10-1

I found this on an old friend's myspace, and thought I'd give it a shot:

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:


1. You took such good care of him...he was so lucky to have you!


2. I was actually quite honored and felt very special when you acknowledged me by name in Cycling last week.


3. You might be ruining their lives.


4. Your child is like that because of you--there is a better way, but I can't bring myself to tell you that.


5. I feel completely abandoned by you--you've skipped out on all my major life events--my wedding, the birth of my child.


6. I think you're going to end up hurt in this situation.


7. Next time you're trying to walk somewhere I'm going to stop you and tickle your feet and get all up in your face.


8. You are not your *blanking* khakis.

9. Get off your butts and DO SOMETHING (yeah that one is for a group of people--that still counts, right? Wait--this is MY survey so I say it counts!)


10. You think you know, but you have no idea who Jesus Christ is.

NINE things about yourself:


1. I am actually really smart.


2. I don't know what I want to be when and if I grow up.


3. There are things about me that only my husband knows.


4. I am absolutely terrified of lizards.


5. I want to run a marathon, but don't think I can pay attention for that long.


6. I'm not all that concerned with the state of disarray my home is in right now.


7. My left foot is slightly bigger than my right foot.


8. If given the opportunity, I think I could actually win an eating contest.


9. If I told you what size jeans I wear you might kill me.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:


1. Be Josh Boldman.


2. Make me laugh.


3. Make me feel special.


4. Make me feel smart.


5. Show me who Jesus is.


6. Scratch your armpit.


7. Assure me that someday, I will get to have cool toys.


8. plaaaaaaay wiiiiiiith me!


SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:


1. Jesus--and how I don't spend enough time with Him.


2. Zeke


3. Josh


4. Lost friendships--this one burns me up inside.


5. When can I have some mommy time?


6. I wonder how my former clients are doing.


7. am I going to finish my Master's degree? Am I going to go back and get another one? aaaaaarrrrgh!


SIX things you do for fun:


1. Starbucks


2. Shop but don't buy anything

3.
Read


4. Waste time on the internet


5. Play with Zeke


6. Do nice things for my hubby.


FIVE turn offs:


1. bad smells



2. putting pressure on me


3.
lying



4. acting like you're better than me or anyone else.



5. Being intrusive


FOUR turn ons:


1. Be Josh Boldman


2.
Be Josh Boldman


3.
Be Josh Boldman



4. Be Josh Boldman


THREE words that describe your life:


1. Guided



2. Important



3. Loved


TWO things you want to do before you die:


1. Travel more



2. See Zeke grow up


ONE confession:
I'm convinced that Netflix exists for the sole purpose of allowing me to watch Tyler Perry's movies.

A Meme!

Here it is, everyone! My first Meme! I had to look up what a Meme was and how to actually pronounce it, just in case someone asks about it in real life :) Here goes:


The "I" Meme

I am: home alone right now

I think: my husband is the greatest pastor ever

I know: too many people.

I have: so much to be thankful for!

I wish: I could figure out what's wrong with my sweet baby when he cries.

I hate: that my husband has to be out late.

I miss: California

I fear: disciplining my child someday.

I feel: like I shouldn't have had real milk in my cereal

I hear: my husband's car pull into the parking lot

I smell: . that's it. I smell. :)

I crave: anything sweet!

I search: for the Lord's will.

I wonder: when's the next time I can have cake?

I regret: past decisions

I love: helping people grieve.

I ache: for the grieving and bereft.

I am not: superwoman...but you can't convince me of that.

I believe: I have a purpose

I dance: ballet

I sing: a lot.

I cry: less now than I did 2-3 months ago

I don't always: have the right answer; but I act like I do.

I fight: injustice

I write: to help me sort things out in my mind

I win: nothing when playing against my husband

I lose: EVERYTHING!!! I can never find my keys! In college it was my meal card! Arrrrgh!

I never: have cash

I always: remember things that other people don't

I confuse: easily

I listen: to other people's problems

I can usually be found: at home with Zeke

I am scared: of many many things

I need: to read the bible

I am happy about: my family

I imagine: a world where my child can grow up without fear

Starting today........

Most of you know that I am a fan and follower (although VERY flexibly so) of Ezzo and Bucknam's "On Becoming Babywise." I also read the "Chronicles of a Babywise Mom" blog, for answers to my deepest, burning Babywise questions. And there are a lot of them! The authors suggest in their second book, "On Becoming Babywise II" (super-creative title, team!) that parents introduce structured playpen time to their children (it is also briefly addressed in the first book). Basically, you get out your playpen, get baby a few toys, put baby in the playpen, and walk away for a little while. The idea is to introduce your child to an increasingly large space where he can be safe, and at the same time, teach him to focus on just a few things at a time. This is thought to produce children who play independently and learn limits and boundaries. The next step, as the child gets older, is introducing this "independent play time" in increasing doses of freedom--next is a blanket, then the bedroom (once it has been properly baby-proofed). Playpen time also allows baby to get used to sleeping in another environment, as they suggest that you allow him to take some naps in it. I invite you to read the Babywise mom's blog for more details about independent play time, because she has a lot of experience with it, and her son Brayden loves it!!

