Sunday, March 8, 2009

Stomach yuck

What a week!

On Tuesday night, I made a fabulous dinner of hot dogs and corn bread, made with cornbread mix and a can of creamed corn. It was delicious; mostly because the hot dogs were Nathan's. Oh my goodness...YUM. Well about two hours later, my stomach started rumbling its protest for what I had eaten. I was quite upset, because it was so stinkin' good! I went to bed that night with a stomach ache, thinking that the cornbread just didn't agree with me. My sweet husband said to me before falling into a blissful sleep, "If you need ANYTHING tonight, you wake me up and let me know, ok?" I replied, "Okay honey, I love you," thinking that there was no need for his offer and that I'd wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to start the day. I woke up several times over night with an awful taste in my mouth, and an even more horrible feeling in my tummy. Anyone remember the "Ramona the Pest" books? In one of them she is laying in bed praying, "Please God don't let me throw up" over and over, and then she sits up: "Please God don't let me throw---" and you can imagine the rest. Well my story didn't happen QUITE like that, but I started breathing heavily, rolled over to Josh and said quite loudly (it was 3:30 a.m. at this point, by the way), "Honey, I need you to get me a bowl." He jumped up the fastest I've ever seen him, and brought me back a bowl just as swiftly. My hero!! I retreated to the bathroom and alternated between that location and the bed for the rest of the "night." I didn't throw up until later in the morning, but the bowl was my constant companion. My AMAZING husband took care of the baby while I slept and just stayed horizontal for the rest of the day. My mom also came over while Josh was at youth, to help take care of the baby. I haven't thrown up since Wednesday, but the OTHER symptoms have continued until today...if you know what I mean. Today was the first day I have been able to really eat since Tuesday night. And I'm slowly getting my appetite back. I'm starting this week 5 lbs. lighter than last week! Everyone wants to lose a few pounds, but this was not a fun way to do it.

We thought Zeke had made it through without catching it.....until Friday when he woke up from his nap in a puddle of...well, you know...

We thought Josh had made it through without catching it until just before he had to leave for youth and...well, you know... The jury is still out on Josh--we're not sure if he's really got it or not; and he's at the church right now so I haven't heard how he is feeling.

Here are some prayer requests (yes I realize that this whole post was too much information, but I've just got to express myself, ya know?!):

*That Zeke will get over this QUICKLY.
*That Zeke will start eating normally again and not lose too much weight
*That Josh will NOT get this at all.
*That my milk supply will bounce back from me being dehydrated and unable to eat these past few days
*That once this horrible virus has made it through our house, it will NOT come back!!!!!

Got any advice for keeping this stuff at bay?!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The most hated man in America... The Bachelor's Jason Mesnick. I really really really REALLY feel for Melissa, his original pick--the woman he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It's hard enough to have your engagement broken off the day before finals at a teeny-tiny private university your Junior year, then watch, dumbfounded, as your ex-fiancee gets over you and starts dating someone about 2 seconds after arriving back on campus in August...I can't imagine how it must be to experience that in front of national television. Welcome, Melissa, to a little "club" that helped me through my own public h-e-double-hockey-sticks six years ago--the almost-brides. The break-up of an engagement is many things: torturous, heartbreaking, stomach-turning, and sad. But most of all, it is incredibly, horrifically embarassing. Think of it this way: you have spend the past however long (it doesn't really matter the length of the engagement) making a big deal out of your relationship. You yell from the rooftops how awesome your fiancee is, how awesome you are, how much everyone should pay attention to you because you are just so stinking happy! You've made plans, you've spent time with HIS family, hopefully you haven't put down deposits (but you may have). Then when it ends, *poof*, you have to tell everyone, "Oh, just kidding. Remember that person I said I was going to be with forever, and how much we love each other? Yeah, nevermind." In extreme cases, you may have to send back gifts. I, thank the Lord, did not have to do that. You are then treated with pitiful kid gloves by everyone you know. Your friends who get engaged after this happens to you will not tell you. You'll find out from other people. You won't get invited to things. Friends who were mutal between you and your fiancee will pick sides. You want to think it won't happen, but it will. Most of our friends? They chose him.

