Not Just A....

formspring.me

2011-05-10T21:08:00.001-04:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/NotJustA

I'VE MOVED!!

2011-04-08T20:16:00.001-04:00

If you are not redirected in the next 10 seconds or so, please go to http://lifeafterdaycare.com.

SEE YOU SOON!

Catching Up...

2011-03-24T20:42:00.001-04:00

If you want to know where I've been...you should check out my new blog, Life After Daycare. I've been over there for a while now and I really like the view! Make sure you update your readers, bookmarks, etc.

I look forward to seeing you!

Losing it All

2011-01-14T19:57:00.003-05:00

Yesterday at 5:00 p.m., the house my best friend Amy Hall's family has lived in for the past 13 years, caught on fire. By about 5:10, the home was gone, along with the cars in the driveway, all the family's possessions and two sweet Chihuahuas. Luckily, when Mrs. Hall discovered that the house was on fire (she heard a noise in the garage, went out to check, and found flames), she was able to get her elderly parents and herself to safety before flames shot out of the roof and all of the windows. Mr. Hall was at work and her youngest son, Joey, who I have known since he was a baby (and let the record state that he said "Rachel" before he said "Amy") was not home at the time. Amy is currently a MBA student at Notre Dame and thus, was out of state, as was their middle son, Daniel, who was in North Carolina. Thank GOD that everyone is okay. But there is nothing left.

You have to understand something about this house: It was a HOME. Some of my fondest memories in middle and high school are with this family in their previous house, as well as this one. This home often played host to random teenagers, at all hours of the day and night. Birthday parties, youth group events, you name it, friends were invited over for it. The Halls have done a lot for me, and countless others, just by opening their doors and their arms. They had the attitude that says, "what's one more?!" My heart is breaking that there is nothing left of this place; this great storehouse for love, laughter, tears, and memories.

And you have to understand something about my friendship with Amy. We have been through a LOT together. I have very few friends that know EVERYTHING about me, and she is one of them. And if you knew what she has been through, and what her family has been through, and now...this?! It makes me want to scream and yell with rage over the injustice of it all. If you know me, you know that I am fiercely loyal, especially to that small group of friends. And I would do anything for Amy (or any of you, close friends who are reading this--you know who you are) and her family. Not only because they've done a lot for me, but because I just love them. And if you knew them, you would too.

So here's what I'm asking. Please go here and read their story. Watch the video. Go to other Orlando news websites and look at other pictures. See for yourself. Their house is gone. Then go here to Brantley Balloons and follow the directions to donate to the family. Yes, they have insurance. But come on people, insurance takes time, and they. have. nothing. Their youngest son is a senior in High School, and a star athlete. Do you remember being a senior in High School? Yes, things are just THINGS and I'm sure that as Christians they know this too. But let's face it and be real and get past the preachy stuff. People need things. Can you help financially? Please, if you can, do. If you can't, please leave a comment here with some words of encouragement for the family. A prayer, a verse, anything. I'll give it to them. I'm sure they'll read it here on my blog. Let them know that we're here for them. I'll start it off:

Amy, "Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna go through it together"

2 Corinthians 4:7-12 - But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show us that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

It's Going...

2011-01-13T21:06:00.002-05:00

...that's how I answer when people ask me, "Rachel, how's it going?!" That's a perfect description. Because it's going and I'm following and forward motion is what it's all about.

I was sidelined by some sort of stomach bug on Tuesday, and I'm only just now, on Thursday, starting to feel more like myself. Remember the Atkins Diet? Or South Beach? Where you seriously limit your carbohydrate intake in the hopes of losing a massive amount of weight whilst still eating massive amounts of bacon? Well I'm here to tell you that those diets are just creative, focused ways of limiting calories. Because I ate nothing but toast for 2 days and lost about 4 pounds. That's right folks, all carbs, all the time (although really not too much--I couldn't stomach loaves of toast or anything), and I lost 4 pounds that I didn't mean to, or NEED to lose.

So there you have it, the Boldman diet. Two pieces of toast with a little bit of butter, 3 times a day. Lose yourself some poundage, America!

Second day.

2011-01-04T21:11:00.003-05:00

My second day as a financially contributing member of my family and thus, a productive member of society was......Exhausting.

New Year and Whatnot

2011-01-03T20:38:00.003-05:00

I've been reading lots of blogs lately.

Reading and not writing.

I have no idea why; I think of all sorts of great stuff to write, but I just...don't.

As we all know, unless you've been living in your parents' bomb shelter for the past few days and haven't come out yet; it is now 2011. As the new year is upon us, I could do what many bloggers have done and go back through my old posts, highlighting some of the, well, HIGHLIGHTS of the past year. But I'm going to be honest with you. The highlights were not very high at times. In fact, they were quite low. And I prefer to stay in a little measure of denial and so I choose not to go back through them and give the situations the honor of being clicked-on. There is still a lot of healing to be done, even though it's been a while now. I sincerely, SINCERELY hope that this year, especially the first few months, are better than last year. My husband has some thoughts on the past year and the one coming up here. He's kinder than I am. I guess the truth is, if given the opportunity, I might not be so nice or so discreet.

This January we find ourselves in a small beach town on the east coast of Florida. We are living in an apartment called "The Hiding Place" for a little while, and the title is appropriate because I still find myself wanting to hide and rest. There isn't much resting to be done, because I start work tomorrow, and Zeke started school today. But many, many worries and burdens are alleviated by our living here. And for that, I'm thankful, even if we are in close quarters. It's here that we'll live and grow and laugh and get sick and make our way back to community.

I hope you'll join me here for some of that journey. I'll be writing more regularly in the new year and I'd love to have you. Come "hide" with me.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-22T07:59:00.003-05:00

The Boldman Brain Trust at my Graduation Celebration

Wanna get Wordless? Link up HERE with Angrie Julie!

Lifestyle Family Fitness Blog Cross-Post

2010-12-15T21:17:00.003-05:00

Hi Everyone!

I just thought you'd like to know that waaaay back in August, I was a featured Blogger for Lifestyle Family Fitness, where I teach Body Pump.

Click here to read "Drink the Group Fitness Kool-Aid" by yours truly. It's totally worth your time!

30 Minutes of Awesome

2010-12-09T09:37:00.001-05:00

Last night I had the really cool opportunity through One2One Network, to watch the newest episode of NBC's Community, "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas...BEFORE YOU. Yes, this is the one you've been seeing commercials for; the one that's done in stop-motion claymation, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

It. Was. Hilarious. And warm, and touching, and just really really adorable. This is only the second or third time I've watched the show, but my husband is a regular viewer, and through him I know most of the characters. Really, you don't need much background to understand the episode. There are no back-stories or inside jokes. It's just a lot of fun.

I'd describe it as part "Wizard of Oz," part "Willy Wonka," part "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," and part "Team America: World Police." Only not as...um...questionable as the latter. And a lot of it is about psychotherapy, which, let's just face it, thrills me like nothing else. I have been sworn to secrecy about the episode's contents and Abed's search, but I can tell you that I really enjoyed watching it. Stop-Motion animation fascinates me. I can just sit there and watch it and think about how long it must have taken to do all those cool things and just get lost in the beauty of it.

I hope you're able to watch it TONIGHT at 8p.m. Eastern/7p.m. Central on NBC. While you're watching, why don't you jump online to the Twitter and chat with some of us from One2One Network, as well as the cast of Community! We can talk about the episode and what Christmas means to us. Some cool prizes, like a Sony Bloggie HD video camera and Community Season 1 DVD's, will be given away to some lucky participants. Click HERE for more details. Please sneak away for 30 minutes--say you have to go to the bathroom, and bring your little bedroom TV in there with you. 30 minutes is TOTALLY reasonable for a bathroom break. You'll want to see this episode, trust me. Even if, like me, you haven't seen the show more than a few times, OR at all! There's music, adventure, and I'm telling you, it's funny and adorable. So please, won't you join us?

*DISCLOSURE* I was provided with an advanced "copy" of this episode streaming to this here computer in exchange for my honest opinion about the show. I was given this fun opportunity because I am a member of One2One Network. This review also enters me into a drawing to win the Season 1 DVD of Community and a Sony Bloggie HD video camera, or one of ten $50.00 gift cards. These opinions are mine and mine alone.

Race Recap

2010-12-07T20:34:00.003-05:00

It's taken me a while to get my thoughts together about the OUC Half Marathon last Saturday. It's still hard for me to believe I ran 13.1 miles, let alone process the information that I ran those miles in 2 hours 3 minutes.

I left for the race EXTREMELY early, knowing that I wanted to be at the race site no later than 6:15. I took my chances going toward streets I knew were going to be closed during the race, in order to find parking. I had absolutely no problem getting into the parking garage and found a spot on the third floor! So I braced the cold (it was right around 40 degrees outside!) and left my car, heading in the direction of the starting line. On my way out of the garage a very friendly gentleman from the West Volusia Runners asked me where Lake Eola (where the race was starting) was, and we struck up a conversation all the way to the port-o-potties. We separated there, and I didn't see him again, but I thought about him several times during the race--I hope he did well!

After the port-o-potty stop, I decided I needed to get warm, and praise the Lord...the Panera right by the lake was open! I found a little table, sat down, and just stared into space for a while. I was lucky--because I was there so early I was able to sneak into the bathroom with minimal wait. On my way out of the bathroom I was THRILLED to find my friends Claire and Jen, and Jen's husband Mark, sitting in Panera. I was so relieved--this was a group I wanted to run with, at least for the first several miles, because I knew they'd be going at a fairly quick pace. After a few extra minutes of warmth, we went outside and headed to the starting line. We picked the pace group between 9 and 8 minutes per mile to start out with.

Chatting with my friends kept me calm. That's the only way I can explain it. I am usually SO NERVOUS before a race. But this time, it was like the clock started, and I just casually started running. It was great! It was hard to get into a good pace because of all the people, and trying to stay with the group was a challenge, but we were able to stay together and get into a groove.

The first 1.5 miles was a piece of cake and went by so fast I didn't even realize it. And the miles just kept ticking by. When we passed 3, Claire turned to me and said "Well, now all you have to do is what you did on Thanksgiving, 10 miles." And I smiled, because even at that early stage in the race, I knew I could do it. I had set out with a game plan; I wanted to go at least five miles before taking any water or Gatorade. I had not been training with any water at all, but after last week's 10 miler where I was crazy thirsty by the end, I knew water was going to be necessary. When I hit five miles and realized I had reached my first goal, I was ecstatic. We were having a great time talking and joking around, and the consensus was that we all felt really good. There were many smiles and laughs, and I loved that.

I think it was at that point, or just a little bit before that, that I lost my group. Some of them had slowed down to take water, and I kept going, and just going and going. For a split second, I was scared. I didn't know if I could stay on pace without them, or if I would be able to stay mentally strong without the laughter to distract me. I was going it alone, and I was going fast. I turned up my music, and it felt great to open up on the road. I stuck to my gut feeling that I should take water, so I did. At each water stop starting after five miles, I took a cup of water, slowed down to a brisk walk for five steps and counted them off: one, two, three, four, five; tossed the cup and started running again. It was beautiful. I felt like a well-oiled machine.

The miles ticked by and I kept a mental tally of how many I had left. After five miles the time passed much more slowly. But each time I crossed a new mile, I was amazed that I had made it that far.

When I got to mile nine, and I mean literally as soon as I stepped past the sign, my stomach started to growl. I realized "Holy crap...I'm STARVING." I had to make a quick decision--should I stick with water or go to Gatorade? I hadn't trained with water, so even taking THAT was a risk. But I had no GU, no gels, no gummy snacks, because again, I hadn't trained with them. I decided to take the chance and made the decision to get Gatorade the next time it was offered, knowing that it could totally backfire. I took the cup, took my five steps and sips, threw it to the side, and went on my way. I was fine. The only thing that bothered me was that it seemed to dry my mouth out, but it quelled my hunger, so I just decided to go back to water at the next stop. And let's face it, I only had 4.1 miles to go, so I was almost there!!

At this point we began to run on more brick streets. I had been warned that the brick would be hard on my feet and knees, but I honestly didn't have a big problem with it. And there were sidewalks available that I used if I thought I could go faster.

As I was picking up my pace on one of the brick streets, I noticed two men running in bright neon yellow shirts. The two of them were holding a rope between them. I thought, "what a neat way to stay on pace--hold a rope and just don't let go!" But as I got closer I noticed that the man on the right was talking softly to the other: "Ok, we're on brick now, do you feel that? There's a little dip coming up..." The man on the left was blind. And he was running a half-marathon. He couldn't see the brick, the trees, the beautiful historic Orlando homes, or the other people around him. But he was running. That moment was such an inspiration to me and really kept me going through the rest of the race.

The last 3.1 miles were the longest. And to my knowledge, for at least the last two miles, there were no mile markers. I had been mentally and physically strong up to this point, and I had to fight just a little bit to keep it up and not let myself break down. Then I started to see the elite runners walking back to cheer us on. And I knew--it was almost over. As I rounded the corner onto the last street, "Awake My Soul" by Mumford and Sons came on my iPod. It's a song that means SO MUCH to me, and I had used it the day before to help tell my story in my final presentation for graduate school. I was flooded with emotion and adrenaline, and pushed my hardest. At this point I knew exactly where I was, because I am familiar with downtown Orlando, so I was talking my way through it as I passed buildings and streets.

I can't describe my feelings as I sped up and sprinted to the finish. There were tears in my eyes as I thanked the runners who had come back. I crossed the finish line with my arms in the air, partly out of triumph, partly out of praise to God for giving me a strong body and mind to get through the race. The tears were falling as I walked toward an open area to stretch and text message my husband, who was waiting for me somewhere at the crowded finish line. When he smiled and said "I'm proud of you," I BEAMED. I'm proud of me, too. I felt great. I felt great through the whole race. In just a couple of months I more than doubled the distance I was able to run, and ran a race, finishing in two hours and three minutes. Like I said, it's still hard for me to believe. My friends finished about a minute behind me, SMASHING Jen's goal to finish in 2:05, which would be a new PR for her.

Now I'm left wondering, what's next?! I feel like I can do ANYTHING.

The Accidental Half

2010-12-07T09:08:00.000-05:00

On December 4, 2010, I accidentally ran in the OUC Half-Marathon in Orlando, FL. I stumbled upon a start line, and just said "Hmm. I'm not doing anything today; I certainly don't have any motherly responsibilities to take care of *cough cough* so I guess I'll run 13.1 miles! Here I go! Wheee!" Nah, it wasn't THAT kind of accident, but I didn't start out with OUC as my goal, for sure. I guess I'll start at the beginning.

I started running when I stopped dancing, around 2006. I ran with a friend, we ran a couple of 5K's, we felt super-accomplished, and then I stopped running with any sort of purpose or intention and ran every once in a while for fitness, on a treadmill, especially after training to teach Body Pump. Cardio is great in combination with strength training. Don't take my word for it, talk to my six-pack. ANYWAY, I started running seriously again about 2 weeks before we moved back to Florida from Missouri, as I had enrolled in a "Couch Potato to 5K" training program. I wasn't REALLY a couch potato, but I wanted to get back to the basics of running technique and work on improving my time.

When we moved back to Florida, I started running again for fitness, again on the treadmill or briefly outside. Throughout this whole process I never found running to be incredibly difficult, but I always wanted to do it better. So I entered some 5K races. My time at the first one, in the heat of the summer, was 28:00. The next one was 26:37, and the third? 26:00.

Ambitiously, I thought, "Now I'll go for a 10K," and was pretty nervous about SIX WHOLE MILES. I got a training program off the internet, and started on my way. Meanwhile, a group of soon-to-be friends was running three mornings a week, starting at our gym, and gradually adding mileage depending on their race goals. I thought, "I'm too slow for them, I'm sure they're going really fast and really far." Well one day I got lonely and decided to join them, tossing aside my formal training program, with the knowledge in the back of my brain that there was something more for me out there. They accepted me into their fold, and I set out on my first "long" run--FOUR WHOLE MILES. The next week we did FIVE. Then SIX. And then I realized that I'd done it. I'd completed just about 10K, without the training program. AND I had a scheduling conflict and couldn't even run in the 10K. I skipped a week due to illness, and when I found out that my crew had run 8 miles, I was upset. I wanted to accomplish that, too! I kindly asked if they would do 8 the next week with me, and they were more than happy to push me to my goal. The next week, we did TEN. TEN WHOLE MILES. At that point I realized that it was done. The decision was made for me (although I didn't actually register for the race until about 4 days prior), I had trained for a Half-Marathon, completely on accident.