Not long after Zeke was born, some awesome friends of ours blessed us with their old Evenflo Pack and Play playpen. Their son, Joshua (who is partly named after my husband!) is about to be two years old, and only used the Pack n' Play a few times. The gear came to us in a big Evenflo carrying case, and had a lot of metal parts rattling around in it, so I was extremely intimidated by it. Today, I resolved to set up the darn thing and start Zeke's independent playpen time...darn it! So I opened the case, and there it is, all folded up neatly, and it took two stinkin' seconds to set up!!! It just unfolds like an umbrella! The metal pieces that were rattling around were for the bassinet insert, which Zeke is too big for, anyway. There's even a changing table that attaches!!! This thing is so cool. Anyway, so I put Zeke in it in his Bumbo seat first, since he can't really sit up on his own. He needs a little work on sitting in the Bumbo and really just leans over to the side to balance himself, so I decided to take the Bumbo out and lay him on his back with his Baby Einstein Octopus (thanks, Brandon and Miranda!) and favorite rattle (thanks, Auntie JB and Shauna!). I'm close by so I can watch him, which still counts as independent play time, since he can't see me. Until he can sit up, I figure it's best if I keep an eye on him. Of course, I started this venture incredibly nervous that I would be causing my son some irreparable emotional damage by leaving him on his own for any length of time. Although, I've been giving him short spurts of time without me on his gym and in his swing for some time now, but whatever. Well it took him a few minutes to warm up to it, as it does with most new play environments, but he is now giggling, cooing, and rolling on his side, trying to kick the Octopus and (I like to think) make it play its music. He's doing great! This post, however, has taken me FOREVER to write because I keep looking over at him to make sure he's okay!!! Zeke really has no problem with playing independently. It's me who has the problem, but if I didn't have any guilt, I guess I wouldn't truly be a mother, right? I guess this is another example of how motherhood can be difficult, but we have to do some uncomfortable things for the good of our children. Zeke is seriously having a ball over there--I'm having to stop myself from picking him up, so he can have some more fun!

I'll post some more from the front lines of mommyhood soon!

Rachel

Be Strong and Courageous (Subtitle: Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes)

Did I get the right amount of "ch's" in there? I can't seem to remember how many there really are in that song--I LOVE that song! And I don't even know what it means to "turn and face the strain" if that's even what the guy is saying. Anyway............

It's no secret to anyone who knows me or my husband that he is definitely called to church planting. One of the coolest things about our interview process at Westside Community Church was when one of the search committee said, "Now, we're looking for someone who wants to serve here as youth and worship pastor, but also someone who wants to plant." I remember hearing that and smiling SO BIG and looking at my husband like, "That's us! That's us!" I cannot honestly tell you that church planting is MY specific calling, BUT I am DEFINITELY called to follow and support my husband in ministry. Another question during the interview process at Westside, posed by a congregation member during our dessert fellowship question and answer time, was "Do you feel called to be a pastor's wife?" And after telling a story about how a friend of mine definitely felt that call and did not marry a pastor and I had told her "no way I'm ever marrying a pastor" and did, I said, "I don't feel called to be a pastor's wife, but I am called to be Josh's wife." So that means I get to do and be all the things that go along with him and his calling.

However, I'm not as bold as Josh BOLDman. I wasn't born with that name, I married into it. So I married into the bold-ness too. Being married to Josh, the amazing man who is called to church planting, means that unlike other young married women with little babies, I have no idea where we will be in 5 years. I am unable, at this time, to put down "roots." Because of this, I can't have a backyard, I can't put in new cabinets, or plant flowers. Oh, and even though I hate it, I'm going to have to eventually move. There's a part of me that's absolutely terrified of the possibility of leaving my family behind, losing my free babysitting (thanks mom and dad!) and the connection my baby son has with his extended family. Again, I am not as bold as Josh Boldman. But I am starting to find my calling and my own ministry (that's a whole different post), and I'm becoming more courageous. I just started a bible study called "Living Fearlessly: A Study in the Book of Joshua" and it's fabulous so far. God is calling me to be courageous, no matter what, because HE is with me (and Josh) wherever we go. He is calling me to turn to HIM when I am afraid and read HIS word for strength and guidance. In my translation (New Living Translation) God tells Joshua to be courageous 3 times in the first chapter, and the fourth time he is told to be courageous, it is by his own army, as the Lord worked in them to cultivate respect and honor for their leader. I can just imagine the Lord telling Joshua what he needs to do ("Be strong and courageous") and Joshua saying, "But, But God, I just..." and the Lord saying "HAVE I NOT COMMANDED YOU??? BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS, AND THAT'S AN ORDER, YOU WIMP!" I added that last part about Joshua being a wimp. He may or may not have been. You decide.

So I guess I've written all of this to say: I may not be specifically called to church planting MYSELF, but I'm called to follow my husband, who IS called to church planting. And even though I'm afraid of ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (I think I got all the "ch's" in there), the Lord is with me and is calling me to rise above my fear for Him. I am loving this study in Joshua, and can tell that God led me specifically to it. If you want to pick it up and go through it with me, it's available at Family Christian. I'm going to try to link to it in this post.

