Tuesday, February 16, 2010

On Finishing

I bet you didn't know that I'm "Not Just A..." (fill in the blank with whatever you choose--"lover of fine literature," "voracious consumer of potato products", really. Whatever); I am also a student. A graduate student, at that. I've had THAT prestigious title since the Summer of 2004. Now, a deadline looms on my horizon.

"Congratulations on your acceptance into our ridiculously awesome Master of Science in Counseling program. You have six years to complete it. Time staaaaaaaaaaaaaarts..........


Since that Summer, my journey has been like a traffic jam. Start. Stop. Start. Go for a little while and screech to a halt. To make a very long and complicated story a bit shorter (just in case you're reading this on your phone and can't scroll down too much at once), I've been in a state of limbo since my son was born. "Taking a break," so to speak. Every last bit of my coursework is complete. All I need is 2 semesters of an internship and I've got that degree in my grubby little hands. Hold it there sister, just one problem. This Summer, my six years is up. I will be applying for, and am hoping to receive, a one year extension on that deadline because I'm ready. Life happened, got in the way, and now I've got to finish.

So I'm about to press the gas pedal again and hopefully cruise to the exit. 800 hours of unpaid work away from my husband and son is what NOW looms on my horizon. It is going to suck. But the end result will be exciting because I will finish a dream and take a big step toward living out my purpose (more on THAT subject later. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here). Doors of opportunity will fly open off their hinges for me to walk through if I choose. At the very least they might squeak open a tiny crack and I can use the muscles I've gained over the past couple of years as a fitness instructor to push and kick them open all the way.

Excitement and fear feel very similar to me, so I don't know WHAT I'm feeling right now. All I know is that it's time to put my foot down on the gas instead of keeping it where it is--hovering over the brake, ready to end my journey for good. TWO SEMESTERS. That's IT. Time to finish the race.

Have you ever pressed on to finish something even though the journey was difficult? how did it turn out? How did you feel when it was over?


Megan said...

When I got my master's degree, I went Full time and did it in a year and a half. It was sooo worth it... but crazy. Caris was not yet 1 year old...and Chris was in seminary. That was almost 5 years ago! Time flies!

Good for you!

Anonymous said...

An older wiser stay at home mom told me, that we stay at home for a reason, to raise our children, to be their number one, to support our husbands - I could go on but pretty much an everything to everyone, but we have to remember,we were someone before we met our husbands, one day our children move out, those friends that supported you might not be there and you, well you don't want to be in the same place you were in 20 years ago...so while you play a cheerleader in everyone's life. You have to continue yours and you have to cheer yourself (other's will cheer you, too) but don't forget to put that energy back ino yourself. (of course this convo was longer but thats the short part of it)
Why does that sound so easy - yet I had to hear it from someone.
That's why I am back in school and doing other things for me. Because I am being proactive.
Congrats and I hope you get that extention!

Susan said...

I have my masters and thank goodness it's over! Took me 5 years. And not only does life get in the way, but you also want to enjoy it, savor it for what it is... mind candy!

Hang in there! You've nearly made it!

Susan at Charm of the Carolines