Oops, my bad.

And how did the race go?

If you follow me on Twitter, you already know. But if you want to know the details, you'll have to come back tomorrow and find out.

Holiday Gifts Part 2

2010-12-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

I hope you enjoyed reading about this great gift for the "staff" people in your life.

But what about the rest of them? The kids, the adults, the pets? I personally don't get presents for people's pets but maybe you do. *cough cough*nutjob*cough cough*

If you're like me, and your family contains a lot of people, you have a lot of gifts to buy. Even paring it down to "just kids" is a challenge because most for me, most of those people are kids. So far I haven't pared it down that far, but I have taken it down to "just immediate family." Unfortunately that means I don't usually buy presents for cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Only mine and my husband's parents and siblings. And sometimes the grandparents. They most often at least get a card with a cute picture in it. It kills me to not buy presents for EVERYONE, but it's just not possible right now. So because of the sheer number of people I am buying for, I find it necessary and helpful to stick to a budget. For me, that is a set dollar amount for each person. If you do a "couple's" gift, like a combined gift for mom and dad, then that dollar amount gets doubled for the gift--but if you can keep it within the "singles" dollar amount, that's great!

The set dollar amount is why Black Friday shopping is absolutely necessary for me. I don't have to go crazy with the doorbusters....usually...but it's imperative that I find some pretty sweet deals in order to stay on budget. This year Old Navy was my saving grace. I was able to pick up gifts for all the kids, plus an adult or two, within my budgeted per-person price point. Later, I moved on to J.C. Penney and Barnes and Noble, where I also nabbed some great deals, using coupons to score even more bargains.

So really, I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping. Since Black Friday is over and I'm not QUITE done yet, you might be wondering how I'm going to stick to my budget AFTER the doors have been busted. Here are a few ideas, for me and you, on how to get some great after-black-friday-and-cyber-monday prices:

1. Amazon.com. Every day they are slashing prices on different products. You just have to watch. I suggest "pre-shopping," which is what I do in stores a lot, too. Go onto the site, scope out the product you want, and then wait a couple of days. If it doesn't go on sale for 3 days, go ahead and buy it. OR wait it out! If you have time before NEEDING to ship something, wait to your little heart's content. Also, make sure you sign up for a free trial of Amazon Prime, which will get you free shipping! After your free trial is up there's a charge for it, but depending on how hooked you are after your Amazon shopping experience, it may be worth it. If you have a student email account (ending in .edu) you get a membership for free!!!

2. Kohl's. Y'all know Kohl's always has everything on sale. I have my own personal thoughts on that, but I'll save them for a rainy day. I find it difficult to sort through the racks of the sale items, so I usually find coupons online by Google searching for "Kohl's Printable Coupons" and combine that with other sales to make better deals. Also, they usually have some sort of $5.00 item at the front of the door; right now it's Dr. Seuss books and stuffed animals, and that might be an easy way to get some shopping done.

3. Book stores. Any book store is going to have a "Bargain Books" shelf. If you look hard enough, you can find something for everyone. Keep your smart phone handy so when you come across something you THINK someone might like but you're not sure, you can do a quick Google search. For example, "Was Henry Kissinger a Democrat?" "Yes." "Okay, not a good book for Dad. Let's find a Republican bargain book."

4. iPhone Apps. I'm not sure about other smart phones, but there are a few apps for the iPhone that let you take a picture of any item's bar code and it will tell you if there are any local retailers or online retailers that sell the product for cheaper. I always feel like I'm cheating when I'm using my app, but I have more often than not put the item down and headed elsewhere for it.

Alrighty, there you have them. My four biggest tips for Holiday gifts. These are the tips I'm using to get me through the rest of my Christmas shopping. Do you have any more suggestions?

What is your budget this year? How do you plan to stay within those confines?

This little boy...

2010-12-03T19:27:00.002-05:00

...Is CLEARLY completely engrossed in the movie "Cars." He didn't even notice I had taken his picture.

What a cutie, huh?!

Holiday Gifts, Part 1

2010-11-22T21:00:00.002-05:00

Alright folks, this Friday is BLACK FRIDAY. When I worked in retail, I thought it was aptly named because every retail worker LOATHED it like the plague. Alas, that's not the reason this Friday is called Black...even though retail workers, and quite possibly you, still loathe it.

There's just one problem. In order to get sweet $5 t-shirts for your child's entire day-care staff, thus staying within a decent budget, you simply MUST go to Old Navy at an unholy hour to snag them for the crew. Or DO you?

I've found an awesome alternative to the Black Friday craze that can take care of an entire staff in one shot, and is sure to delight the whole bunch. You can order it online. No stores necessary.

Mrs. Prindables! I reviewed one of their apples this Spring and I was thoroughly delighted with it. To help get me in the holiday spirit, they sent me another one, the Dark Chocolate Delight.

Again, it held up RIDICULOUSLY well on the trip down to Florida, and was delivered in a HUGE box, insulated with much bubble wrap and several cold packs. Here's my package on the "kitchen" table. Oh, and roses are not included in the purchase price--those are from my husband. :)
The Mrs. Prindable's purple box is gorgeous, and makes for a breathtaking presentation.And then you open the box and see the ENORMOUS, over two-pound treat

It's pretty ridiculous.

For my taste test of the Dark Chocolate Delight apple, I chose my co-"workers" at my internship; at a local hospital. They were more than happy to oblige.

One drawback to using this as a "corporate" gift--your recipients will need a very large knife to cut their ginormous apple. If they're easily able to smuggle a large kitchen knife into the workplace, then great. As you can see, I was able to do this very thing.

We sliced the apple into 10 pieces. It was a little bit messy, because the chocolate on the outside is hard. But I was totally okay with "taking care of" the little crumbs.

The consensus? The loved it. Absolutely loved it. Mrs. Prindables is not kidding when they say this apple can feed 8-10 people. We had 8 people partaking in the apple festivities, and 2 had seconds. The dark chocolate was delicious, but the caramel was the big hit. It was, as one of my co-"workers" said, "GOOEY." It was just the right amount of salty to pair with the tangy/sweet Granny Smith apple, and to balance out the sweet/bitter dark chocolate. They were also pleasantly surprised, as I was the last time I reviewed this tasty treat, that the apple was FRESH. It was crisp, juicy, and did not taste like it had been in my indoor mailbox for 3 days, then my refrigerator for a few more.

The apples are about $22.95, but if you think about all that you're getting, it's not a bad price at all. AND let's say you're planning on getting a gift for your child's day care or preschool teacher and staff anyway...$22.95 is a great price to split amongst those people. If you were getting them individual gifts, you'd easily spend at least $35.00. Why not get them this amazing gift?

And here's something cool. Rue La La is offering these apples starting at $15.00! Just go to Rue La La, and use "Boston" as your location. Scroll down and click on the "Mrs. Prindables" banner, and voila! Chocolate Apple Bliss. For cheap. I love cheap. And psssst...I hear if you sign up using that link I just gave you, you get a credit. Just sayin.' While you're at Rue La La, check out their other boutiques. They offer great designer swag at a deep discount. I just bought Zeke some kickin' designer shoes for $20.00!

Let me know in the comments what you're getting your staff members--your teachers, co-workers, church groups, etc.

And check back with me after Black Friday to see how I shopped on the cheap. I love cheap. Have I mentioned that?!

**YO, FTC, PEEP THIS: I received a "Dark Chocolate Delight" Jumbo Apple for my very own for free from Mrs. Prindables. The opinions expressed in this review are my own. It was delicious, I assure you.**

What do you think?!

2010-11-11T10:54:00.002-05:00

Half Marathon. December 4, 2010. Your thoughts?

We've been training hard.

200th Post!

2010-11-02T11:00:00.000-04:00

This, my friends, is my TWO-HUNDREDTH post on this here blog!

I think it's only appropriate to celebrate this monumentous occasion by 1., making up words like monumentous, and 2., celebrating my complete, total, utter lack of influence in social media.

I've been "hearing" a lot about the website Klout on Twitter lately, well, as much as you can HEAR things on Twitter; I guess I've been SEEING a lot about it on Twitter. ANYWAY, it's a website that measures your overall influence on the interwebs. If you want to know some particulars about how they measure, click here. It's actually pretty interesting.

According to Klout, I pretty much have ZERO influence. Like, the cat who scratches at my roof every morning at 4:00 has more influence than me. My Klout score is....*drumroll please*....

SIX.

It seems that in April of 2010, my score was a whopping 30, which is a lot better than SIX. I have declined in interestingness over the months, it seems.

And I've got bad news for you, my engaged audience. According to Klout, YOUR level of influence is ONE. hahahahaha sucks to be you!!!! Just kidding. No, I'm not. Look at your Klout score, now look at mine. Now back at yours, now back at mine.

I feel like I'm at a middle school dance and "I Swear" just came on and all the cool kids paired up to dance at an arm's length and maybe sweat on each other. Now I'm huddled in the bathroom crying.

Someone send the P.E. teacher in to check on me, ok?!

Pumpkin Patches Through The Years

2010-10-31T21:33:00.004-04:00

October 2008 in Longwood, FL

October 2009 somewhere near Joplin, MO
yes, I'm serious, I have no idea where this was taken

October, 2010 Longwood, FL (same pumpkin patch as 2008)

My, how time FLIES

A Comment

2010-10-26T11:52:00.001-04:00

I posted this comment in response to Amber's post about Claiming a New Name. I really wanted to post it here.

My name is Rachel. Little Lamb. I hated my name for a long time, because who wants to be named after a farm animal? But then, when I was a senior in High School, I had to analyze this poem, and ironically at the same time was singing the words set to music in my voice lessons. And then my name came to mean SO MUCH to me.

“The Lamb” by William Blake
Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bid thee feed,
By the stream and o’er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?

Little Lamb, I’ll tell thee,
Little Lamb, I’ll tell thee.
He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a Lamb.
He is meek, and He is mild;
He became a little child.
I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by His name.
Little Lamb, God bless thee!
Little Lamb, God bless thee!

So my NEW name is the same name, the name the Lord audibly told my mother I would be. It just means something new to me.

Lots of numbers

2010-10-16T15:30:00.003-04:00

We are gearing up for our EIGHTH move as a married couple.

We've only been married FOUR years.

If I let them, these facts will grab hold of my every limb, start swirling and overwhelm me, taking me down with them.

You see, approximately SEVEN days after we signed a lease and moved into an adorable, moderately priced house, thus moving out of my parents' house and out on our own into the wild blue yonder, my husband was offered a job approximately 45 miles away in Daytona Beach. The lease we signed was for ONE year. Which meant, at the point we officially accepted the job, we had ELEVEN months left. The day Josh got the job was the day I stopped unpacking, which means we still have FOUR MILLION boxes in various states of unpacked-ness in our house.

The good news is that whenever we are ready, we can begin advertising that our house is up for rent again, and be released from our remaining HOWEVERMANY months there are left on our lease as soon as someone else can fill it. The bad news is that we haven't started that process because I still have about EIGHT weeks left of my internship here in Orlando. So Josh will commute for a while. It's not that bad...it takes the same amount of time to get up there as it does to get to downtown Orlando because of traffic/lack of traffic. It means that we'll be without him on Wednesday and Saturday nights, but I think with a little ice cream I can convince Zeke that it's alright.

The good-er news is that my husband is back in ministry. This is a full-time youth-pastor position that includes responsibilities at a school, and he is in love. We were meant to take time away--I didn't think it would only be SIX months, but God doesn't tend to give me much warning about these sorts of things. He figures it's better for me to be surprised. So here we go, head-over-feet-first, ready to take on a new challenge. Yes, it involves many more transitions and many more unknowns, which I am not known to deal well with, but there are a few things I do know:

I have ONE happy husband, which makes me ONE happy wife.
I have ONE amazing toddler who adapts to his environment easily.
I have ONE really awesome father in heaven who will take care of us and love me even when I'm sick of all this transition.

t-minus 3 days and counting...

2010-10-07T11:50:00.002-04:00

On Saturday I will depart Orlando in my massive '01 Buick Lesabre to go to Miami for a few days, where I will do something extremely cool. Extremely cool and just a little bit nerdy.

On Sunday I will don a new "hat." I will be a PRESENTER at the Florida Counseling Association's annual state conference.

If you follow me on Twitter, you already know that my presentation "Perinatal Death and Bereavement: Implications for the Counseling Profession" was accepted as a 90 minute "breakout session" at this conference.

Did I mention that I am STILL A STUDENT? Yes, I, as a student, was accepted to speak at a conference. I'm trying to tell myself that it's not; but really, it IS a BIG DEAL. To me, at least.

I've been out of commission for a while now (for about 6 months my posts have been infrequent at best, and I've all but abandoned "Operation KidConnect," the way cool project for which Hallmark sent me some awesome cards...and really, I'd love to get it going again but let's face it. I had fewer blog readers on my "Operation KidConnect" days than I did all week. What's up with that? Aaaaaaaanyway.) because of school, but more recently because I've been so busy preparing for this presentation. I'm in obsessive list-writing mode, with a pad of paper by my side of the bed, and I wake up at all hours of the night, grab a pen and add to my list of "things to pack":
*underwear (really? do I have to list this? I mean, DUH)
*face wash (yeah, this is a legitimate "wake up in the middle of the night" item because I have forgotten it)
*belts
*3 shirts
*3 pairs of pants
...and then I write out every single outfit I am going to wear for the entire conference.

I'm not kidding. Right now my list-making is officially a compulsion.

ANYWAY, back to the conference. I'm speaking on Sunday afternoon, and I'm terrified. When I think about it, I get paralyzed for a split second. But I'm just going to get up there and treat it as a performance. No, I will not be picturing the audience in their underwear.

I hope to leave the conference with a renewed sense of confidence in my intelligence and competence as a counselor....and a job. These things are great for networking, I hear.

I'll let you all know how it goes!

Heathen Sunday

2010-09-26T15:12:00.002-04:00

This morning, we skipped church. It will be the last Sunday we'll be able to have that luxury for a while. SO, we took the opportunity to engage in some debauchery like this:

And this.....

And then when he said "Want to go very higher, daddy!"...we did!

And this is what happened:

We got "high" this Sunday and loved every minute of it. Also, we fed the ducks and swans a whole bag of hot dog buns. The deadly sin of gluttony was indulged as Zeke yelled "EAT IT, Swan! EAT IT Pigeon! EAT IT, ducky!" And who were they to resist the temptation (and direct order from their superior)?!

Why we were playing, another boy about Zeke's age pulled down his pants under the 2-5 year old play structure and peed. Right there in front of God and everyone, just...peed.

We decided it was time to go. Hooray for heathen Sundays!

My Big Night Out

2010-09-20T21:14:00.002-04:00

On Saturday I had the rare opportunity to participate in a GNO. No, that's not an embarrassing appointment that involves stirrups. In case you're not cool enough to know *ahem* GNO stands for "Girls Night Out," of course. I'm not usually invited to such events, but this time, it was my night to shine! Well, my night to celebrate a friend's birthday, at least.

Prior to leaving the house, I consulted my closest fashion adviser, Melissa of "A Working Mom's Closet" That's right y'all, I KNOW her! This is the picture I tweeted at her:

I was so excited to go I didn't wait for her reply, but she ended up giving me some great tips on what accessories might go well with this ensemble.

I had a blast, and I felt super confident. Sometimes you just need to run ideas by a friend, you know? All hail the GNO!

The Hardest Job I Have Ever Done....

2010-09-17T13:58:00.002-04:00

....was most definitely NOT "Stay At Home Mom"

I hear the gasps from the mom-blogosphere. I hear the gnashing of teeth, the screeching, I even hear the finger pointing (yes, I can hear fingers pointing) and screams of "TRAITOR!"

I'm about to lose my mom-card for it, but I don't take that statement back. I'm dead serious. Being a stay at home mom was CAKE compared to what I'm going through right now, and y'all know how much I love cake.