Please don't hear (read) me wrong. Everyone has the right to change their mind. But that decision and the resulting heartbreak should not be played out on national television. And I can't emphasize enough that it's okay for the breaker-upper to enter into another relationship. However, it is NOT COOL to do that basically in front of your ex's face. YOU. JUST. DON'T. DO. THAT. I had my ex's new relationship shoved in my face for the following almost two years, because they stayed together after we graduated. She was younger than us, so she was still in school, and I was working at the university. It was not pleasant.

At the heart of this heart break is the idea and value of a promise. I place a very high value on promises made and kept. I considered my engagement a promise. Other people may disagree and say that there is no promise made until the final "I do," but I think especially for women, that ring means so much more. Hearing Melissa ask, "Then why did you put a ring on my finger?" broke my heart. She asked many questions that I also asked. Neither of us got answers. In situations like this, you rarely do. When Melissa said, "You chose me, but you didn't want to fight for me," I cringed. We all want to be fought for; to know that our love and our relationship and our commitment is worth something. If you've read any of John and Stasi Eldredge's books, you know that our great, unanswerable question is "Am I worth fighting for?" Melissa's question was not answered. My question was not answered.

Oh sweet Melissa, if I could tell you one thing it would be that it is NOT your fault. You are a unique person who deserves to be treated with respect and honor. Should a relationship not work out, you deserve to be part of that decision and not left vulnerable. You should be kept safe. I have learned that no one can TRULY answer my question but the Lord. HE is where I find my worth. But it sure helps to know that He sent me someone to answer my question on earth. It is because of the Lord that I can look back on my first engagement and say, "Thank you Lord that it did not work out." And it is because of that experience that I was prepared for my next (and last) engagement and eventual marriage. Melissa, I know it feels like he stole your engagement experience (because no one ever imagines having TWO or more engagements), and he DID. But someday, some wonderful man is going to STEAL IT BACK. And it will be so much better than walking up a pathway wondering if he loves you and if you're the one he's going to pick. You are worth SO much more than what he could EVER give you! You have a tough road ahead of you, but you will make it through.

I am SO happy to be out the other side of my engagement experience. It made me who I am and led me to Josh, so I am able to be thankful for it now.

Melissa, welcome to the "almost brides" club. Relax, kick up your heels up and grab a drink. You'll need it. Can't wait to kick you out, though!

Monday, March 2, 2009

I'm alive-ish

Hi everyone!

I wanted to blog all last week, but I just couldn't. I don't know if it's because I didn't feel like it; or I was tired; or I just couldn't find the words. On Tuesday evening one of the other associate pastors at our church passed away very suddenly. We carried on the rest of the week and through the memorial service with a tremendous sadness of a magnitude that I, personally, have not experienced in a long time. It is difficult to know that today, Josh went to work and did not have lunch with Pastor Rod. I was happy to make a lunch for him, but did so with tears in my eyes because I knew WHY I was making the lunch. Josh and Rod spent a lot of time together, and had been to lunch the very day he passed. Rod's presence will be missed greatly. His leadership and guidance will be missed even more. And his love for Christ, well, that was immeasurable and will be missed the most. It's comforting to know that he is with our savior and is at peace. People keep saying, "I just know he's up there in heaven with so and so, doing such and such..." and I don't think that's true. I think Rod is up in heaven with Jesus just soaking it all in, and completely concentrated on praising our Lord. He is asking questions and talking to those who have gone before, and is not concerned with anyone or anything else. And that's the way it should be.

Other than last week being a total mess, things are going well. Zeke seems to have worked out his napping issues with some help from a curtain to keep the light out of his room. He is also sleeping in "big boy" jammies; a tee-shirt and pants. Today when I went in to feed him in the morning it just didn't seem possible that he is a boy now, not a baby. And no, it does NOT make me want another baby. I'll leave the procreation up to all the other women in the church, who seem to be handling it quite effectively on their own. :)

Love to you all.


Sunday, March 1, 2009