Thursday, May 29, 2008

A prayer close to my heart

Prayer for Nursing

By Elisheva S. Urbas

God of our mothers, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah, You remembered me when I longed for this child and in the pain of labor, and You have brought me, rejoicing, to hold this infant in my arms. Now I turn to You again, hoping to feed this child as You feed all living creatures, out of Your boundless lovingkindness; and I trust in you, that in Your goodness You surely will not let my child lack sustenance, neither now nor ever, for the sake of Your great Name. Let any pain that I may feel as I nurse this child be submerged in my joy as I watch the miracle of my flourishing baby; and keep us from any misfortune that may cause suffering to my child or to me between now and the time that my child is safely weaned. May Your goodness teach me to help my child grow both now in my arms and in all the years You grant us together. For you are the God who has always given me good things. Blessed are You, God, who sustains all.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

WOW I guess there's a lot to catch up on here in the old bloggity blog. As you can imagine, life with a one-month-old (yes, he is one month old--actually just over 5 weeks to be exact!) is everything you think it is: namely, very busy and pretty exhausting. Right now it is just about 9:00 a.m. and I have already been mostly awake since 5:00 a.m. Zeke is amazing! He only wakes up once overnight, between 3:30 and 4:30 a.m. We don't have an ENTIRELY stable "routine" yet, because of his variable wake-up times overnight, but our day usually starts between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m. Today he was already waking up when I went in to wake him up to eat, and so far, he has been all smiles. He fell asleep in the stroller when we took a walk around the neighborhood and went straight to bed when we got home without a fuss. Yesterday however, was a different story. Here's the background:

I am fairly certain that my son gets a pretty serious case of "the Mondays" every week. We had a CRAZY weekend this week, with Josh's mom coming down to Tampa from Alabama on Saturday to look at apartments, since his parents expect to move down within the next 30-60 days! Saturday was ridiculously crazy and exhausting. It also consisted of such fun as nursing in the car a few times and giving a bottle at lunch without being able to pump before or after! It was a great day even though it was tiring, and I was happy just to be spending time with my little family!

Going back to Friday night, Josh and I went on our first date without the baby! We're EXTREMELY proud of ourselves, since some people don't get out for MONTHS after a baby is born. We went out for dinner and a movie, and I only called my mom to check on Zeke once! He was very well-behaved at Grandma's house, but was a little out-of-sorts when he came back home.

So you can see, after a strange Friday and Saturday, why our little guy would be tuckered out on Sunday. He would barely wake up from his naps to eat, and by the time we got to the Chicken BarBQue at my parents' church, he was down for the count with a 3 hour nap.

Zeke's case of the "Mondays" started as soon as he woke up...and he stayed awake crying for most of the day. The poor little guy just couldn't settle down for anything. I remained calm while he was crying, but I just felt SO BAD! Not knowing what he wanted (which, in reality was probably nothing but the very thing he was fighting off--sleep) was very frustrating. By the time evening and late night rolled around, he was much better. It was such an exhausting day; trying to figure out what he wanted and how I could soothe him made time go by extremely quickly. Anyway, I am glad that today is a new day and we get to start over. My sweet little sleepyhead is sound asleep in his crib. Everytime I think he's making noise I realize it's just one of our nasty apartment cats outside. :)

In other news, I officially resigned my position as Family Case Manager at Kids Hope United. All I have to do is put it in writing. I am sad to leave a job that has given me such great experience and has incredible flexibility and variety, but God is clearly leading us to have me stay at home with our little guy. It will be difficult, but we will be trusting God to provide when we have no idea where finances will come from.

Okay, well I guess that's the update! Time for me to try to get a little bit of rest before I feed Zeke again!

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I'm not the biggest Steven Curtis Chapman fan, but the story of his daughter Maria Sue's tragic death yesterday really touched my heart. Read about it here and keep their family (especially his son) in your prayers/positive thoughts/whatever. I think the song he wrote for this particular daughter is especially poignant, so here are the lyrics:


She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,
Without a care in the world.
And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It's been a long day and there's still work to do,
She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I'd approve of a dress
She says "Dad, the prom is just one week away,
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
She will be gone.

Well, she came home today
With a ring on her hand
Just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned
She says "Dad, the wedding's due six months away
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
(even one song)
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Friday, May 16, 2008


Dana is totally right. Pride is a sin, too. :)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Celebrate good times, come on!

That's right, even though my child cried straight through his usual 90 minute morning/early afternoon nap time, it's time to celebrate. What, exactly, are we celebrating? My return to normal clothing--normal clothing in a size EXTREMELY close to my old one, nonetheless! So to all the people out there who said that I would stay fat after I gave birth (and said they were happy about that fact, too)...nanny nanny boo boo, it took me less than a month to lose 95% of my pregnancy weight. And I'm pretty sure jealousy is a sin, so you better check yo' self! :)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The last few days...