Yes, I know, being a stay-at-home mom is a challenge, to say the least. Remember, I was there once. And it was bliss. Wonderful, blissful...bliss. Only I didn't realize it at the time. My friend Erin's post about loving her relaxed schedule reminded me how challenging being a stay-at-home mom is, AND how much I miss it, as well as making me realize that what I'm doing right now is infinitely harder.

Would you like a peek into my day? You don't care? Oh well, I want to show you. It's time to peel back the curtain on a day in the life of A WORKING MOM, the hardest job I have EVER had:
4:30 a.m.: Wake up, get ready to go to the gym. Since I don't stay home anymore, I can't go during the day, and the evening is out because I've got a 2 year old to take care of and dinner to "cook" (if you count Hamburger Helper as cooking)

5:00 a.m.: I'm at the gym, running or doing some other hellish thing.

5:30 a.m.: I'm in a class, either spinning or BodyPump.

6:00 a.m.: I leave the class early. I hate doing that, but I've got to shower and get ready for the day in the locker room. I have to be back home by....

6:30 a.m.: Run in the door, where my husband has already woken up our son. Zeke is sitting at the table with messy hair, sleepy eyes, and is downing a cereal bar.

6:45 a.m.: Leave the house

6:55 a.m.: Drop Zeke off at Day Care. He loves it there, and he gets his full breakfast once he arrives. Don't get your undies in a bunch, he eats more than a cereal bar.

7:00 a.m.: Back on the road, on our way to downtown Orlando.

7:30 a.m.: Drop my husband off at work

7:45 a.m.: Arrive at my "work," which is actually an internship that I don't get paid for, but love with every fiber of my being.

8:30 a.m.: Morning meeting. After this meeting, the day "officially" gets started for me.

2:00-4:00 p.m.: Finish for the day. After I finish, I can do errands around downtown or the nearby area, but I have to stay around the general vicinity. Sometimes I go to Panera and work on school stuff, but most often, I just end up staying and working until...

5:30 p.m.: Pick up Josh at his job

5:35 p.m.: Back on the road

6:05 p.m.: Pick Zeke up at day care and toss him (gently) in the car

6:15 p.m.: Arrive at home.

Here's where it varies. On NORMAL days, this is how it goes:
6:20 p.m.: Start cooking dinner

6:45 p.m.: Eat dinner with the slowest-eating toddler on the planet

7:20 p.m.: Brush Zeke's teeth, get his pajamas on, or if he's lucky, give him a bath

7:30 p.m.: Zeke in bed

AFTER 7:30 p.m.: Do dishes, laundry, clean, make lunches for the next day.

On days where I HAVE CLASS, this is how it goes:
6:15 p.m.: Drop Zeke and Josh off in the driveway and peel out onto the interstate.

7:00 p.m.: Arrive in Deland, FL for my class.

9:00 p.m.: Class is over

9:45 p.m.: Arrive home, do dishes, laundry, clean, make lunches for the next day.

So there you have it. I will not be one of THOSE mom bloggers and sigh and say in a sweet voice, "I wouldn't trade it for the world" or anything lame like that. Because, the truth is, I WOULD trade it. I would trade it for lots of things (except my internship, because I really like that except for the "for free" part). Would you like to make an offer?

My schedule is crazy, and I am exhausted. You?

Shout Outs!

2010-09-15T21:48:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to my top referral sites this past week. All that means is that some of you found my blog through these other sites! I'm honored that you found me through them because these peeps are AMAZING:

Kingdom First Mom
Reluctant Entertainer
Angry Julie
Google (that's right, if you Googled me, I know about it)

Thanks, y'all!

Kisses!

Awake My Soul

2010-09-06T13:41:00.002-04:00

Literally every day I ask myself why Jesus chooses to take babies and little children, as well as all the otherwise defenseless ones, to be with Him. It's something I won't understand on this side of heaven...and I don't want to understand. The mystery makes my job easier.

AWAKE MY SOUL
Mumford & Sons

How fickle my heart
and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find
any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles
on things I don't know
This weakness I feel
I must finally show

Lend me your hand
and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart
and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes
I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep,
totally free

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life
In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

The One Where I'm on the News

2010-09-03T12:33:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Zeke and I were minding our own business, running around at a local Orlando park, waiting for Josh to get out of work, when all of a sudden, Ryan Hughes from WFTV Channel 9 asked if he could interview me on camera for a news story.

ME???!! It took me about .2 seconds to say "Sure!" I didn't have time to call my hair and makeup people, but I thought I looked pretty good, and the camera guy said I could keep my sunglasses on. Maybe because I didn't have any makeup on. Hmmm. ANYWAY....

As you may already know, I love the camera. And I think the camera loves me. See for yourself; my 2 seconds (literally, it's about 2 seconds) of fame is right here for your viewing pleasure.

The subject matter is extraordinarily disturbing, but I think I brought a little "fabulous" to the piece, don't you? What? What's that? You're wondering where my child was during my on-camera debut? I have no idea. Probably running around terrorizing swans or something. JUST kidding, he was holding my hand the whole time and even said "hi" to the camera man and reporter after we were done. He was totally charming. But really, I was the star.

Thanks, WFTV for my big break! And Ryan Hughes, if you're reading, you have really nice teeth.

Just sayin'.

In which I get photobombed by @herbadmother

2010-08-16T16:26:00.003-04:00

With all the talk about Blogging conferences, I thought I should chime in. Not so much because I have anything to say, but more because I just can't stand to be (read: FEEL) left out. So here is a picture from Blissdom 2010:

This is what you would call a "photobomb", no?

Here I was, just trying to take a picture with Tanis and her sparkle stick, when Catherine Connors, of HerBadMother jumps in there with the classic "L." Thanks! I feel special! And totally not left out! :)

Thanks, ladies, for letting me into your world for a while. You two are some of my favorite Canadians. If you, dear reader, are unfamiliar with these two, make sure you click those linkies up there. They've got great stories and they tell them well. Please also read about Tutus for Tanner. The community that has rallied around this little boy is amazing. Amazing and quite possibly unstoppable.

And she was on CNN, y'all!

Ok I'm done.

Attention Publix Shoppers!

2010-08-15T13:22:00.002-04:00

Hi frugal friends, I'm hoping you can shed some light on something for me.

Today, my local Publix told me that they accept one Internet Coupon (IC) per product. Now, to me, that means that if I have three $1.00 off Prego Sauce coupons, for example, that I can use one of those ICs per jar of sauce, meaning that I can get three Prego sauce jars and each of them will be $1.00 off. They are saying that regardless of the number of items and number of coupons you have, you can only use ONE IC per product: thus, I can only use ONE $1.00 off coupon on my three jars of sauce, even though I have three coupons and three jars of sauce. They are manufacturer's coupons. Why can't I use one coupon per product? Now, what you CAN do is do each of those products in a new transaction and use each coupon per jar of sauce, you just can't do it in one transaction.

Eventually, after explaining to the manager what I wanted to do (and him looking at me like I was trying to steal from his store when I told him I wanted to use a coupon on a BOGO offer) for about 5 minutes, he let the cashier use my extra coupons. I had VERY carefully matched up my products and coupons.

Does that make ANY sense to anyone out there? Are other Publix stores doing this? Have you run into this at your store?

Halp!

Got it.

2010-08-13T20:39:00.003-04:00

Today at "work," (well really, we were at lunch), I started to get that feeling. You know, the cold pricklies and sweat and overall tummy...yuck. As soon as I recognized it, I made the executive decision to go home. All my "co-workers" know that my son and husband have been sick over the past few days and I have been sanitizing everything I touch in the office. They were prepared. I wasn't.

I made it home in a daze, but I made it. I got myself straight into bed and slept for about an hour. The following few hours were rough, but right now it is 8:42 p.m., I haven't thrown up, and I feel almost normal. My piece of toast and sips of Gatorade have, so far, been successful, and I think I'm back on track.

The virus that has ripped through my house? I got it. But so far, it hasn't gotten me.

Crud: 2 Boldmans: 1

Blast from the Past

2010-08-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

**Today I'm re-posting one of my most popular blog posts from the past few years. On my stat counter, the most searched for phrase is some variant of "You live and learn and then get Luvs," which lands you to this post right here. Today I'm re-posting it because I read it again and it made me laugh. I hope it makes you at least giggle. Maybe chortle. Just don't roll your eyes, ok?**

"Live and Learn and Then Get Luvs"
....and then probably go back to using Huggies.

I'm turning into a bit of a diaper snob. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I have about a million $1.00-$1.50 off coupons for Huggies diapers. Some of them expire later this month, while others expire in 2009. I typically buy diapers every week, except for the past few weeks, as my son has just grown into the size 2 JUMBO-GINORMOUS pack I was given at my baby shower. So last week the time came to buy diapers, and I had my Huggies coupon in hand, and I marched my happy little butt up to the diaper aisle at Wal-Mart. There they were, Huggies size 2, with Winnie the Pooh characters and all sorts of fluffy cuddle-weave-y stuff all over them. $9.99, as expected. And then, of course, I had my coupon. Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to the left, where I saw LUVS brand diapers, for $7.50. And there's 50 of them in a pack! Suddenly, I was torn between two diaper brands. I stood there for, no lie, about five whole minutes, deciding whether or not I should take a chance and get the LUVS diapers this week. I had this horrible anxious feeling in my chest, like I was about to be a bad mother for switching diapers on my son. I was reassured by that voice inside my head--no, not THAT one--the one that said "You live and learn, and then get LUVS." That's right, I was ultimately swayed by their advertising--good job, LUVS PR reps! Your college degrees earned you a new customer! So now I've lived and learned, I got LUVS, and I'm not all that thrilled with them. Here's why:

1. LUVS have a scent. It's not an unpleasant scent, but it is a scent, nonetheless. It's kind of a baby powder-y sort of smell.

2. They are extremely thin. Yes, they have the "leak lock core" or something like that, but they feel like tissue paper.

3. When my son pees the gallons that he does every day, the diapers end up feeling like a water balloon. They're all sloshy. Huggies just feel heavier. You can't actually feel the liquid in them.

4. Let's talk poop. If you've ever nursed a child or changed a nursed child's diaper, you know that their poop is the consistency of mustard when it's at its most solid. Other times, it's extremely liquid, and sometimes it's even gel-like. Sorry, I know that's gross. Being so thin, and only really absorbing ACTUAL liquid, LUVS doesn't handle the poop very well. Huggies at least absorbs it. I wonder if LUVS work better for formula fed babies, who have a more solid, sticky poop. Okay, no more poop.

5. LUVS have sticky tabs rather than Velcro. I like the Huggies Velcro tabs.

6. Because they are so thin, LUVS are loud. When Zeke moves, it sounds like he is rolling around in tissue paper.

So there you have it--I'm not sure if I'll stick with LUVS or if I'll go back to Huggies. The fact that LUVS are at least $1.00 less than Huggies, even when I have a coupon, is a major selling point. For now, they're all I've got. So I have to avert my eyes when I'm changing Zeke and he looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes as if to say, "Why did you switch my diaper brand, mom?! I thought we had a good thing going with Winnie the Pooh!" Oh, the guilt.

Something Came Up

2010-08-09T12:16:00.002-04:00

Sunday morning was fairly normal. We had moved all of our personal possessions out of storage and into our new rental house the day before; so maybe we were a little tired. Zeke didn't eat all of his waffles for breakfast but I didn't think much of it because he ate well the night before. He played and laughed and tickled with Daddy, and then we went to church.

When we picked Zeke up from children's church, he was more clingy than normal, but that wasn't unusual because he gets overwhelmed very easily and there were MANY more children than usual. Our little family, under the cover of a nice church member's huge umbrella, braved the rain to get into the car and drive to our new home. I turned around to strap Zeke into his car seat, and he looked at me with wide eyes, looking as if he was about to cry. I asked, "Zeke honey, what's wrong? Are you sad?" He nodded "yes" and said he was wet (we all were from the torrential downpour) and asked "Too wet. Mommy wipe it?" and pointed to his arm. So I did. I wiped the rain off my little boy's arms and legs and it seemed that he perked up.

Driving through the flooded streets of downtown Orlando, we were discussing where to go for lunch and formulating a plan to put Zeke down early for his nap based on the continual yawning coming from the back seat. We got onto the interstate and decided to take a different exit, a couple of miles away from our usual one, that would be closer to our new house. Zeke started to cough, and we didn't think anything of it because he had an allergy cough for about a week and we hadn't given him his medicine. Then he started mumbling. Red flags went up for Josh and I so I turned around and asked him what was wrong. A couple coughs and more mumbling. So I asked again, "Bubba, what's wrong?" To which he said, "My tummy's full. Please to kiss it, mommy?" So I kissed my fingers and touched his belly. The look on his face was not good. I turned to Josh--"Is he going to..."

Two coughs, I turn back to him and try to get my lunch bag to his mouth but it's too late.

He vomited.

All. Over.

All over himself and his car seat. He was holding his special stuffed animal, Harvey Hamel the Camel, who seemed unscathed. The vomit ran down through the creases in his car seat onto the seat of the car and...yuck.

Then he began to cry. "Wipe it, mama!!!" Please picture this with me. I am turned completely around in the front passenger seat, wiping vomit off of my son's bare arms, legs, and clothing. And then I realize, "what am I going to do with the wipes now that they've got vomit all over them?" With deft precision I reach into the door's pocket and get an old Ziploc bag (you know you have a stash of them from car snack-time, too). So now I am turned completely around in my seat wiping vomit off of my son and tossing the vomitous wipes into an old sandwich baggie. It was quite a sight. We were able to get to the next exit, which was our old exit, and get to my parents' house.

It was disgusting.

You could say that our original plans to finish moving out of my parents' house because, well, something came up.

Today

2010-08-06T14:37:00.002-04:00

I took today off from "work."

Why? Because tomorrow my husband and I will be making our SEVENTH move as a married couple....and I wanted to relax a little bit. This time we are hoping it will be much easier than the last six, because all of our stuff is in storage. That, and we're moving it from a storage unit that is about a quarter mile away from the house we're renting. Not like last time, when as you might recall, we had to do this:
I can't find the picture, but some of you may remember that our stuff BARELY fit. Thanks to the genius of some great men from our church, including the late Andy Higgins, we were able to get on the road in record time.

And then we came back six months later. And had to pack another truck, this one slightly bigger, with minimal help (I'll write more on that later this week).

I still don't know how I feel about our journey thus far, but it's nice to know that tomorrow I will have my stuff back. If I've learned anything throughout this (still very young) marriage and our SEVEN moves, it's that stuff is just stuff. But in the past four months, I've realized that stuff that's yours and UNIQUELY yours makes you feel more comfortable, more at ease, and less anxious.

So here's to moving our stuff back into a place we can call "home."

And to my co-workers: Yes, my diffuser will be unearthed ASAP. You won't have to look at my frizzy fuzzy hair for much longer.

I'm so happy I could cry.

Quick Survey

2010-08-04T09:40:00.001-04:00

Hey y'all,

Just a quick survey for muh peeps...

Would you be interested in a weekly Winn Dixie Coupon Match-Up? Cause I want to do one.

Just wondering,

Me.

A Declaration

2010-07-29T16:55:00.002-04:00

I hereby declare the Boldman Family's INDEPENDENCE!

We found a cute little house near where we are currently living, and have decided to put down a deposit and application to rent it.

We are so super excited, and I can't wait to show you pictures! I can't wait to make it "my own."

Will you follow me on the journey? I'd love to keep you updated!

In the meantime, if you have any burning questions you'd like to ask me, you can catch up with me on Formspring! My user name is NotJustA. Feel free to post a question to me and sign up to be notified by email when I answer!

Someone I know

2010-07-13T15:20:00.003-04:00

I just want to draw attention to someone I am proud to say I know, and whom I am glad to call a friend.

She is working on her "40 x 40" list. 40 things she wants to do before the big four-oh.

Claire is absolutely amazing, and I hope to come out on the other side of adversity HALF as well as she has.

Join Claire on her journey here. You should also check out this amazing organization, where she is the executive director. Oh, and check out this post...cause there's a picture of me and my husband! Holla!!!

What's going on?

2010-07-09T10:57:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone...

Just checking in to see who's still with me.

I've been absent and I hate it. I really enjoy writing and connecting and I just haven't been able to do that lately.

