Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Why I'm Moderately Okay With Obama's Healthcare Thingy

First and foremost, I would like to state the following, for the record:
**Am I super-dee-duper thrilled and ecstatic about Obama's plan? No. Like everything in life, it has drawbacks as well as advantages. Even cuddly puppies pee on the floor. Take that how you will.
**Do I believe that one political party has all the answers? No.
**That includes you, Republicans. Neither you NOR the Democrats, NOR the Independents, NOR the Green Party NOR the Tea Party NOR Ted Nugent have all the answers to any question or any dilemma facing the nation.

Now that all that is out of the way, we can begin.

I owe my OB/GYN in Missouri approximately $500.00. Not because I am currently or was at the time, pregnant. My visit was slightly related to some general post-pregnancy/post-large-baby issues of the female nature. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. My initial visit, and subsequent visit for a diagnostic ultrasound, as well as exams during both visit, were for problems, not pregnancy.
Yes, we had insurance. It was very pricey insurance. We KNOWINGLY declined pregnancy coverage because of the cost it would incur my husband's employer. Since we were not planning on having a baby, we figured that made sense. However, we owe the OB/GYN in Missouri $500.00 because *drumroll please* my reproductive organs were not covered under our policy until after a waiting period, which ended twenty days after my visits...and of THAT, we were not informed.

Yeah. Did you know that having a uterus is a pre-existing condition? I didn't, but now I do. And now my husband is unemployed (but not for long--yay! But that doesn't matter because we're still stuck with the bill) and we owe the OB/GYN in Missouri $500.00.

Under Obama's new health care plan, people like us, people who find other insurance too pricey to get the coverage they need, will have options. Were the new plan already in place, we would probably have had Medicaid during the time of my OB/GYN visit because income restrictions would have been adjusted and we would have qualified. Before you pass judgment on those who are on "welfare," take a look at this: Oh yeah, him? He will be receiving Medicaid as soon as we can apply for it. Don't tell me he doesn't deserve it. There is nothing wrong with being on Medicaid. Medical care is expensive, and we all need it. Now we can all get it.

Yes, I know it's expensive to the American people as a whole, and I will never pretend to know the ins and outs of the budgetary ramifications of such a Bill as this. But what I do know is that I am okay with helping others out. Paying higher taxes so someone who wouldn't normally be able to afford insurance can do so is okay with me. If it's not okay with you, maybe you haven't taken a foster child to the dentist or doctor and used their Medicaid, thanking God the whole time that they are able to get medicine when they were sick. Or maybe you haven't ridden in the car with a homeless, HIV-positive mother who also has Ovarian and Cervical cancer and is receiving Chemotherapy thanks to Medicaid, which covered her reproductive organs without a waiting period. Maybe you SHOULD talk to some of those people and hear those stories. They need that public option.

I see President Obama's healthcare reform as "leveling the playing field," so to speak. If everyone has to have health insurance, then bigger companies will lower their costs and increase their options. More doctors will accept more plans, and more people will benefit. One of the sad realities of the Medicaid system, and I have seen it in the cases I mentioned above, is that many of the doctors who take Medicaid are NOT the best. Not that they aren't fine doctors, but perhaps a more specialized doctor could be found to treat a certain condition more quickly than another.

The point I'm making is that with this new healthcare reform, my $500.00 owed to the OB/GYN would not be an issue. I would have qualified for Medicaid or a lower-cost, better health care plan that included my uterus. And chances are, under the new plan there will be fewer restrictions such as "you must wait x-amount-of-time before your hoo-hoo has any problems."

So for me and all the other uteruses (uteri?) out there, just give it a chance. Open your mind beyond your party's lines and let's give President Obama a fighting chance with this thing. He is our President, and he deserves at LEAST our support, even if it's not enthusiastic. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to come up with $500.00.

Romans 13:1 (NLT)
"Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.

Daniel 2:21 (NIV)
"It is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings; He gives wisdom to wise men and knowledge to men of understanding.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Transition Part II

I don't know who stole my baby and replaced him with a screaming, fussy toddler, but I have words for you. HARSH words. Zeke has been EXTREMELY "touchy" lately. Surely moms, you know what I mean.

Normally he is such a wonderful, obedient little man. And even at his worst, he is not as bad as he could be. But the tears have flowed on more occasions than I care to remember over the past few weeks. Today, they were mine. Zeke couldn't decide whether or not he wanted to eat a graham cracker after breakfast; thus, he was having a fit and crying his little heart out. This is where our conversation picks up.

Me: Honey, let's go play!
Zeke: NO!
Me: Darlin', look at all those toys! They're so fun!
Zeke: No mama, HOME!
Me: Sweetheart, we ARE home. This is our home now.
Zeke: No! Home. Toys. Mama, please?

My. Heart. Sank.

He knows. The fact that we ripped him out of the only place he had known, where we moved when he was only 16 months old, is not lost on him. He has a memory now. He remembers his friends. Every once in a while he will ask for his friends and say "Hug". Many of his toys are missing; in storage. Much of our life is the same as when we left Florida--I take him to the gym to see his favorite baby sitter. He has the same friends. But he doesn't remember THEM, because he was still just a baby when we left. Until today I failed to recognize that he might have trouble with this move. And trouble, he haz it. It explains so much about his recent behavior: the refusal to eat, the screaming, the sensitivity. I vowed this morning to be more understanding.