The last few days have been interesting.

My very first Mother's Day was great! Josh and I broke all of the rules and took Zeke to church! It was good to be there, finally out of the house, with friends. Everyone thought Zeke was SO CUTE (duh, he IS!) and were very impressed with how alert he was (until he zonked out--thanks, Pastor Biz!). After church we all did our share of napping, and we went to my parents' house for dinner.

Yesterday was a VERY rough day. Zeke was extremely fussy and would not stop crying for most of the day. He didn't get any of his naps except for a really long one at 12:30 (I think; it all runs together). In the morning, Josh actually came home from work to help me. Not only was the baby hysterical, but I was too. There's nothing like feeling COMPLETELY powerless to help your child. I HATE that feeling. When Josh got home for real at 9:15 p.m., the baby was still inconsolable. He gave me a break and was able to hold him for a little while. He finally calmed down after about 20 minutes of screaming in his crib (another thing I HATE--letting him cry), with the thought that I would get to sleep until his 11:30 feeding. Well, he didn't quite make it to 11:30 and Josh woke me up at 11:00. We decided to give him a bottle of pumped milk while I pumped. At this point, Josh and I have realized that the poor child has an insane amount of gas coming out of both ends. So I think back through what I've eaten over the past day or so and come to the conclusion that I need to cut out some dairy. You see, at my parents' house I ate ice cream, and then had cereal with milk for breakfast. Now that may not seem significant to you, but LAST week I ate ice cream at my parents' house, too....and Zeke had a bad Monday last week as well. SO I dumped the milk I pumped, and resolved to begin using soy milk with my cereal and watching the amounts of other dairy I eat. The idea came from my best friend Kim, whose baby (3 weeks older than Zeke) is extremely colicky--she stopped dairy last week and today she told me Abby has been doing MUCH better.

So today, Zeke has been a perfect angel. Last night, after taking his bottle, he woke up at 4:45 a.m. to eat again (He slept almost 5 hours!), and did just fine. All day he has been going down for his naps without any fuss (except for his first morning nap, but he calmed down SO fast!) and eating OKAY, although he hasn't been eating much at each feeding. ANYWAY, we're a little bit off of our routine today, but he's sleeping right now and is very peaceful. We've enjoyed each other's company. I think that's a fair trade-off.

Now I'm going to try to get a little bit of rest before feeding him again.


Saturday, May 10, 2008

More pictures of Zeke

Go to my Picasa site to see the full album and all the hospital/coming home pictures. :)

Pictures of Zeke!

Posted by Picasa

Thursday, May 8, 2008

My mothering skills continue to improve

Today I amazed myself...and the day is not over yet...there is plenty more amazement yet to be had. Allow me to explain:

For the past 2 and 1/2 weeks, Zeke has been working himself into a pretty decent routine. It's not always TOTALLY consistent, but for the most part, it actually is. He eats every 3 hours, is awake for a little bit, then goes down for a nap (he is still a total sleepyhead). Overnight we now let him wake us up. The past few days, he has woken us up at 2:30/3:00 a.m. at which time I feed him, change him, and put him right back to bed. He's been sleeping after that straight through to 6:00/6:30 a.m. This morning, I actually had to wake him up at 6:30 to eat. After that, he usually has a tiny bit of alert time, and then goes back down for a nap, as do I, until 9:00/9:30 or so. Not today. Today he cried and fussed, fussed and cried, lost his pacifier about 7 times (it wasn't that bad but it felt like it) and although he was quiet when Josh left for work, as soon as he left the house, he started crying again. I let him cry for 10 minutes, then went in to see what was wrong. He was fed, I gave him his pacifier, and still he spit it out and started crying. Okay, maybe he's got a diaper situation, I thought. Well, turns out he did. He had a wet diaper. I changed it, set him down, he squawked for a second, and then boom, he was out. So there ya go--I figured out what was wrong with my baby! Now he's crying again. and I have no idea what's wrong again. Back to square one.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


I swear Zeke grew overnight. I was looking at him today (one of my favorite pastimes) and I realized that the kid really is huge. He doesn't present himself as such, mostly because he likes to have his little legs folded up like a frog, but while changing his diaper I realized (because he kicks his legs out straight to protest the nakedness) that he is enormous. I put him in size 1 diapers today--he could still wear newborn size, but he is definitely fitting into the size 1's too. I tried to put him in a Newborn size Winnie the Pooh sleeper outfit, and his feet are too big for it--also, when he straightens out his legs, the poor outfit stretches really bad! So I decided to get some of his Newborn non-shorts outfits out and take some pictures of him in them, since he mostly wears white onesies during the day. Once I find the connector cord for the camera that will hook it up to the laptop (I think it's in the car), I'll post some new pictures of my little (big) man. He is truly amazing. I don't know my newborn milestones very well, but he is starting to lift his head and turn it from side to side, which I think is pretty cool for only being 2 and 1/2 weeks old! He is still a sleepyhead and I wake him up every 2 and 1/2 to 3 hours during the day. But last night he slept from midnight (11:00 feeding) to 2:30 and then from about 3:00 to 6:15. That's really not too bad. He's really finding his niche, as far as routine goes. He's not known for his consistency, but each day is a new adventure, and I'm trying to just take it as it comes, one day at a time. He's also starting to put himself to sleep by crying for a few minutes. By the time I'm ready to rush in and rescue him, he's already calmed down and (sometimes) passed out. I am blessed to have this little guy in my family! Josh and I thank the Lord for giving him to us. We could not have asked for a more special gift!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Ancient Voices of Children