The bottom line is, hubby and I are working EXTREMELY hard to get out on our own. The only problem is, I only get paid in class credit (who knew that they don't take that as currency at Chick Fil A?) and the occasional piece of cake for a co-worker's baby shower.

We're working our butts off, and it seems like we're not getting anywhere. At least, it seems that way to me. I think my husband has a better "big picture" view than me right now, which is ironic because this time last year I was the one making long-range plans. Now I've got a thousand-yard-stare and can't make a solid decision to save my life.

Ever been there?

States

2010-06-30T17:15:00.002-04:00

I saw a guy walking in Downtown Orlando today with a shirt that said "I love my State." My immediate thought was, "Florida is not that great. I'm sweating and the A/C in my car won't blog cold because my car sat on a hot parking garage roof all day." But then I thought about the other states.

How do you feel about your mental state?
What about the state your life is in right now?
How about the state of your marriage?
Or the state of all your relationships, for that matter?
The state of your faith?

What say you?

Paranoid and over-controlling? NAH.

2010-06-24T07:53:00.003-04:00

I'm new to the "day care mom" role. Zeke's been in full-time care for, oh, about six weeks, and it feels like FOREVAH. You shouldn't be surprised that he's doing great. He's healthy, growing, INCREDIBLY social, knows all his colors, most of his shapes, his ABC's, and quantum physics (he gets that from his daddy). But there are a few things he's learned that I'm not thrilled about. They are, as follows:

* The phrase "shake your booty."

* Pointing his fingers at me and saying "pew! pew!" as if he's shooting a gun.

* The word "no."

* The word "mine."

* The fact that he has an opinion.

And here, my friends, are the two ABSOLUTE WORST things he could have POSSIBLY learned in school. I tremble in fear at the very thought:

* DORA

* SPONGEBOB

O.M.G. I about had a heart attack when I went to pick him up early the other day and he was asking another child about Dora. "No, God! Not my sweet baby!" THEN he started saying "Want watch Spongebob!" I passed out. Really, I blacked out for just a second.

I don't want him to watch Dora because it's just plain annoying. So really, there's no issue there that holds any sort of water. I can get over the Dora thing and just not watch it at home. But I have more of a true issue with Spongebob. I truly believe that it's NOT a kids show, and that it's rude and gross. The only time I've ever watched it, the yellow fellow was farting, burping, and pulled down his pants to show his butt. I just don't like that. Can I get an "amen?"

So this morning, my husband very calmly and non-chalantly (I'm so proud of you, honey!) asked the director where he may have gotten the "Spongebob" thing from. She confirmed our belief that they do not have a TV in the building (PRAISE JESUS!) but that they do listen to CD's for music time. She said that they have a Barney CD (which we already knew because Zeke is totally obsessed with the dino) but that they also have a bunch of Spongebob tapes that they listen to. I can't say I feel a WHOLE lot better, but maybe a little bit. We're not really sure what to do here. Being realistic, I can see that I'm probably the only parent who cares about this. But being Zeke's mom, I know what I do and don't want him exposed to. I'm not going to tell them not to play the tapes because it's their school, not mine (aren't you proud of me not acting all "entitled?!"). This is surely the first of many songs/videos/curse word issues I'm going to have with him at school throughout the rest of his life. How do I deal?

Can some of you more experienced moms help me out? What would you do in this situation? What HAVE you done in this situation?

Healing.

2010-06-17T20:24:00.002-04:00

I heard somewhere (maybe it was in a book, which would mean I read it...or maybe it was our pastor who said it in a sermon) that you know you're healing from a hurt when you can pray for the person who hurt you:

When you no longer wish that harm befall him/her...

When something about that person causes you concern...

When you can honestly go to the Lord and pray for that person...

This week I had a very humbling experience. My heart broke for someone who broke mine. I found out that a certain person who was once in my life is having treatment for something that medically, was thought to be resolved.

Honestly, I was surprised when tears welled up in my eyes as I read what was going on. Before I could process what was happening, I had already begun praying for the person. I actually stopped myself and thought, "What the **** am I doing?!" For the next few minutes I fought it. HARD. But eventually God got the best of me and I gave in. It was time to take yet another step toward letting go. So I prayed. And I've prayed every time I've thought of it since.

If that person, or anyone who knows that person, is reading this, I just want you to know that you and your whole family are in my prayers. I am concerned and worried and my heart hurts for you. In praying for you, I was also led to pray for my own forgiveness for the sin of my bitterness. So thank you.

It's not much, and I'm still on the mend, but it's a start. And it feels really good to let go of just a little bit more.

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
--Matthew 5:44-45

Operation KidConnect!!!

2010-06-10T08:46:00.000-04:00

**********************************
Welcome!!! Operation KidConnect is a little project where I partner with Hallmark cards in an effort to encourage the special kids in my life. I hope you'll take this opportunity to do the same!
If you are new to Operation KidConnect and want to catch up, the introduction is here. If you want to find out some more about the kids I am personally encouraging throughout this project, please click here.
***********************************

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line,
Engines pumping and thumping in time.
The green light flashes, the flags go up,
Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.

Have you ever been to an elementary school track meet? You walk from the parking lot across the field into a sea of parents and older siblings dragging little ones into a throng of munchkins. All that's missing is the Lollipop Guild, really. The air is a mix of fifth-grade-boy sweat and palpable anxiety as the kids line up in age groups and prepare to race. Some parents are practically forcing their kids to get into their age group. Some are super-prepared in sweat bands and UnderArmour. Others are in jeans or pajama bottoms, totally ill-prepared for what's next.
And then, the announcer yells to start. And it's all a blur. A flurry of lanky, skinny legs and arms flailing past the start line. They're about to run a mile. That might as well be 100 miles to a first-grader.

They deftly manouver and muscle for rank,
Fuel burning fast on an empty tank,
Wreckless and wild they pour thru the turns,
Their prowess is potent and secretly stern.

The course is marked by the "rabbit," an older, cooler kid who is honestly just more able to hide his exhaustion and panting from the others. They run. And they run. Of course, there are winners in every age group, which means someone loses. Some cross the finish line to the cheers of encouragement from their waiting families. Others are pushed more forcefully: "Keep going! You've got this! Come ON, PASS him Jason!!!" Some cry. Yes, at K2's final race of the season a girl crossed the finish line first....in hysterical tears.

As they speed through the finish the flags go down.
The fans get up, and get out of town.
The arena is empty except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.

The most remarkable part about an elementary school race is not the winners or even the losers, or the flailing frantic kids. It's what happens after the winners AND the losers have crossed the finish line. It's when the kids who never even had a chance cross the finish line. The scrawny, the unpopular, and the special needs kids. And when they are accompanied by their parents, who have chosen to run the race with them and encourage them through the breathless "I can't do it, I can't do it, I just can't"...THAT is what it's all about. THAT is where the true strength is found. There is no one left in the bleachers, the rabbits have gone off to make out with their 5th grade girlfriends, and the score-keeper is packing up her table. And still, they cross.

How do you "go the distance" for or with your kids? How can you "go the distance" with a kid who's not your own but who desperately needs your encouragement?

* Song lyrics taken from "Going the Distance" by Cake. Cake is an awesome band.

* I did not receive any compensation from Hallmark for doing Operation KidConnect. I just really like Hallmark and I hope they like me too. :)

Connecting....

2010-06-07T08:18:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone...

I've been...out of touch recently. I've really been sad knowing that my blog is here waiting for me to write; just waiting for the words to fall on the page. Trust me, there's much to discuss. Unfortunately not much of it can be discussed on the interwebz. Strike that, NONE of them can be discussed on the interwebz. It's sad, really.

Here's what I CAN tell you:

* I am LOVING every minute of my internship. Really, that's all there is to say about that. I mean, I have never been so sure that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.

* My requirements for graduation are intense. There's a huge exam to study for, a paper to write, a portfolio to prepare and a presentation to craft. I work for at least 3 hours every day on one or all of those tasks. It's exhausting but I keep reminding myself that I only have 5 more months left.

* My son, for the most part, enjoys his day care. It's really precious to ride home with him and hear all about his friends and his teachers. He tells the best little stories!

* We share a car. That means I'm taking time out of my day (and Josh is taking time out of his) to commute with each other to Zeke's day care, then to work, then back to Zeke's day care, then home. We leave the house before 7:00 a.m. and don't get back until after 6:30. It's pretty brutal. Does anyone want to give us a free car? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

* We are doing our best to draw close to the Lord through this time and to really sort out the lessons that are to be learned. There are about 1,000 I'm sure.

* We are just doing our best, and just getting by.

So I apologize to those of you who have been reading my Operation KidConnect posts. I'm extremely upset that I haven't been able to post them regularly, and I know I should write my posts on the weekends and schedule them throughout the week and blah blah blah, but I am really struggling. Now that I don't spend all day with my toddler, when I do get to spend time with him on the weekends it's really important that I take that time and unplug from my various devices.

Today at church, the pastor said "saying that someone has 'potential' is a compliment...until it's an indictment." Meaning, you can have all the potential you want, but at some point you need to use it. That's what I'm doing here, trying to finish my degree and yes, WORKING once I receive it. I'm struggling through massive feelings of guilt about putting Zeke in day care and mourning the loss of the freedom I once had to take walks, go to the gym, go to play dates and see my friends. Finishing is one of the most difficult decisions I've made. It would have been easier for me to keep the status quo and blame my lack of completion of this degree on "time running out" or "life happening" or something like that. But the truth is, I have the power to finish this thing. And if these gifts of mine are truly given to me by God, which I wholeheartedly believe they are, then God will see me through this internship, through graduation and onto a fulfilling job. So basically I've realized that it's time to start acting like I believe this. So that's what I'm doing. I'm sorry that's caused me to be a little bit out of touch lately. I hope to have some thoughts about connecting with kids a little bit later this week.

You all rock. Thanks for reading. :)

6:8

2010-05-24T10:00:00.000-04:00

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O Man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

I need to level with you really quick. I've been disturbed by many people's Facebook status updates, as of late. Such updates never used to affect me, because I didn't put much faith in them. I guess I just never took them seriously, because I figured that you can say ANYTHING on Facebook or Instant Messenger (oooh, remember away messages?!! wow.) and it wasn't necessarily what you were REALLY thinking. But now, with the rise of social media, blogging, and the like, Facebook is the new phone call. This is how we find out how each other is (are?) thinking and feeling. People we wouldn't normally wonder, or care about, let alone solicit opinions from, we are now reading their every thought. And, "...out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." So your heart overflows what's in it, into your speech, or online, out your fingers through the keyboard and blasts itself onto the internet.

What's coming out of YOUR heart?

What do your political affiliations say about you? I'm not talking Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, or Ted Nugent. I'm talking about what you believe about what is going on in this country, no not just this country, the WORLD. Out of the overflow of your heart, your mouth speaks. So does your heart respect the leadership that God has allowed over this country? Don't tell me, "Oh, I love *insert political leader here* but MAN they're screwing things up" and on and on and on. I don't think that counts. Why?

Because the Lord REQUIRES some things of us:
That we ACT JUSTLY
That we LOVE MERCY
That we WALK HUMBLY with OUR God.

You are required to act justly and stand up for those who are being mistreated. This includes illegal immigrants. It also includes the homeless, the orphans, and the widows. Even if they're drug addicts and prostitutes. Out of your mouth, you should be speaking justice. Not justice according to some law or bill or possible law or bill, but justice according to the Lord.

You are required to love mercy and rejoice when others are shown mercy, and show some mercy yourself, while you're at it. So cut our world leaders some slack, why don't you? Shore them up with prayer and support because they're doing their job....which leads me to our next requirement:

You are required to walk humbly with our God. You were not appointed as a leader of nations for a reason. If God chooses to appoint you at some time, then lucky you. But right now, he didn't. So walk humbly with the God of EVERYONE. The God of nations, the God of you, me, him, her, and all those people you don't like in the White House, or Arizona, or whatever.

I understand that Government is getting bigger and a lot of people don't like it. I'm not too thrilled about it myself, but you know what? That's what's happening. To fight against it in such a way that does not bring ANY glory to God WHATSOEVER is to go directly against all of these requirements.

If you believe that the Bible is the inspired, inerrant word of God, then you don't get to pick what's true and what's not. It is all true. So not only must you live up to these requirements, you must also believe that God ordains all authority. I personally believe that God ordains the positions of authority, and I'm not sure about the individual people. I'll ask Jesus about it when I get to heaven. But I know for a fact that if the Lord ordained that there be certain positions in government, that we should respect the positions and their authority over us.

The challenge of these requirements is to view justice, mercy, and humility on God's terms. I'm not saying you should blindly follow anyone, INCLUDING God. But remember that your fingers type the overflow of your heart. Your biting, scathing opinions about world matters can be hurtful and disrespectful to the Lord and His reputation. But He can change your heart. And out of your fingers will flow justice, mercy, and humility, regardless of how much you dislike our government, or anyone else's, for that matter.

Peace.

A Giveaway...

2010-05-17T16:58:00.002-04:00

.......On someone ELSE'S blog!

Gotcha, didn't I?!

Well, while you're here, I'd like to tell you about Life With Twins and Multiples. It's a blog out there on the interwebs about...you got it! Life with twins and multiples. There are a few different authors, who you can find out about here. These are all extraordinary women who have dealt with EXTREMELY difficult situations, either in their daily lives (um, hello, they've got multiples) or through obstacles they've encountered along the way. Trust me, I know some of them personally. I wouldn't lie to ya.

The lovely ladies of Life With Twins and Multiples are having their very first giveaway! You can win a Little Lasso, like this one: There are many ways to enter, which means many chances to win! Even if you're not a twin/multiple mom, you're welcome to enter! This doo-dad would make a great gift!

Go enter, and let me know if you win!

Operation KidConnect....MONDAY?!

2010-05-14T16:37:00.004-04:00

Wondering what this is all about? Click here!

Well HI there! I haven't seen you for a while! I apologize for being inconsistent, but I've had just a few things going on. For the past few weeks, I've been on the hunt for a day care for my son. It is time to re-start my internship, get on with life, and finish my Master's Degree. But as we learned this week, there are many things you can't do in the workplace, and I'd like to add one: You can't bring your 2-year-old with you. I know, right? Surprise, surprise! I hope that amidst the busyness of your week, you were able to make some special, purposeful connections with the children in in your life. It's really difficult! I know! I was in the thick of it this week, ankle deep in work (not yet knee or neck deep, and for that I am thankful) and requirements, and...ugh. The important things just slip away sometimes. I encourage you to find new focus on the little things you do each day to be a positive force in your kids' lives (or other kids).

Being that it was Zeke's first week of day care, there were many tears shed...by both of us. We both needed some encouragement, except he's very difficult to talk to, not because he's emotionally unavailable...mostly just because he's two. So I try to encourage him in little, different ways. Every day I tell him what a good boy he is, even after 10 time-outs (because trust me, after a day at day care with no nap, there are at LEAST 10!). I tell him that mommy and daddy love him and love each other. Y'all, it is SO important that our children know that we love our significant other. I know there are many different situations out there--divorce, abuse, hostile marriages, and I honestly CAN NOT speak to those because I am not in those situations. But if you are married (or even in a committed relationship), and you love your spouse, your children need to know. We also give him "special treats." Sometimes we'll go to McDonalds (like we did this week) or sometimes we'll give him some cookies. Really, anything can be a "special treat" if you call it one and make it feel extra-special. Zeke now asks for them: "mama, special treat ice cream!" He's so sweet. One of the main sources of my anxiety over him being in day care (especially this first week) was that he would feel afraid or lonely, or like we didn't love him. So I try my hardest to let him know how much we love him, verbally, and in other ways as well.

On Thursday, my nephew K1 was recognized at a special event at the University of Florida in Gainesville. The event was only for the super-smartiest kids in Florida schools. Just to give you an idea of how smart you've gotta be to attend this thing...you have to score in the 90th percentile of all Juniors and Seniors in High School........

AND be in 7th grade.

That's right, my 7th grade nephew scored in the top 90th percentile of Juniors and Seniors in HIGH SCHOOL. So at the age of 12, he's already scored higher on the SATs than I did. I. Feel. So.....Not. Smart.

