Friday, March 5, 2010

REAL

The Start

"REAL"
"AUTHENTIC"
"GENUINE"

Buzzwords? Maybe.
I try to be all of these things in all of my relationships, but it is difficult. I have a mask just like everyone else. So here's where I'll start. It's time for me to get real about some things that are going on; things I'm struggling with.

There is a LOT happening. I'm not ready to express all of it, but my blog is like therapy for me in so many ways, so I'll get it out here as soon as I have the words.

But for right now, at this instant, here's my struggle:
I know I am supposed to turn to the Bible and prayer for support and comfort. My faith has always been my source. But I am so weary, I don't even know where to start.

Where should I go? How should I even start praying?

6 comments:

Chitownmez said...

I'm not a religious person. You know that =) But...my first reaction to this post is to say go to your friends. When you don't know where to start, when you're so tired that you can't even think anymore, let them do a little of the thinking for you. When you don't know what to start praying for, let them pray for you. That is what friends are there for.

Or...simply pray a little for yourself. There is nothing bad in that. You are a strong woman. Pray for your strength. You are a peaceful and joyous woman. Pray that it returns to you.

Whatever the case though, know that you are not alone. *hugs*

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

What you just said in this post is perfectly acceptable to say to God. Tell Him exactly how you feel, that you don't know where to start and that you need to feel His presence right now. He won't disappoint and He has shoulders big enough for us to be completely honest with Him. (he knows how we feel anyway)

Your Organizing Guru said...

There have been times in my life where the only prayer I could pray is "God help!" I think He knows the cry of our hearts. Our emotions aren't always true, ya know... Jeremiah said, the heart is deceitful and beyond cure... So just keep living what you know is true. And if you need to talk, I think you know how to find me.
~Julie

vickydublu said...

i'm sorry you're struggling. but, without trying to offer a dumb cliche, i believe that you will be better on the other side if you go through the hard work of obedience. whatever that means for you.

i can relate i think. if you want you can get a peek by reading my blog. i've used it as a little therapy myself! :) (www.vickydublu.wordpress.com)

i'm here for you if you need or want to talk. otherwise, i will praying for you.

hang in there, be HONEST with God and yourself and others if necessary. you are not alone.

Lira said...

Whatever you do, make sure that it will make you happy. God wants you to be happy, and to experience love. That's why we're all here. If you're scared to do what will really and truly make you happy, you have your friends to count on.

Many blessings are going to come to you when you're ready.

Rachel Boldman said...

Thank you everyone...I'm starting to dig my way up to the surface now. I needed your reminders to take care of myself, cry out to God and lean on others when necessary.

Love you!!!

Rachel