Oh I, Oh, I'm still alive....

Hello!
As you can see, I haven't been posting every day. Nor have I been posting every other day. I am a blog-posting failure! Oh well. As you can see from my subject/title line, I'm still alive! Zeke is now sleeping at least 10 hours at night. This isn't a HUGE change from what he was doing before, but it means that I don't have to feed him at 10:00/10:30 p.m. anymore, so if I want to go to bed early, I can. Has that happened yet? Nope! But still, if I wanted to, I could!

The gym where I am a faithful member, Lifestyle Family Fitness, has their own little music video channel that plays out on the gym floor, so if you don't have your own source of music or you're not watching TV on the elliptical machines (I'm convinced that the only reason we re-joined the gym is so we can watch cable), you can listen to/watch music. One morning last week, one of the videos caught my eye. It was the video for one of my favorite songs, "Like a Stone," by one of my favorite bands, Audioslave (That's right people, I don't ONLY listen to Christian music--let's take a second to get over that, shall we? Okay, are we good? Good.). Audioslave is made up of some members of other, older bands. The lead singer is Chris Cornell, formerly of Soundgarden, and the other guys are from Rage Against the Machine. The video was pretty straightforward, just the band playing in a really cool location. What caught my eye was the fact that one of the band members was holding his baby (probably about 6 months old) in the scenes in-between the band playing. And I got to thinking, wow. We're all growing up, aren't we? The guys in this band are at LEAST 10 years older than me, so they got a later start than I did, but look at them--they're starting families too. I thought it was so awesome to see these tough rocker guys playing with an adorable little baby, and clearly loving her. I guess when you grow up and have kids, you become a little softer and gentler. Besides being totally pumped because "Like a Stone" is one of my favorite songs, I was really touched by the sight.

Well I guess this is growing up!

Pictures of Zeke

Well everyone, here are some new pictures of Zeke. They are actually from earlier tonight during his play time. I am a super-excited mommy right now because he grabbed his lion all by himself for the very first time! My son is a genius! He also, uh, made out with the lion for a good 15 minutes. Don't ask, don't tell, people! The rest of the pictures are available here!

"Live and Learn and Then Get LUVS..."

....and then probably go back to using Huggies.

I'm turning into a bit of a diaper snob. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I have about a million $1.00-$1.50 off coupons for Huggies diapers. Some of them expire later this month, while others expire in 2009. I typically buy diapers every week, except for the past few weeks, as my son has just grown into the size 2 JUMBO-GINORMOUS pack I was given at my baby shower. So last week the time came to buy diapers, and I had my Huggies coupon in hand, and I marched my happy little butt up to the diaper aisle at Wal-Mart. There they were, Huggies size 2, with Winnie the Pooh characters and all sorts of fluffy cuddle-weave-y stuff all over them. $9.99, as expected. And then, of course, I had my coupon. Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to the left, where I saw LUVS brand diapers, for $7.50. And there's 50 of them in a pack! Suddenly, I was torn between two diaper brands. I stood there for, no lie, about five whole minutes, deciding whether or not I should take a chance and get the LUVS diapers this week. I had this horrible anxious feeling in my chest, like I was about to be a bad mother for switching diapers on my son. I was reassured by that voice inside my head--no, not THAT one--the one that said "You live and learn, and then get LUVS." That's right, I was ultimately swayed by their advertising--good job, LUVS PR reps! Your college degrees earned you a new customer! So now I've lived and learned, I got LUVS, and I'm not all that thrilled with them. Here's why:

1. LUVS have a scent. It's not an unpleasant scent, but it is a scent, nonetheless. It's kind of a baby powder-y sort of smell.

2. They are extremely thin. Yes, they have the "leak lock core" or something like that, but they feel like tissue paper.

3. When my son pees the gallons that he does every day, the diapers end up feeling like a water balloon. They're all sloshy. Huggies just feel heavier. You can't actually feel the liquid in them.

4. Let's talk poop. If you've ever nursed a child or changed a nursed child's diaper, you know that their poop is the consistency of mustard when it's at its most solid. Other times, it's extremely liquid, and sometimes it's even gel-like. Sorry, I know that's gross. Being so thin, and only really absorbing ACTUAL liquid, LUVS doesn't handle the poop very well. Huggies at least absorbs it. I wonder if LUVS work better for formula fed babies, who have a more solid, sticky poop. Okay, no more poop.

5. LUVS have sticky tabs rather than Velcro. I like the Huggies Velcro tabs.

6. Because they are so thin, LUVS are loud. When Zeke moves, it sounds like he is rolling around in tissue paper.

So there you have it--I'm not sure if I'll stick with LUVS or if I'll go back to Huggies. The fact that LUVS are at least $1.00 less than Huggies, even when I have a coupon, is a major selling point. For now, they're all I've got. So I have to avert my eyes when I'm changing Zeke and he looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes as if to say, "Why did you switch my diaper brand, mom?! I thought we had a good thing going with Winnie the Pooh!" Oh, the guilt.