But do you know what's really neat? K1 never makes me feel stupid. With the exception of an incident in early elementary school where he stood up on his desk and declared himself smarter than everyone in the class, including the teacher (he got in pretty big trouble, as I recall...once my sister, his mom, stopped laughing), I have never seen him outright FLAUNT his intelligence. He has EVERY right to, by "worldly" standards. The kid is brilliant. But he doesn't rub it in anyone's face that he is so smart he has already skipped a grade. K1 (really, both my sister's kids AND her two step-sons) are extremely polite and kind. So to encourage Kevin on his special day, I sent a card along with my dad (the proud Grandpa had to attend the event!) for Kevin. I, of course, failed to write down the exact wording for you, but it talked about how proud we are of him and that his actions and abilities speak louder than any bragging could. When you've got a great kid (or when you ARE a great kid) there is no need to brag. If the child lives in such a way that others can see their "light" shine, they are living in humility and with a humble heart. And that, I believe, is more valuable to society than a perfect SAT score.

Do your kids know how proud you are of them? Have you encouraged them to be humble and let their abilities speak for themselves? What do you think about encouraging them to do that this week?

**DISCLOSURE: Hallmark sent me some awesome cards from their Kids' line for this project. They did not pay me, and my opinions about the cards (if I even feel like expressing an opinion rather than just telling a cool story) are my own and were not brainwashed into me at some secret lab at Hallmark Headquarters. I promise. You can show Hallmark some love by visiting a store and buying something, or even following their PR department on Twitter. They're great!

Tips

2010-05-10T16:34:00.002-04:00

If you've been following me on Twitter lately, you know that I just started (really, RE-started) my internship for my Master's degree in counseling. You haven't heard from me much in the past few weeks because I've been trying very hard to get all my ducks in a row, dot the proverbial "i's" and cross those darned "t's"...and put my son in day care for the VERY FIRST TIME. Yes, I cried, and No, I'm not ashamed.

ANYWAY, I'd like to bring some things to your attention, especially you stay-at-home moms. I'd like to help you out. You see, my grand-re-entrance into the work force has not been, *ahem*...smooth. I may, or may not have committed some faux pas while getting reacquainted with my new-ish surroundings. You can be spared the embarrassment if you will but read about mine. I therefore present you with the following...

Things you probably shouldn't do at work, former SAHM!
1. Pick your nose. You really shouldn't be doing this anyway, since you can't blame your child learning the habit on anyone else but you...pssssst...your husband knows. It's* okay.* But really, no one outside your own home wants to see you dig for gold. Did you know that nose-picking is generally socially unacceptable? Well now you do. People WILL look at you funny if you do it, and not funny like your kid looks at you and it's oh-so-cute. No. They will probably walk the other way and avoid you if they see you doin' one of these: 2. Sticking your hand down your pants to adjust...whatever. So this one goes along the lines of the last one. This is a private activity that should be relegated to the confines of a restroom. Or, if you can close the door to your office and you do not share it with anyone else, I guess that's okay too. Yes, I know your pockets are all bunchy in the back, but people really aren't going to notice. What they WILL notice is your hands down your pants.

3. WEDGIES. Just let it ride until you can get to a bathroom, for the good of all involved. Please.

4. Adjusting your belt. Again, restroom stuff. Yes, you should be proud of losing the baby weight. But if you adjust your belt to cinch in that last belt loop in front of others, especially if you are standing up and they are sitting down, they will PROBABLY think you are taking your pants off. No one wants to see you take your pants off in the work place. At home, you can take them off whenever the thought strikes you, so you don't think "wow, someone might think I'm taking my pants off when I'm really not." Well, think again sister. You must remain clothed in the work place, and people are on guard about that kind of stuff.

5. Bodily functions. Try not to burp, fart, run screaming to the bathroom because you've got to pee or...whatever. This may seem like common knowledge, but especially after having a baby, these things just.........happen. You gotsta control that! Do your exercises. Please.

5 and 1/2. While we're at it... you don't have to call it a "potty." "Restroom," "bathroom," and "Ladies/Men's room" is juuuust fine. Everyone knows what you're talking about. ALSO... you can go ALONE! SCORE!!

6. Wear your jammies. You've been wearing them until the baby naps and you can get a free moment to shower and put at LEAST a clean shirt on, but honey, the rest of the world wakes up and gets ready BEFORE 1:00 p.m. Shocking, I know! Trust me, it threw ME for a loop. Your Eeyore pants are NOT proper office attire. Neither is your Eeyore shirt, even if it's covered by a jacket and EVEN if it's over those super-trendy leggings. Wear. Something. Else.

So there's a few of my tips...you know...because I've seen people do this stuff and I want you to be WAY cooler than THEM when you go back to work.

RIIIIIIIGHT!!

Any tips YOU'D like to share?!

Beauty...

2010-05-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

I hope you all had a very happy Mother's Day and either were treated like the special lady you are, or treated SOMEONE ELSE like the special lady she is.

Now, I am not Mormon, and I do not believe what Mormons believe, but I cannot deny the fact that Mormons are some of the kindest people I have EVER met. And you are stone-cold in your special heart-place if this video does not affect you. NieNie is beautiful, inside and out. I want to be like her when I grow up.

My Last Day...

2010-05-07T11:31:00.003-04:00

Today is my last day at my current job.

Starting Monday, I am no longer a Stay-at-Home Mom.

Zeke will be starting day care while Josh goes to work and I essentially go to "work" and only get paid in academic credit.

Today, I took Zeke to his new school to check things out. He's found a new friend, "Ducky," a yellow duck puppet that I played with as a little girl, and he refused to let it go when we arrived at school. But once we got out on the playground, Ducky was promptly dropped on the ground in favor of the slide with the steering wheel and the many tricycles. In short, Zeke was fine! He had fun with the kids in his class, although he had a little bit of trouble sharing. I guess that's to be expected since he hasn't had to share with anyone except his playgroup friends (maybe once a week) in the last two years. I even got on the floor and read several stories to the group.

I actually started my internship yesterday (my mom took the day off of work to watch Zeke), and I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. It's amazing how quickly the time flies when you're around other adults! At the end of the day, I felt accomplished and tired in a new and different way. I obviously know how difficult being a SAHM is. There were days when I felt accomplished at the end of the day, but it's different. Yesterday showed me that I am ready. It's time.

So starting Monday, I will be a working woman with my child in day care. And....

I'm really looking forward to it!!

Tempting Fate

2010-05-04T15:45:00.002-04:00

In January, I won a contest sponsored by Steaz. The prize? A full-conference ticket to Blissdom! I had the time of my life. Really, I did. I learned so much and made so many new friends. At the end of it all, I hoped that the relationships I developed would continue and grow into teenage slumber-party type relationships with curlers and jammy pants and late-night movies. And we wouldn't have to even call each other on the phone, y'all, cause there's TWITTER!

*insert sound of a car screeching to a halt*

Well, that isn't QUITE reality, now is it? Here's the reality: I connected with a LOT of great women (sorry to say I didn't meet BusyDad, one of Blissdom's token males) and made some surprisingly deep friendships in a short amount of time. BUT, they live ALL over the country. And none of them lived in rural Missouri, where I lived at the time, although Amber comes close because we could have met up in Bentonville, Arkansas, about an hour away from me. Well then I moved back to Orlando, and you'd really think that there would be a lot of tweetin', bloggin', super-hip chicks in this here city, but the truth is, I haven't found many (although there are a few! Hi Erin! Hi Anna! Although you ladies barely count because Erin, I went to High School with you, and Anna we're practically related. Anyway.). I know, I know, I'm just not looking hard enough. Whatever. ANYWAY, while I still tweet with my Blissdom friends, the connection, like all friendships, is ebbing and flowing in a beautiful way...but it's hard to stay close! It's like we met at Summer camp, promised to write, and then got really busy.

So here is where I tempt fate a second time. Sears Portrait Studio is sponsoring a contest for one lucky winner. The prize? A ticket to BlogHer '10! I don't know if you know this, but tickets for that conference sold out in like, 2 seconds. I know I already won a ticket to a conference, but I know someone who's mom got struck by lightening twice, so it's not impossible that I'd win this too, right?!

Attending BlogHer would benefit me (and any blogger, really) in untold ways. Personally, I would like to selfishly continue to make connections with other women bloggers. Professionally I need the networking and education sessions to help my work with Social Girl Media. I am relatively new to this. I feel like a total newbie although I know there are others just starting out behind me. I guess I'm afraid I'll lose my online momentum and that all my hip, cool, online buds will forget about me!

*sniff sniff*
*wiping a tear*

Yes, that's a little bit melodramatic.

Sears Portrait Studio, although I have never used YOUR portrait studio, I am a lover of fine professional photographs, as long as they're done right. I prefer the candid shots that weren't even meant to be part of the session--especially with families. They show the true feelings and love between family members that seems to die when you say "tilt your head a little bit to the left...now a bit to the right...a little more to the right....no your other right...there you go Princess." And I love blogging and making connections.

So, if your random number generator sees fit, I would LOVE to win your contest!

*Disclosure: This post is an entry into Sears Portrait Studio's BlogHer '10 contest. We were asked to tell why we want to go to BlogHer and why we like professional portraits. All drama, heart-string tugging and violin-playing is mine.**

Plan B.

2010-05-03T14:29:00.005-04:00

Many of you know, but some of you don't...

I am in the middle...or maybe just the beginning (who can really say?) of a "Plan B" situation.

Or is it "Plan C?"

Who the heck knows?
ANYWAY...

I've spent the last few weeks reading "Plan B," by Pete Wilson, husband of the fabulous Brandi Wilson. He's also a pastor or something like that at some teeny, tiny, unknown church. I kid, I kid.

Ok here's the deal: I've been through many Plans B in the recent past. Let's recap, shall we?
*I had a baby whilst in the middle/end of my Master's degree.
*I had postpartum depression
*My husband, son and I followed God's leading to a whole different state, away from both of our families; thus taking the biggest leap of faith we ever had as a family.
*Six months later, we moved back to Florida
*We are living with my parents
*My husband is currently not in vocational ministry.

The list could go on, and if I could, I'd expand those little asterisks with many bullet points underneath them.

You've been there too, huh?

Don't you feel like you missed God's plan? Like, you made one, just one mistake like moving to another state (with the best intentions, following a clear path from the Lord), and now it's all over. God is now bringing in his "B" team of angels to fix things and get you back on some semblance of the track, while you fumble around, dizzy from the upheaval of it all.

That is absolutely false. And thank you, Pete Wilson, for helping me realize that. Pete's book does not in any way, shape, or form, answer the question on the cover: "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN GOD DOESN'T SHOW UP THE WAY YOU THOUGHT HE WOULD?" Not in the way any of us would like, at least. Upon first hearing about the book and fighting to request it from BookSneeze (the number of folks requesting the book overloaded the server within the first 30 seconds of it's availability), I wanted answers. My bitter heart was ready for vindication and the secret formula for how to make my life work again.

What I found instead was far more valuable: Validation. If nothing else, reading this book made me feel like I was not alone. It reminded me of a concept that was very important to me in the past, but that I had forgotten along the way: God knows. He knows what's happening, what's happened, and He cares. And perhaps the most important piece of all:

I did not screw up God's plan.

Although I have doubted it in the recent past (and am sure to doubt it in the near future), I am absolutely certain that God led us to move out of state and we did the right thing by following. Whatever led us back matters less than the fact that we must continue to trust Him through this time. "Plan B" is still a plan. It's still God's plan. God will use our circumstances whether we like it or not. But if we choose to RECOGNIZE that he is using them, we will be healthier and (more) whole. And you all know that I'm all about mental health on this here blog.

The greatest thing Pete's book has shown me is really very simple:

It's okay.

Did you hear that? It's OKAY. God can turn this Plan B, C, D, Z...into something used for His glory. And how I react to it will not change how much or if He loves me, but it will change my character. I get to determine if it will ruin me and my relationship with the God I love so much, or if it will strengthen my relationship with Him, my husband, and my family.

This can change us. For the better. There is hope.

As a good friend of mine once (or twice or a million times) said, "Thank You Lord."

Now if you want to read some of my other, more objective thoughts on the book, head over here to my Amazon review. I just thought you'd like to hear what it meant to me.

*DISCLOSURE: "Plan B" by Pete Wilson was provided to me for FREE by BookSneeze. All I had to do was agree to review it in a couple of different places. AND be very patient, because Pete broke the internet when it was first made available to us. GOSH, Pete! Sheesh! Oh, and the opinions are my own and not influenced in any way by anyone.

Operation KidConnect Thursday!

2010-04-29T09:00:00.001-04:00

I'm digging myself out of the elbow-deep pile of sick, pneumatic toddler poo to bring you...

Operation KidConnect!

**********************************
Welcome!!! Operation KidConnect is a little project where I partner with Hallmark cards in an effort to encourage the special kids in my life. I hope you'll take this opportunity to do the same!

If you are new to Operation KidConnect and want to catch up, the introduction is here. If you want to find out some more about the kids I am personally encouraging throughout this project, please click here.
**********************************
Have you ever needed to apologize to a child? THAT will humble you, for sure. On a Sunday a couple of weeks ago, my niece and nephew (K1 and K2) came over for dinner. Unfortunately, tensions were running high in the house, and I ended up in a very large argument with my mother. It was pretty not-nice, and she expressed her regret that it happened while the other children were in the house. So of course, I felt horrible. She was right--they had heard everything, and were likely feeling very tense themselves. I really felt the need to apologize, but I was nervous. It's difficult to swallow that large amount of pride, especially when it stems from an argument, and say that you're sorry (thereby admitting that you were wrong) to two people 15 and 18 years your junior.

But I did it. I apologized to each of them, gave them both a big hug a kiss on the cheek, and asked them to forgive me. It was brief; I was crying and had snot running down my face and they seemed totally unaffected and slightly weirded-out by the whole thing. But I felt a little piece of the hardness in my heart melt away. It's just one more moment that knits us together a little tighter. I love that, don't you?!

Have you ever had to swallow your pride and apologize to a child? How did it affect your relationship?

Last week...well...the last week I did this...which was...well whatever. We're all busy, right?! Okay anyway, I had my dad bring a beautiful card to my niece at her soccer game.

Exhaustion takes over...

2010-04-28T00:09:00.004-04:00

It's 12:10 a.m. My sweet baby two-year-old is quietly sleeping now, after six long hours in the emergency room.

Zeke's been warm since birth. I mean really, the kid's warm-blooded. He always feels like he has a fever. But yesterday he was much warmer than usual. He refused to let Josh or I touch inside his mouth, so we figured "Ah, the 2-year molars are coming through." We gave him Tylenol and called it a night. At 3:20 a.m. my mom came to our door (we are living with my parents and Zeke sleeps in her room), waking me up to tell me that Zeke was talking in his sleep, breathing fast, and felt very warm. I went in, woke him up, gave him Motrin, sang to him, and put him right back down. When he woke up in the morning, he was fairly warm, but not enough for me to be very worried. My dad had plans for the day involving his car, so Zeke and I were to walk to the drug store next to the neighborhood and get an ear thermometer (have you ever tried to take a rectal temperature on a two year old? Me either, and I'd like to keep it that way). I really didn't think anything would come of me taking his temperature. Honestly, the last few times I've thought he had a fever, they've been completely false alarms.

102.7. Yes, it's my favorite radio station from where I grew up in Southern California, but it's also my sweet baby's temperature this morning after our walk. Again, not overly concerned and very aware that sometimes kids just get fevers, I gave him some Motrin, a chocolate ice cream bar, and he felt much better. When nap time came, I left to vet some day care centers in the area while my dad worked in the front office of the house. Upon my return, Zeke was already awake, which, only 2 and 1/2 hours after going down, is never a good sign. He's a long napper, unless something's wrong.

It was physically uncomfortable to hold him, he was so hot. "Burning up" does not begin to describe it. I immediately took his temperature.

103.5. I remember, as a kid, growing up sick. I had strep throat every 10 days--as soon as the antibiotics were out of my system, I had a new infection. I weighed 25 pounds at 5 years old. My fevers were frequently 104 and 106. And I knew the scared look in my mother's eyes when she read the thermometer. My eyes told the same story today.

Precious Zeke had two attempts at IV's--one in each hand, that failed. He had his temperature taken rectally. He had a bag stuck onto him to catch his urine. There were chest x-rays, one from the front and two from the side with his arms held up--twice because he was screaming too hard the first time. He had to wait and watch American Idol, Glee, AND Parenthood with us while we waited SIX HOURS for test results. His fever broke, he sweated, then it started to rise again. My poor, poor child.

