Many of you know, but some of you don't...
I am in the middle...or maybe just the beginning (who can really say?) of a "Plan B" situation.
Or is it "Plan C?"
Who the heck knows?
I've spent the last few weeks reading "Plan B," by Pete Wilson, husband of the fabulous Brandi Wilson. He's also a pastor or something like that at some teeny, tiny, unknown church. I kid, I kid.
Ok here's the deal: I've been through many Plans B in the recent past. Let's recap, shall we?
*I had a baby whilst in the middle/end of my Master's degree.
*I had postpartum depression
*My husband, son and I followed God's leading to a whole different state, away from both of our families; thus taking the biggest leap of faith we ever had as a family.
*Six months later, we moved back to Florida
*We are living with my parents
*My husband is currently not in vocational ministry.
The list could go on, and if I could, I'd expand those little asterisks with many bullet points underneath them.
You've been there too, huh?
Don't you feel like you missed God's plan? Like, you made one, just one mistake like moving to another state (with the best intentions, following a clear path from the Lord), and now it's all over. God is now bringing in his "B" team of angels to fix things and get you back on some semblance of the track, while you fumble around, dizzy from the upheaval of it all.
That is absolutely false. And thank you, Pete Wilson, for helping me realize that. Pete's book does not in any way, shape, or form, answer the question on the cover: "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN GOD DOESN'T SHOW UP THE WAY YOU THOUGHT HE WOULD?" Not in the way any of us would like, at least. Upon first hearing about the book and fighting to request it from BookSneeze (the number of folks requesting the book overloaded the server within the first 30 seconds of it's availability), I wanted answers. My bitter heart was ready for vindication and the secret formula for how to make my life work again.
What I found instead was far more valuable: Validation. If nothing else, reading this book made me feel like I was not alone. It reminded me of a concept that was very important to me in the past, but that I had forgotten along the way: God knows. He knows what's happening, what's happened, and He cares. And perhaps the most important piece of all:
I did not screw up God's plan.
Although I have doubted it in the recent past (and am sure to doubt it in the near future), I am absolutely certain that God led us to move out of state and we did the right thing by following. Whatever led us back matters less than the fact that we must continue to trust Him through this time. "Plan B" is still a plan. It's still God's plan. God will use our circumstances whether we like it or not. But if we choose to RECOGNIZE that he is using them, we will be healthier and (more) whole. And you all know that I'm all about mental health on this here blog.
The greatest thing Pete's book has shown me is really very simple:
Did you hear that? It's OKAY. God can turn this Plan B, C, D, Z...into something used for His glory. And how I react to it will not change how much or if He loves me, but it will change my character. I get to determine if it will ruin me and my relationship with the God I love so much, or if it will strengthen my relationship with Him, my husband, and my family.
This can change us. For the better. There is hope.
As a good friend of mine once (or twice or a million times) said, "Thank You Lord."
Now if you want to read some of my other, more objective thoughts on the book, head over here to my Amazon review. I just thought you'd like to hear what it meant to me.
*DISCLOSURE: "Plan B" by Pete Wilson was provided to me for FREE by BookSneeze. All I had to do was agree to review it in a couple of different places. AND be very patient, because Pete broke the internet when it was first made available to us. GOSH, Pete! Sheesh! Oh, and the opinions are my own and not influenced in any way by anyone.