He wants to go back home, back to what's familiar and comfortable.

And don't we all?

"Beloved I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation."
1 Peter 2:11-12 (English Standard Version), emphasis mine

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why I love Blogging...

I love blogging because....

This is me...RIGHT now:

Let that beautiful portrait just marinate in your brain for a little while.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Here's your update

I've been back "home" in Florida for a week. Tonight will mark Josh's one-week "anniversary" as well.

Most of you know, but some of you might not, that we are living with my parents. It is humbling to be back here, relying on them again. But we're trying to do as much as we can on our own. I cook dinner...yay me! The employment search has begun, and hopefully will end soon. Though I know in this economy there is no guarantee.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that this is scary, y'all. I have some thoughts brewing about my fear, which I'll share eventually, but they're still forming.

I'd also be lying if I didn't tell you that life is great right now. I already have a spot teaching at my old gym. I've been taking classes with my amazing instructor friends, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed them. I was approved for an extension on my degree, and will begin my counseling internship in May.

As much as things are falling apart all around me, as soon as they hit the floor they're bouncing up and coming back together.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Transition

Moms, what is the hardest part of labor?
"Transition labor"

Transition is the hardest part of life, so "Transition Labor" is aptly named.

My little family is in a time of great transition. The upheaval it has taken to get us this far is unbelievable and almost unbearable.

We are now back in Florida, tucked safely behind the walls and wings of my parents' house and arms, as they feed us and love our little boy. I feel like I did back in high school--no one can hurt me here. We're here to lick our proverbial "wounds," get angry, kick and scream, take care of ourselves and each other (thanks, Jerry Springer), and re-learn dependence and independence.

Our belongings are either in storage or in other peoples' possession, causing us to cut ties with earthly "stuff," and we just wait until it's time to branch out on our own again.

I am in and out of tears on a daily basis, remembering, wishing, and wanting. But also, reflecting. On grace and goodness, and holiness. And sovereignty. All things I question but know to be true at the same time.

I know right now with the greatest of certainties that my soul is starving. Sometimes anorexic, refusing food; sometimes bulimic, regurgitating what it knows is best. I open the bible and grasp for straws and shove them in my mouth. But sometimes I can't keep them down so I just don't even try.

This is just a "season," to be sure. But Punxsutawney Phil said "six more weeks of winter." Bah Humbug. Transition to Spring.

Friday, March 5, 2010

REAL

The Start

"REAL"
"AUTHENTIC"
"GENUINE"

Buzzwords? Maybe.
I try to be all of these things in all of my relationships, but it is difficult. I have a mask just like everyone else. So here's where I'll start. It's time for me to get real about some things that are going on; things I'm struggling with.

There is a LOT happening. I'm not ready to express all of it, but my blog is like therapy for me in so many ways, so I'll get it out here as soon as I have the words.

But for right now, at this instant, here's my struggle:
I know I am supposed to turn to the Bible and prayer for support and comfort. My faith has always been my source. But I am so weary, I don't even know where to start.

Where should I go? How should I even start praying?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Important.

It's important to be "Not Just A..." because you never know when your "Just A..." is going to come to an end.

What do you think?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Fashion = Education

She's Still Got It is one of my favorite blogs right now. Lindsay Ferrier (also of Suburban Turmoil) has a way of making fashion so easy and accessible. For a while I complained that I had no idea what to wear because what I'd see in magazines was so...out there, and out-of-my-league. Lindsay brings it down to earth and gives real examples of things that match...and she takes pictures of herself in the mirror, which shows that she doesn't take herself TOO seriously. PLUS, I was able to meet her at Blissdom! Many of my outfits were inspired by She's Still Got It, so it was awesome to hang out with my inspiration, if even for a few seconds. Here we are, BFF's, natch:


This picture also co-stars my bicep and tricep

Today I surfed on over to She's Still Got It to get my fashion fix. Of course, at that very moment, my toddler came into the room, demanding my attention. He's 22 months, and just doesn't understand, "No honey, mommy has to find out how to look hot." His eager little hands reached up and he said "couch, mama, ELMO! COMPUTER!" I pulled him up with me but didn't feel like watching Elmo, so I turned my visit to my favorite fashion site into a little lesson.

Me: Zeke, what's this?
Zeke: SHOES!!!
Me: GREAT, honey! What's THIS?Zeke: BAG!
Me: Yup! Can you tell me what THIS is?Zeke: HAT!!!
Me: Yeah! Can you say "Fabulous?"
Zeke: Fabbulsssssss Elmo!
Me: No sweet boy, no Elmo right now. What is......THIS?

Zeke: Bag, Mama! BLUE BAG!!! Yeah!
Me: You are a genius!!!
Zeke: Elmo!!
Me: No. No Elmo.
That's right everybody, as if I haven't bragged about it enough, my 22-month-old knows his colors. And I am really proud of the fact that I found a new, interesting way for him to practice them, while still having fun for myself. My son is a genius, and he's DEFINITELY got it:
Flava FLAAAAAAAAV!!!

**All pictures taken from She's Still Got It, except for the one of my kid.**