The diagnosis, which you know if you are a friend of mine on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, was Pneumonia. He had no symptoms and has even been on antibiotics for 10 days due to an ear infection, but he has Pneumonia.

I wrote that last night. Really, this morning. He was feeling well when he woke up for about 15 minutes, but it's been downhill from there. He's now sleeping peacefully in his crib, which is a welcome sight and sound.

We are ALL exhausted.

Operation KidConnect Thursday!

2010-04-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

My apologies to all of you who came here expecting some amazing revelations regarding connecting and deepening you relationships with the children in your lives.

*insert sound of crickets chirping here*

I'm taking a break this week. My "baby" boy turned TWO yesterday, and I've been very busy trying to keep on top of all the Birthday madness, as well as managing the beginning of my counseling internship and a new worry: child care for my sweet boy until my sister is done with the school year (she works in the public school system) and is able to watch him for the Summer. You see, I will begin said internship on Thursday May 6, and she doesn't get done until the middle of June. I just realized that this morning. So I'm a little bit stressed right now, to say the least.

Please pray that we can navigate this and get things figured out soon. I'm drowning just a little bit, but keeping my head above water, for now.

I'll be back next week.

Love to you all!

How did this happen???

2010-04-20T08:20:00.006-04:00

How did you go from this...
To this...

To THIS?:

Dear Ezekiel,

I am ever amazed by you. Right now you are playing quietly with your "new" train set on our makeshift train table, grandma and grandpa's coffee table. You are discovering new things as I type. Every once in a while I will hear you shout, "Blue one train!," letting me know that you know the color of your new trains. You are SO smart.
Your obsession with trains has reached epic proportions. Yesterday you ran away from me at the park, only looking back to tell me that you heard a train in the distance. "Chooo Choooooo!" you shouted, breathless, with a look of sheer delight on your face.

Music is another love of yours, and you eagerly await the days we can go to a Mr. Richard show nearby. It helps if he's at a Chick-Fil-A. Yesterday you were invited to come up and play your new guitar with him, and you got nervous so you just wandered around. I think you walked away every time he looked at you. But I could tell you felt special. I felt special FOR you.

You can spot a playground a mile away, and can't wait to play on the toys. Yesterday you climbed on the big boy toy all by yourself. I looked over and there you were, feet completely off the ground: I could hardly believe my eyes.

As you embark on this new journey of "two," I remember the hard times we've faced, and how you have loved me through it all. As far as I know, you have not been affected by my nightmare. I thank God for that. I also thank God, in a way, for my Postpartum Depression. Because through it I have FOUGHT to love you. And I have won!
You are turning out to be an amazing little human being, with the funniest little quirks. Your daddy's sense of humor, your mommy's need to have everything....just SO. And the creativity. My goodness, the creativity.

So, baby boy, today I wish you a happy SECOND birthday! Right now I don't care if you suck your thumb forever. You are still my sweet baby boy. Your daddy and I love you always, no matter who you turn out to be.

Will you please leave a comment with a Happy Birthday wish for my baby? THANK YOU!

How about THEM apples?!

2010-04-16T10:00:00.000-04:00

My heart is racing.

My pits are a little sweaty.
My hands are shaking.

No, I didn't just see my husband walk by (although trust me, he produces the same effects)... I just finished eating a delicious treat. I am now on sugar overload, but it was worth every minute of shaking, sweaty-ness.

You see last week, this caramel confection from Mrs. Prindable's landed itself in my mailbox. When I opened the US Postal Service box to find the rich purple box tied with a gold ribbon, I felt really special! The beautiful box built a sense of expectation, like I was about to open a gift fit for a queen. I held my breath as I released the ribbon, and found my apple, perfectly wrapped in cellophane and tied. The apple held up remarkably well during its trip to Florida and subsequent overnight stay in my local post office. There were only a few stray shards of white chocolate in the wrapper. Did I mention that this sucker was HUGE? You can find an "actual size" picture of a jumbo apple, which was the size sent to me, here. Mine was every bit as big as that picture, if not bigger. As soon as it was out of the box, into the refrigerator it went, just as the directions said. Of course, I attached a note alerting my family to my *ahem* journalistic endeavors regarding said delicious apple, so they wouldn't gobble it up for themselves.

Tonight I shared it with my family after sitting it on the counter to reach room temperature. Although Mrs. Prindable's says to cut it into 10-12 pieces, it was difficult to get the knife through the chocolate and cut it smaller. Oh well, bigger pieces for little me (we ended up with two big pieces and four little ones)! A lot of the outer chocolate drizzle came off during the cutting process, which was a bit disappointing, but I ate the casualties afterward, so it's all good. We dove into our apple slices and.....
OMG. We loved it. The Granny Smith apple was really crisp and tart. The dark chocolate was amazing, but my family's consensus was that the CARAMEL was the main attraction. I have a tremendous sweet tooth, but I don't like my sweet to be TOO sweet. The caramel was perfect, almost salty. And against the crisp apple, was a delicious compliment. My dad proclaimed after his first bite, "There goes my diet!" But hey, it has dark chocolate, so antioxidants, yes?! I ate the most out of everyone--one big piece and one smaller piece. Then I may or may not have eaten the thick caramel off the bottom of all the leftover pieces. I'll never tell.

Mrs. Prindable's, thank you for your delicious apple, and the sugar-high it brought me! After 25 years in the business, you'd think I would have heard about you by now--I AM 27, after all. One of these should have been at my second birthday, for sure. I don't care if you genetically engineer these enormous behemoths in a lab--they are tasty. Possibly the juiciest, crispest apple I've had in a long time, if I've ever had one CLOSE. Thank you, thank you, for making me feel special, and for helping me forget about my troubles as they melted away into a delicious river of caramel and chocolate. If you don't mind, I'd like to make a suggestion. Would you consider making and selling a special apple cutter for your customers? There is an apple store in my mall (which I now know is a knockoff of Mrs. Prindable's, who are the originators of the chocolate/caramel apple) and they cut the apples if you want, right when you buy them. I believe it is a rounded blade with a straight handle on the top. I'm thinking if you offer the cutter with the apple for an additional charge, customers could be sure to get the even pieces they desire. Just a thought!

If you, dear reader, would like to follow Mrs. Prindable's on Facebook, click here. If you become a fan, you could win an apple by answering a question on their Facebook page! That's a pretty sweet deal!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to drink a gallon of water to cleanse myself of this yummy goodness.

**Disclosure: Mrs. Prindable's provided me with an enormous, gorgeous, delicious apple for free. I was not required to post this review, and my opinions are my own (and my family's. But they mostly said "mmmmm" and "yummmmm."**

Operation KidConnect Thursday!

2010-04-15T10:00:00.002-04:00

Welcome to Operation KidConnect, where I partner with Hallmark cards in an effort to encourage the special kids in my life. I hope you'll take this opportunity to do the same!

If you are new to Operation KidConnect and want to catch up, the introduction is here. If you want to find out some more about the kids I am personally encouraging throughout this project, please click here.

Last week I wrote about sending one card to all of the kids. Connecting with ANYONE in your life requires a certain amount of vulnerability. As I slid the envelope into the mail slot, I felt a little bit silly. Here I was sending a card to my niece and nephew and their stepbrothers I barely know, and attempting to be "cool aunt Rachel" when I may ultimately be making a total dweeb out of myself. And using the word "dweeb?" That just seals the deal.

You may be surprised to find out that I am a bit shy. According to the Myer's-Briggs personality test, I am an introvert, even though I act like an extrovert. Don't get me wrong, I love the stage, I love performing, and I am thrilled that I teach group fitness. But all of that stuff, while it's extremely fun, is all part of my exterior. On the inside, it exhausts me and I'm afraid I'll be rejected. Don't lie, you're the same way. So because of my introverted nature, I haven't asked my sister how the kids liked the card. I know, I know, I'm a dweeb. BUT, I did get a chance to go to their soccer games this past Saturday, and just KNOWING that I sent a card to them helped me open up. One of the boys, A, was playing with my son for the majority of the morning and I felt more comfortable talking to him because I knew I had already reached out in a less-threatening way.

This week, I'll be sending a special card to my sweet niece, K2. I love this card because it has a little token on the front that she can take out and stick in her pocket if she wants to. It also talks about angels, and I'm constantly praying for angels to protect these kids. Here's the outside of the card:

And here's the inside:
I'm excited to write a little note inside and send it off. She is so sweet, and being the only girl amongst THREE boys, she needs a little bit of extra attention.

So, how about you? What did you do LAST week that helped you connect with the wee ones in your life? Did you send a card? You know, you really have no excuse not to, since you can get a FREE CARD at HALLMARK GOLD CROWN STORES until 5/30/10!! Do you have any questions you'd like to discuss about connecting with your loved ones? I'd love to help. Instead of the MckLinky we had last week, I invite you to just share in the comments. No need to write a whole blog post about it. I'd just like to know what you think. I'd also like to know what your plan is for this week!

Go on, spread some love!

**Disclosure: Hallmark provided me with the cards for Operation KidConnect. The opinions about the cards I've expressed in my blog posts are my own. I wasn't paid. But, you know, if I was, it would be cool :)

Operation KidConnect!!!

2010-04-14T10:00:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone!!!

What is Operation KidConnect, you ask?!

If you need an INTRODUCTION to the project, click here.

Now that you know about it, you're probably wondering WHO THE KIDS ARE! Click here.

Great! Welcome back! I'm so glad you're up to speed!

Last week Operation KidConnect launched on Wednesday, and I've decided to play around with it a bit. This week I want to try it on Thursday. Why? Because it's my blog and my project, and I want to see what day works best for it! Some days are better than others, so let's try Thursday this week!

Since last Wednesday, were you able to connect with some of the kids in your life? What were some of the things you did to intentionally connect with a child? And what are your ideas for this week?

Hold those thoughts, and share them tomorrow! See you back here for Operation KidConnect!!!

Fear and Loathing In...

2010-04-12T09:00:00.002-04:00

*****I've been writing this in pieces for the past few weeks, but until now haven't written down. Bear with me on these posts. I need to get some stuff out...but it comes in bits and pieces, sometimes without making much sense.*****

End of February

it looked hopeful

excited, daydreaming about a future of freedom

ready to move forward, grow, change, stretch, move

discomfort unavoidable but beneficial in an established institution.

he comes home from the meeting earlier than expected.

the door closes behind as the baby starts to cry, up from his nap earlier than expected.

enters the bedroom.

air draws out of space as he opens his mouth to tell the tale.

i hear the sound, but as if i'm above looking down

as if i'm already a thousand miles away back home

or watching a movie.

i hear the sound, the guttural cry.

it's not the baby, up from his nap earlier than expected

it's me.

and that moment is all it takes.

God is scary again.

Ultimate Blog Party Like It's 1999

2010-04-08T23:04:00.002-04:00

Hi! If you're here from the Ultimate Blog Party, thanks for stopping by! If you're not and you have no idea what the Ultimate Blog Party is, click on that text or on the button in my right-hand sidebar. So, whether or not you're here because of the par-tay, please stay for a little while and get to know me!

My name is Rachel. Nice to meet you!

I grew up in Southern California (Mission Viejo, to be exact) and then moved to the Orlando, Florida area when I was about 11 years old. My early life is fairly boring. Mission Viejo was a GREAT place to grow up, and I did so with very little incident.

Random Fact #1: With the exception of a recent period of 6 months (which you'll get to hear about later) I have never lived more than 30 minutes away from a Disney park.

My family has remained in Florida since then. School happened in Central Florida, too. I attended Stetson University for my undergraduate degree in Communication Studies, and am currently still a student there, pursuing my Master of Science degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

Random Fact #2: I went to Stetson on a music scholarship and ended up switching majors my freshman year, although I played piano and sang throughout my time there, to keep my scholarship. I even gave a (not-so-good) senior recital. I danced too, Ballet, until about four months before I had my son.

During my last undergraduate semester at Stetson, I was employed full-time as the Music Admissions Counselor. I left in 2006, shortly after I got married. Then I was a case manager for a social services agency until I had my son in 2008. Now, I'm a mom. And a group fitness instructor.

Random Fact #3: My husband Josh and I met, started dating, got engaged, and got married all within a year. Why so soon? We believe in an enormous God who wanted us to be married. So why would we wait?

I just moved back to my home town, in fact, my old HOME, with my parents, after being in Missouri for six months. Why only six months? Someday I'll be ready to talk about it more, but for now let's just leave it at that. If you hang around long enough you'll find I reference it because I am deep into the healing process from things that happened. But I do so in my own way. That's the power of blogging--it's a chance to have therapy on your own terms.

Random Fact #4: I am incredibly proud of my husband and all he has accomplished for his 25 years. Right now we are taking a break from full-time ministry, though he is an ordained pastor. We are growing A LOT.

So, why do I blog? That's probably what you're wondering.

I love to write. In High School I was a correspondent for our newspaper's youth section, and I loved it. I fancied myself a journalist, and constantly had my nose buried in a notebook, pen in hand. Actually, marker. I always wrote my stories with a lilac thin-tip Crayola marker. I was rad like that.

My blog is a mash-up of my life. Sometimes I write very directly, like I am right now--everything concrete. Sometimes I get a little bit poetic and vague because it protects the ones I love while giving me an outlet for the....junk. Most of the time there's a dash of humor SOMEWHERE in here.

I also do lots of fun things, like Operation KidConnect which is a really neat project I just launched using Hallmark cards to encourage the children in our lives. I also do some product reviews every once in a while. I'll be reviewing a Mrs. Prindable's apple soon...as soon as I can sink my teeth into it!!

You must be wondering, what's with the title--"Not Just A..."

Well aren't YOU "Not Just A...?"

I'm Not Just A....
wife
mother
academic
counselor
encourager
group fitness instructor
strong woman
"good girl"
Christian
advocate
.....and the list goes on.

I'm Not Just any of these, but all of them mix and mingle to make me.

What makes you YOU? Is it the things you are Not Just, or is it the things you Aren't Yet?

:) Something to ponder.

It was great to have you here! Please leave a comment so I know who you are and can visit your blog, too! I can't wait to get to know more people in this great community. What a party it's going to be!!!

***********************
Now down to business: I'm supposed to write about what prizes I'd like if I win anything from the random drawings going on during the Ultimate Blog Party.

My top 3 are:

USC 17: $200 gift card for Apple from CmomGo!
This is definitely my #1!!

USC 3: $50.00 Target GiftCard from Peggy Gorman

US76: Sentimental Sweethearts Necklace from Sentimental Silver

The other ones I'd like are:

US32

US107

USC15

US40

USC63

USC60

Ultimate Blog Party Like It's 1999

2010-04-08T23:04:00.001-04:00

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

2010-04-08T12:32:00.002-04:00

HOW am I just finding out about this?! I am SO out of the loop!

Tomorrow I'll be posting my very first "party post" for 5 Minutes For Mom's Ultimate Blog Party 2010!

It's not too late! You can join in too! Just click on that link right up there or on the button in my sidebar and find out how to introduce yourself and hop from blog to blog during the week of April 9-16!

Can't wait to meet everyone!

Oh, and if you tweet about it, use the hashtag #ubp10! That's how we'll find each other!

3...2...1...Blastoff!!

2010-04-07T10:00:00.001-04:00

I am so excited to OFFICIALLY launch Operation KidConnect today on "Not Just A..."

In case you missed my INTRODUCTION to the project, click here.
If you missed finding out WHO THE KIDS ARE, click here.

There! Now that you're all caught up, we can begin.

Operation KidConnect was formed out of my desire for stronger relationships and connections with the kids in my life. Kids need a lot of encouragement, and here are just a few reasons why:

* According to SafeYouth.org, almost 30% of youth (or over 5.7 million) are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both.

* We've all heard the statistic: "50% of American marriages end in divorce." While widely disputed (and I'm not at ALL sure about the validity of the claim), no one would dispute the fact that divorce is prevalent in our society, and it involves children. There are custody issues, visitations, and other stressful things that are now a part of children's lives at a much earlier age.

* According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide was the THIRD leading cause of death for young people 10 to 19 years old in 2000. In that year alone, 1921 young people ages 10 to 19 took their own lives.