My name is Ezekiel Boldman! You may remember me from older posts such as "Dear Everyone" (both of them), "Dear Body," "Dear Me," "Dear OB," "Dear Insomnia," and "My Adventures as a Stay-At-Home Mom." Basically, before I made my grand entrance, my mom was obsessed with the fact that I was inside of her and did not want to come out as early as she would have liked. She was tired, frustrated, anxious, and had to pee ALL THE TIME! On April 20, 2008, I entered the world in the usual way. Mom keeps telling people that it was a really easy birth experience and that she is really proud of herself for having such a short, painless labor. Apparently, she's a natural at this "childbirth" thing--I knew that all along, which was why I waited to come out. I knew she'd push me out really fast and well, I just wanted to stay in as long as possible. So now here I am. I've been here two weeks and I'm a big guy! I was 8 lb. 10 oz. when I was born, but now I am 9 lb. 14 oz.! I have grown an inch and a half, and am now 23 and 1/4 inches long. The nurse at Dr. Gross's office said that I am "off the chart" and I made her measure me again! She was right the first time, and I AM off the chart--the baby growth chart, that is! Here are some of the things I like to do:

* Eat
* Sleep
* Be swaddled
* Fill up an endless amount of diapers--especially when the poop comes with a really loud fart!
* Make my mommy worry about me because I don't follow the "typical" breastfeeding time limits--but it's all good, as you can see, I'm gaining weight at an astonishing rate!
* Make my mommy cry when she reads "Guess How Much I Love You" to me.
* Pick my head up when I'm laying on my tummy on mommy and daddy, or on their shoulders and look from side to side (I'm so advanced!)
* Wake up on occasion enough to look at my mommy and daddy and watch them make silly facial expressions (I have a few of my own, too!)
* Snuggle
* Do the hand motions for "Every Move I Make" with daddy (the David Crowder version, of course)
* Make daddy do the "Daddy Wake-Up Dance." This is why I sleep so much and so soundly. I really like watching and feeling mommy and daddy try to wake me up. I laugh on the inside.

At this point, my mommy is adjusting to being my mommy. She misses daddy during the day, but is super-excited to see him when he comes home from work and youth at night! She's still a little anxious, but I think that's to be expected considering the fact that she has never really cared for a baby before! I'm going easy on her right now--I let her sleep a decent amount. She's lucky.

Well, it's time for my nap again...then mommy will feed me at 8:00. Tonight she and daddy get to let me sleep as long as I want, until it's been 5 or 6 hours! Then they have to wake me up and feed me, if I haven't woken up hungry already. We'll see how it goes! I sure do like to sleep!

Thanks for praying for me while I was inside my mom. Keep those prayers coming! I've got a lot of growing, and mom's got a lot of adjusting to do!


P.S. "Ancient Voices of Children" is a piece by George Crumb. Very cool. You should check it out.

Friday, May 2, 2008


How sad is it that I just started crying during an episode of "Roseanne?" It was the episode where the dark haired girl goes into premature labor and delivers a 28 week old baby girl. Of course, the baby survives, but still. I cried a little. Keep in mind that I was never allowed to watch Roseanne, so all these repeats on TV 27 are new to me!

Anyway, this month's theme is "Voices," and I know I will not be able to keep up with the one post per day thing. However, today I would like to talk about the voice that called my phone this morning at about 10:00 this morning. We'll call her "Nora." She called me in broken english asking about my Jetta. At that point, I handed the phone to my knight in shining armor, Josh, who took it from there. He eventually gleaned that this woman was calling because she had test-driven (or was test-driving) my Jetta at the dealership. She somehow got my phone number and wanted to know how the car was when I had it, because she wanted to buy it for her son. She said she got my number from inside the car, but we cleaned the car out before handing it over to the dealer. If she had even gotten a number from the glove box, she would have gotten my OLD number from Volusia county. Josh called the dealer and they couldn't tell us anything. EITHER they gave her my phone number, OR, they left the return receipt in the car from when we turned it in. Either way, it's their fault. As you can imagine, especially if you've read my husband's blog at, they are not taking responsibility for anything. Big surprise. So today's experience with voices was not good. That is all. Brain is fried. Baby needs to eat in an hour.