Children face, head-on, more issues than I knew existed when I was their age. They need our encouragement to "Keep Calm and Carry On."
Here's how this is going to work: Hallmark has provided me with some great cards from their new Kids Collection. Every Wednesday I plan to review a card and tell you how I'm going to use it. The following Wednesday I'll give you a follow-up on the previous week's card, as well. You know, opening up and reaching out to children (who may or may not be cooler than you--it's okay, just admit it) is a little bit scary. What if it doesn't work? What if he/she thinks I'm a dweeb? Well I'm here to help you (and me) through those anxieties and encourage us all to connect with these kids. Each week I'll also add a MckLinky so you can follow along with others who want to be more intentional about connecting with the children in their lives. All you have to do is write a post on your blog and enter the address into our MckLinky. Let's all support each other!
So this week, I plan to use this card:
I really like this card and I think it's a good fit for the ages I want to connect with: 9-13. It's culturally relevant, with the whole "ear bud" thing, but it's not TRYING to be cool. The inside message in effect admits that the sender is somewhat old-fashioned. Since my niece and nephews probably hear me say "when I was your age" waaaaay too much, this one will make them laugh.

It will be mailed via pony express, er, I mean, US Postal Service to ALL FOUR of the children (all four of them receiving one single card--let's see if they fight over it! That will be the true test of whether it's cool or not!), and I'll write a personal message on the inside.

So....how about you? How are you going to connect with those special kiddos this week? Also, what are some of your worries or anxieties about making this intentional effort to connect?

**Disclosure: Hallmark gave me the cards and nothing else for this project. The opinions expressed in my review are my own.**

Introducing....

2010-04-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

....The Kids!

These children are really the stars of Operation KidConnect, so I thought you'd like to meet them.

K1: My 12-year-old nephew. He is tall and lanky, like any 12-year-old should be. Born when I was 15, he has been an integral part of my life since then. He loves sports, and is good at any that he's tried. He currently plays soccer, and did a really cool knee-slide to keep the ball inside bounds at a game a couple of weeks ago. When he did it, I said "That was hot!" and he was really embarrassed.

K2: My 9-year-old niece. She just turned 9 on Sunday. Everyone say, "Happy Birthday, K2!" She is sweet and sensitive, but in a house full of boys, the femininity is, well, hidden just a bit. She was born when I was a Freshman in college, and she charmed all of my boyfriends, including my now-husband. K2 LOVES my son, and the feeling is definitely mutual. He won't stop talking about her and asking about her. They have a great relationship already. She also plays sports and just finished up her first cross-country season and is continuing with soccer.

A: A is the K's older step-brother. He is 14 and...well, a 14-year-old boy. He's funny and he really likes racing and monster trucks. I hear he has some girlfriends, as well. He was a "rabbit" for K2's last race. That basically means he ran ahead of the kids to pace them and make sure they ran on the right course. He ran. and ran. and ran. And did a great job! A plays soccer, too and has a lot of natural athletic talent.

D: D is the K's younger step-brother, at 8 years old. He is very funny, and very sweet. He seems to enjoy playing with my son Zeke, and Zeke really likes him (and A) too. D plays soccer and is amazing on a playground. Really, you should see this kid hang from things--he calls himself a monkey, I guess because other people call him a monkey...because I think he actually is one. He has expressed a desire to take gymnastics and I think he'd be really good at it! Soccer is his sport for now, as well as cross country, which he also has in common with K2.

So there they are, the Fearsome, Fabulous Foursome. You probably noticed that I didn't have as much to say about A and D as I did about the K's. That's because they're late-comers to the game. I have not had the opportunity to get to know them like I have the others. That's the challenge in divorced families, is it not?--making everyone feel included in the blended family. I am excited to use Operation KidConnect to help form a stronger relationship with them. I'm not looking for sunshine, rainbows and unicorn poop here, I just want them to know I care.

So tell me, who are the kids you're looking to connect with? How has divorce affected the children you know?

*Disclosure: Hallmark provided me with the greeting cards for Operation KidConnect, but did not otherwise compensate me. Operation KidConnect was my idea, my product reviews reflect my own opinion, and Hallmark is cool.*

Passion and Purpose

2010-04-05T10:00:00.001-04:00

Kevin Carroll is an amazing speaker. I was really touched by his personal story when he shared the opening keynote speech at Blissdom in February. His talk was an inspiring reminder to me: "Why do you do what you do?" He challenged all of the ladies (and men, ahem, BusyDadBlog) to live each day with passion, purpose, and intention. So I got to thinking, as I'm sure we all did, WHAT is my passion? WHAT is my purpose? And how can I be intentional about pursuing it?

After about a week of mulling and stewing, and feeling absolutely certain that I had no purpose in life, I figured that was probably wrong and thought harder. Then it came to me:

My passion is connecting with people, and helping them connect with others. My purpose is to, by connecting with people (or connecting them with others) help them feel better. And I NEED to be more intentional about it. I am an encourager; there are no two ways about it. As much as I try to escape it, I was put on this earth to encourage others.

I feel absolutely drawn, nay, CALLED to go with people into the darkest places in their lives, and help pull them out--sometimes by helping to carry them, and others by cheering them on as they claw and scratch their way free.

Much of my focus in the recent past has been on encouraging children. I volunteered for two years at a wonderful organization, New Hope for Kids, at their Center for Grieving Children. Having been a grieving child, I understood the need for a safe place for children to express their feelings or be silent. I was honored to serve alongside the mother of my friend who died tragically at the age of 16. Through our shared experience we were able to reconnect and help each other and the children we served at New Hope. Children are fragile, yet incredibly resilient beings. They face some of the most difficult problems of life: divorce, death, remarriage, school stress, grades, peer pressure, the sudden end of nap time in Kindergarten. They need us. They need cheerleaders.

So I bet you're wondering what my big announcement is, huh?

I was introduced to the Hallmark Kids Collection at Blissdom, where I also met the fabulous Sarah and Molly, who not only have my dream job (writing for Hallmark) but also are fantastic people. They let us bloggers look through the cards, pick a few we liked, and talk about them on camera. In case you missed my guest post on Blog Conference Newbie and want to see my video interview, click here.

The Kids Collection really, truly impressed me. I have long been a fan of the written word. There is just something special about receiving a real, handwritten, thoughtful card in the mail, no? You can connect with another person through a written piece of mail on a different level than you can through a quick email--am I right? I think many of you are nodding your heads right now. Well, at least I'm imagining that you are. Maybe I'm even getting an "Amen" at this point.

Well, Hallmark is helping me connect with some VERY important kids in my life--my niece, nephew, and their two step brothers. They have decided to help me out with a project called.......*drumroll*.....

Operation KidConnect!!!!

And here's how it works:
Hallmark has already sent me some FABULOUS cards from the Kids Collection. I plan to use these cards to connect with and form deeper connections with, those special kids in my life--specifically my niece and nephew and their step brothers. Right now I have NINE cards total in my arsenal, and I plan to fire them out at my kin with ninja-like swiftness and precision. Operation KidConnect officially launches on Wednesday, April 7. I can't wait!! Each Wednesday I will review the card or cards I plan to send (or drop off at the front door in a very un-stalker-like fashion) to one (or two, or ALL-whatever I feel like, this is MY project!) of the kids. The following week, I'll provide a follow-up on the "results" of my mission to connect.

Y'all, I am SO excited about this. A HUGE "thank you" goes out to Hallmark and their PR people at Fleishman-Hillard. They have provided me with enough cards to get started, and because they rock, they may send me some more!

Will you join me on this journey?! On Tuesday I will share a little bit about the amazing kids I am going to connect with. I encourage you to pick a special kid (or several!) in your life that could use an extra boost. Is it your kid sister? Your niece or nephew? Your child or grandchild? I'll provide a MckLinky on Wednesday where you can post and link up to share your thoughts about connecting with kids. I want to hear your thoughts, and I want to encourage and help you be more intentional about your connections with the wee ones you love. Or tolerate, if you have teenagers...*ahem*, Vodkamom.

Can't wait to see you on Wednesday!

Something's happening here...

2010-04-01T19:58:00.001-04:00

Something very exciting is coming to "Not Just A..."

No, I can't tell you what it is.

Not yet.

You'll find out on Monday.

Hold your horses!

Patience is a virtue!

See you on Monday!

:)

Why I'm Moderately Okay With Obama's Healthcare Thingy

2010-03-30T11:00:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, I would like to state the following, for the record:
**Am I super-dee-duper thrilled and ecstatic about Obama's plan? No. Like everything in life, it has drawbacks as well as advantages. Even cuddly puppies pee on the floor. Take that how you will.
**Do I believe that one political party has all the answers? No.
**That includes you, Republicans. Neither you NOR the Democrats, NOR the Independents, NOR the Green Party NOR the Tea Party NOR Ted Nugent have all the answers to any question or any dilemma facing the nation.

Now that all that is out of the way, we can begin.

I owe my OB/GYN in Missouri approximately $500.00. Not because I am currently or was at the time, pregnant. My visit was slightly related to some general post-pregnancy/post-large-baby issues of the female nature. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. My initial visit, and subsequent visit for a diagnostic ultrasound, as well as exams during both visit, were for problems, not pregnancy.
Yes, we had insurance. It was very pricey insurance. We KNOWINGLY declined pregnancy coverage because of the cost it would incur my husband's employer. Since we were not planning on having a baby, we figured that made sense. However, we owe the OB/GYN in Missouri $500.00 because *drumroll please* my reproductive organs were not covered under our policy until after a waiting period, which ended twenty days after my visits...and of THAT, we were not informed.

Yeah. Did you know that having a uterus is a pre-existing condition? I didn't, but now I do. And now my husband is unemployed (but not for long--yay! But that doesn't matter because we're still stuck with the bill) and we owe the OB/GYN in Missouri $500.00.

Under Obama's new health care plan, people like us, people who find other insurance too pricey to get the coverage they need, will have options. Were the new plan already in place, we would probably have had Medicaid during the time of my OB/GYN visit because income restrictions would have been adjusted and we would have qualified. Before you pass judgment on those who are on "welfare," take a look at this: Oh yeah, him? He will be receiving Medicaid as soon as we can apply for it. Don't tell me he doesn't deserve it. There is nothing wrong with being on Medicaid. Medical care is expensive, and we all need it. Now we can all get it.

Yes, I know it's expensive to the American people as a whole, and I will never pretend to know the ins and outs of the budgetary ramifications of such a Bill as this. But what I do know is that I am okay with helping others out. Paying higher taxes so someone who wouldn't normally be able to afford insurance can do so is okay with me. If it's not okay with you, maybe you haven't taken a foster child to the dentist or doctor and used their Medicaid, thanking God the whole time that they are able to get medicine when they were sick. Or maybe you haven't ridden in the car with a homeless, HIV-positive mother who also has Ovarian and Cervical cancer and is receiving Chemotherapy thanks to Medicaid, which covered her reproductive organs without a waiting period. Maybe you SHOULD talk to some of those people and hear those stories. They need that public option.

I see President Obama's healthcare reform as "leveling the playing field," so to speak. If everyone has to have health insurance, then bigger companies will lower their costs and increase their options. More doctors will accept more plans, and more people will benefit. One of the sad realities of the Medicaid system, and I have seen it in the cases I mentioned above, is that many of the doctors who take Medicaid are NOT the best. Not that they aren't fine doctors, but perhaps a more specialized doctor could be found to treat a certain condition more quickly than another.

The point I'm making is that with this new healthcare reform, my $500.00 owed to the OB/GYN would not be an issue. I would have qualified for Medicaid or a lower-cost, better health care plan that included my uterus. And chances are, under the new plan there will be fewer restrictions such as "you must wait x-amount-of-time before your hoo-hoo has any problems."

So for me and all the other uteruses (uteri?) out there, just give it a chance. Open your mind beyond your party's lines and let's give President Obama a fighting chance with this thing. He is our President, and he deserves at LEAST our support, even if it's not enthusiastic. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to come up with $500.00.

Romans 13:1 (NLT)
"Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.

Daniel 2:21 (NIV)
"It is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings; He gives wisdom to wise men and knowledge to men of understanding.

Transition Part II

2010-03-25T22:30:00.003-04:00

I don't know who stole my baby and replaced him with a screaming, fussy toddler, but I have words for you. HARSH words. Zeke has been EXTREMELY "touchy" lately. Surely moms, you know what I mean.

Normally he is such a wonderful, obedient little man. And even at his worst, he is not as bad as he could be. But the tears have flowed on more occasions than I care to remember over the past few weeks. Today, they were mine. Zeke couldn't decide whether or not he wanted to eat a graham cracker after breakfast; thus, he was having a fit and crying his little heart out. This is where our conversation picks up.

Me: Honey, let's go play!
Zeke: NO!
Me: Darlin', look at all those toys! They're so fun!
Zeke: No mama, HOME!
Me: Sweetheart, we ARE home. This is our home now.
Zeke: No! Home. Toys. Mama, please?

My. Heart. Sank.

He knows. The fact that we ripped him out of the only place he had known, where we moved when he was only 16 months old, is not lost on him. He has a memory now. He remembers his friends. Every once in a while he will ask for his friends and say "Hug". Many of his toys are missing; in storage. Much of our life is the same as when we left Florida--I take him to the gym to see his favorite baby sitter. He has the same friends. But he doesn't remember THEM, because he was still just a baby when we left. Until today I failed to recognize that he might have trouble with this move. And trouble, he haz it. It explains so much about his recent behavior: the refusal to eat, the screaming, the sensitivity. I vowed this morning to be more understanding.

He wants to go back home, back to what's familiar and comfortable.

And don't we all?

"Beloved I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation."
1 Peter 2:11-12 (English Standard Version), emphasis mine

Why I love Blogging...

2010-03-22T13:45:00.003-04:00

I love blogging because....

This is me...RIGHT now:

Let that beautiful portrait just marinate in your brain for a little while.

Here's your update

2010-03-16T14:15:00.002-04:00

I've been back "home" in Florida for a week. Tonight will mark Josh's one-week "anniversary" as well.

Most of you know, but some of you might not, that we are living with my parents. It is humbling to be back here, relying on them again. But we're trying to do as much as we can on our own. I cook dinner...yay me! The employment search has begun, and hopefully will end soon. Though I know in this economy there is no guarantee.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that this is scary, y'all. I have some thoughts brewing about my fear, which I'll share eventually, but they're still forming.

I'd also be lying if I didn't tell you that life is great right now. I already have a spot teaching at my old gym. I've been taking classes with my amazing instructor friends, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed them. I was approved for an extension on my degree, and will begin my counseling internship in May.

As much as things are falling apart all around me, as soon as they hit the floor they're bouncing up and coming back together.

Transition

2010-03-10T14:57:00.002-05:00

Moms, what is the hardest part of labor?
"Transition labor"

Transition is the hardest part of life, so "Transition Labor" is aptly named.

My little family is in a time of great transition. The upheaval it has taken to get us this far is unbelievable and almost unbearable.

We are now back in Florida, tucked safely behind the walls and wings of my parents' house and arms, as they feed us and love our little boy. I feel like I did back in high school--no one can hurt me here. We're here to lick our proverbial "wounds," get angry, kick and scream, take care of ourselves and each other (thanks, Jerry Springer), and re-learn dependence and independence.

Our belongings are either in storage or in other peoples' possession, causing us to cut ties with earthly "stuff," and we just wait until it's time to branch out on our own again.

I am in and out of tears on a daily basis, remembering, wishing, and wanting. But also, reflecting. On grace and goodness, and holiness. And sovereignty. All things I question but know to be true at the same time.

I know right now with the greatest of certainties that my soul is starving. Sometimes anorexic, refusing food; sometimes bulimic, regurgitating what it knows is best. I open the bible and grasp for straws and shove them in my mouth. But sometimes I can't keep them down so I just don't even try.

This is just a "season," to be sure. But Punxsutawney Phil said "six more weeks of winter." Bah Humbug. Transition to Spring.

REAL

2010-03-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

The Start

"REAL"
"AUTHENTIC"
"GENUINE"

Buzzwords? Maybe.
I try to be all of these things in all of my relationships, but it is difficult. I have a mask just like everyone else. So here's where I'll start. It's time for me to get real about some things that are going on; things I'm struggling with.

There is a LOT happening. I'm not ready to express all of it, but my blog is like therapy for me in so many ways, so I'll get it out here as soon as I have the words.

But for right now, at this instant, here's my struggle:
I know I am supposed to turn to the Bible and prayer for support and comfort. My faith has always been my source. But I am so weary, I don't even know where to start.

Where should I go? How should I even start praying?

Important.

2010-03-04T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's important to be "Not Just A..." because you never know when your "Just A..." is going to come to an end.

What do you think?

Fashion = Education

2010-03-02T21:04:00.011-05:00

She's Still Got It is one of my favorite blogs right now. Lindsay Ferrier (also of Suburban Turmoil) has a way of making fashion so easy and accessible. For a while I complained that I had no idea what to wear because what I'd see in magazines was so...out there, and out-of-my-league. Lindsay brings it down to earth and gives real examples of things that match...and she takes pictures of herself in the mirror, which shows that she doesn't take herself TOO seriously. PLUS, I was able to meet her at Blissdom! Many of my outfits were inspired by She's Still Got It, so it was awesome to hang out with my inspiration, if even for a few seconds. Here we are, BFF's, natch:

This picture also co-stars my bicep and tricep

Today I surfed on over to She's Still Got It to get my fashion fix. Of course, at that very moment, my toddler came into the room, demanding my attention. He's 22 months, and just doesn't understand, "No honey, mommy has to find out how to look hot." His eager little hands reached up and he said "couch, mama, ELMO! COMPUTER!" I pulled him up with me but didn't feel like watching Elmo, so I turned my visit to my favorite fashion site into a little lesson.

Me: Zeke, what's this?
Zeke: SHOES!!!
Me: GREAT, honey! What's THIS?Zeke: BAG!
Me: Yup! Can you tell me what THIS is?Zeke: HAT!!!
Me: Yeah! Can you say "Fabulous?"
Zeke: Fabbulsssssss Elmo!
Me: No sweet boy, no Elmo right now. What is......THIS?

Zeke: Bag, Mama! BLUE BAG!!! Yeah!
Me: You are a genius!!!
Zeke: Elmo!!
Me: No. No Elmo.
That's right everybody, as if I haven't bragged about it enough, my 22-month-old knows his colors. And I am really proud of the fact that I found a new, interesting way for him to practice them, while still having fun for myself. My son is a genius, and he's DEFINITELY got it:

Flava FLAAAAAAAAV!!!

**All pictures taken from She's Still Got It, except for the one of my kid.**

PostPartum Nightmares

2010-02-28T15:42:00.003-05:00

First of all, I must give a huge shout-out and "Thank You" to the Discovery Channel for allowing me to preview their special, "PostPartum Nightmares" which airs Tuesday at 8pm (ET/PT) on Discovery Health. Check your local listings so you don't miss it. Then set your DVR. Then set a reminder on your iPhone to watch it. Then tell your husband to remind you. Then just go ahead and watch it.

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you probably know that I suffer (I hesitate to use the past tense on this one, because I don't know that I'm out of the woods just yet) from Postpartum Depression.

Every woman's experience with the....disease, disorder, THIEF, that PPD is, is absolutely different. Some women may feel mild symptoms and get over them quickly. I've heard women tell their stories and the conclusion sounds like this: "And then the cloud lifted and I felt normal again." Others are hit harder, in a deeper place, and require intense and intentional work to pull themselves out.

Discovery Health presents three stories in "Postpartum Nightmares," each one different, but each with a common theme--Postpartum Depression is a problem, and it hurts women at our core. We want and need to feel good about ourselves; to be confident, caring mothers and wives. And Postpartum Depression, quite honestly, ROBS us of having that need fulfilled.

There is an incredibly negative stigma around PPD. We are so ashamed to admit we need help, to admit that mothering is not as perfect as they portray on TV. Why, iff one in every eight women (or one in five, depending on who you ask) suffers from PPD, do up to 80%...wait, let's hold on just a teeny-tiny minute and let that one sink in. Ok we're back. EIGHTY PERCENT of women go undiagnosed and untreated.

I won't go into detail about these ladies' stories, because they are not mine to tell. They do a beautiful job of telling their own struggles, as do their husbands. I really appreciated peeking into the husbands' point of view. It's important that they be educated and aware of the risks, as well. The overarching message in this special is: There is hope. You may have to go to many lengths to find the treatment that works for you, but do not give up. For your child, yourself, and your family, do not give up.

Ladies, let's take off the mask. Let's show everyone our strength in overcoming this struggle. If you are suffering from PPD, please get help. If you want to talk, please feel free to email me. I would love to talk to you. But please see a doctor or a counselor; even a trusted friend. You're not alone, we are all here for you. You can get better. You WILL get better.

Here's my email: racheeb at gmail dot com

**Baby Week kicks off March 1 at 8:00 p.m. Eastern/Pacific Time on Discovery Health. There are some amazing specials on every night, including some about multiples, and one I hope to catch about "Extreme Parenting." Wahoo!! Click here for the whole line-up**

**I did not receive anything for writing this...just the privilege of pre-screening the show...which made me feel extremely special.**

Blissdom Link Love Part Deux

2010-02-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

Today's Blissdom Link Love is dedicated to the wonderful ladies I met the very first night. Just like all the others I met at the conference, these ladies are amazing in every way. But they get special props for making me laugh, making me feel comfortable, and hugging me in the bathroom.

* Mary Anne Beasley: The Stiletto Mom ^
* Robin Sampson: Heart of Wisdom ^ //And BOY does she have some serious wisdom!
* Christine Young: From Dates to Diapers //My note on the back of the card is: "6 kids. Super tiny." :)
* Tiffany Romero: Stars & Hearts Media/SITS
* Brigid Day: Eager and Anxious/ Brigid Day.com
* Kimberly Hartke: She's a publicist, but has a personal blog
* She needs NO other introduction: VODKAMOM
* Cynthia: NapWarden
* Amy Gross: Mom's Toolbox AND Mom's Travel Tales
* Laurie Turk: She's got about a billion blogs, and they are ALL fabulous, just like the green feather headband she was wearing at the first party! So here are Laurie's blogs:
**TipJunkie
**ExecutiveHomemaker
**ChicChickMedia
**BuyMomMade
^: Denotes official bathroom-hugger.

I also need to give a shout out to someone I forgot the last time I posted links--
* Sarah Gronberg Kolell, Publicity Manager for Hallmark. Click Here for the Hallmark site; Click here for a more personal peek into Sarah's life!

Blissdom Link Love!

2010-02-24T10:00:00.002-05:00

Here's some link love for the WONDERFUL, AMAZING ladies I met at Blissdom! I wish I could remember ALL of you specifically, but I am struggling, so please forgive me. I hope to reconnect with you in the blogosphere soon!!!

* Liz Latham: Hoosier Homemade THANKS FOR THE GUMMY BEARS!!!
* Stephanie Johnson: The Blue Zoo
* Shannon Shaffer: For the Mommas
* Charlene Haugsven: My Frugal Adventures
* Angie: Many Little Blessings Angie has many other homeschool resources--check her out!
* Heather Solsbery Spirittibee
* Alli: Couponing for 4
* Jessica Turner: The Mom Creative
* Sara Crowe: Events Etc. Sara is amazing for letting me hang out with her a lot over the weekend!
* Megan Crume: Sweet Sadie Marie CUTE stuff on her etsy site, too!

I'm moving through my business cards slowly but surely! So come back on Friday to see if you're featured!!! If you haven't been, you will!

Hold You

2010-02-23T20:23:00.002-05:00

"Mama UP!" he says
So his daddy lifts him up above where his 3-foot-tall frame can reach on his own. Onto the bed, where I am refusing to face the day.
He brings his trucks. "Red truck! Blue truck!" He lays his head on the pillow next to me, and as I wrap my arm around his enormous (for a toddler) frame, he says "vrooooom" and the arm is a race track. The cars race, form a train, and fall off the cliff of my shoulder.
This is the first time he's ever laid in bed with me for any length of time, without squirming his way down.
And I realize that THIS is why I get up in the morning. "Mama UP! Mama, holdyou!"

Review of "Free Book" by Brian Tome

2010-02-22T08:00:00.003-05:00

**Disclosure: "Free Book" by Brian Tome was provided to me for free by BookSneeze, a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers. I received the book in exchange for this review. You can get free books too! Just sign up for BookSneeze!**

The cover boasts that Brian Tome is "a fanatic about freedom." The 230 pages following this bright orange attention-grabber prove it. Tome brings to light a familiar concept among Christian circles: freedom in Christ, but he does it in a new way. He presents the concept in plain, sometimes shocking, language and with a giant dose of humor. As I was reading some of his more colorful descriptions I had a clear image of his editor, eyes wide, marking with a red pen. I'm thankful that his editor let some of the more "borderline" words and phrases through to the final cut--it really works in this concept. His use of common language and stories about drinking beer demonstrate the freedom that he, himself, has found in Christ. The last thing the Christian audience needs is one more author telling us what we must do--Tome would say that will lead to guilt, which is ultimately bondage. Instead, he presents his ideas and serves as a living example through the entire book. Many of the principles can be related on a broader scale, such as a church congregation. Pastors, I recommend you read this book and apply it to your life, and your ministry as a whole.

If you are wondering why your spiritual life is stagnant, you may be facing a stronghold. Get free, and feel free to use Brian Tome's wisdom as a guide.

22 months

2010-02-20T16:54:00.002-05:00

Hi Zeke!

You are 22 months old today! When you were born, I swore to myself that I would take a picture of you every single month on the 20th. But you must know something about your mommy. I have ADHD and I don't take medication for it anymore. So I get distracted really easily from my delusions of grandeur and sometimes never accomplish what I set out to do. But that's okay, really. I've owned that part of myself and let it go. I realized that it isn't important to take a picture of you every single month in the same way or record every burp, giggle, and toot. What IS important is that I enjoy you and live my life with you every day. It would be nice to record everything, but then I'd miss a little bit, and I don't want to do that. So here it is, a random "you're this many old" blog post for you to enjoy when you're older. Don't ask mommy where months 1-21 are because they don't exist!

Some Cool Stuff You Do/Like:
* You still love Harvey Hamel the Camel, and are reluctant to put him back in bed after you wake up. It is so adorable to watch you suck your thumb and rub his worn fur. It melts our heart.

* You love to talk, and have your own language. Sometimes I have no idea what you are saying and I just respond with "Yeah? Tell me more!" and you do.

* Today, you played independently in your room for the first time by yourself...with very few tears.

* You run, and when you get going really fast, you lean forward and stick your arms straight out behind you.

* You like to be tickled and have the most precious laugh!

* You are very silly, and do things just to make your mommy and daddy laugh. Before you were born, I specifically prayed that you would be silly. What a precious answer to a momma's prayers!

* Just like every toddler, when you want me or daddy to hold you you say "Holdyou"...except when you say it it's cuter than when all the other toddlers say it.

* You love trains and call them "choo choos" but when we ask you what a "choo choo" says you say, "chooooooo chooooooooooo" in a really high voice.

* Elmo is your favorite thing. Ever. You sing "Elmo's Song," sometimes without being prompted, and it is so cute: "La La La La La ELMO!!!"

* We still sing "Jesus Loves Zeke" to you before bed and nap times, and you're starting to sing along. It warms my heart that when you fall asleep the last thing you've heard is the truth of the gospel.

There is so much more, but I just can't keep going on or I'll cry way too much and when your daddy gets home he'll wonder what's wrong. I love you sweet boy. I fought hard to love you, and I do. So much.

Here's a video of Zeke and his daddy being silly:

The Stink

2010-02-19T15:54:00.003-05:00

"I can't wait to go home to a clean house."

"I am SO happy we're going home to a clean house."

"Clean house, here we come!"

After Zeke left for Florida with my mother-in-law, I was afforded the luxury of one day without him in the house. Yes, I missed him, but I got a LOT done. I was able to thoroughly clean before embarking on my Blissdom adventure and vacation to Florida. Pride coursed through my veins as I basked in the glow of dust-free hardwood floors and clean-as-I-could-possibly-get-it laminate in the kitchen. The toilets shone, the shower smelled like bleach, and nary a crumb littered the high chair. We left for a blissful two-week vacation without a care in the world because of my hard work (insert pride here).

This is the phrase I heard from my husband as I was peeling my constipated toddler's limp body out of his car seat when we arrived at home two weeks later:

"Ummm, it smells a little funky, and I can't tell if something's rotting or if it's just damp."

Josh had gone in before us to turn on lights and such, and noticed a funk. The smell hit me as soon as I crossed the threshold. It smelled like...I couldn't even describe it. I sniffed at a couple of random cardboard boxes in the kitchen, knowing that I COULD have thrown a banana peel in one of them and forgotten about it in my rush to leave two weeks prior. Then I thought to open the refrigerator. The light didn't turn on and the smell worsened. It was the fridge. As Josh came in with some of the luggage I informed him of my discovery. Our first thought was "how did the refrigerator break?" The we saw it. The plug next to the refrigerator, above the stove, did not power the stove. It powered the refrigerator. And it was unplugged.

We unplugged the refrigerator (and, consequently, the freezer) before we left. TWO. WEEKS. AGO. The freezer was an even sorrier sight, and the main source of the smell. I had been stockpiling frozen food from Angel Food Ministries, and we had just received a shipment shortly before we left. Chicken breasts, turkey burgers, fish patties, chicken patties (which looked really good by the way! well, not by this point.) and leftover bread that I had made sure to keep for our return were all ruined. And that doesn't even cover what was in the refrigerator. Eggs, mayonnaise, butter, milk (well that we knew would be bad anyway so I wasn't too disappointed about it). All gone. No food in the house except for instant oatmeal and some canned goods. I'm glad I got rid of a bunch of eggs and apples and other produce before we left. I can't imagine the smell if those had been present. Ugh.

We unplugged this now reeking appliance thinking we were doing a good thing. We unplugged everything that had a plug, except for the stove. Well, we THOUGHT we were unplugging the stove, but it was the refrigerator. I can tell you honestly that I really wasn't that mad. The feeling I had was more along the lines of violation. Something had been happening in my house without my knowledge. Without my consultation, a process (namely, the decomposition of random animal and vegetable flesh) had started in MY HOME, and continued for two weeks. I assumed everything was fine and dandy. I worked hard ensuring it to be so. I led the charge for cleanliness, but in my absence, nature rebelled. I am reminded of Christmas 2008, when we found a rat (or two?) in our apartment. I felt violated then because this rodent was sneaking around behind my back stealing my Christmas cookies and peeing on my rug, giving my 8-month-old a rash. And here I am again; this nasty food violated my trust.

Sure, I guess it's our fault. {I won't tell you who REALLY unplugged the fridge, because if you follow me on Twitter you already know, and I would never say anything negative about him, and he feels REALLY bad, and I thought it was the stove plug too. AND he watched figure skating with me last night. I am a lucky wife!} But we set up the expectation that everything would be fine in our absence, and when we got back we were SORELY disappointed that things had been happening; food rotting, behind our back. And so we clean up, disinfect, and carry on.

Have you ever been let down by your own expectations, even if it was your own fault?

On Finishing

2010-02-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

I bet you didn't know that I'm "Not Just A..." (fill in the blank with whatever you choose--"lover of fine literature," "voracious consumer of potato products", really. Whatever); I am also a student. A graduate student, at that. I've had THAT prestigious title since the Summer of 2004. Now, a deadline looms on my horizon.

"Congratulations on your acceptance into our ridiculously awesome Master of Science in Counseling program. You have six years to complete it. Time staaaaaaaaaaaaaarts..........

NOW!"

Since that Summer, my journey has been like a traffic jam. Start. Stop. Start. Go for a little while and screech to a halt. To make a very long and complicated story a bit shorter (just in case you're reading this on your phone and can't scroll down too much at once), I've been in a state of limbo since my son was born. "Taking a break," so to speak. Every last bit of my coursework is complete. All I need is 2 semesters of an internship and I've got that degree in my grubby little hands. Hold it there sister, just one problem. This Summer, my six years is up. I will be applying for, and am hoping to receive, a one year extension on that deadline because I'm ready. Life happened, got in the way, and now I've got to finish.

So I'm about to press the gas pedal again and hopefully cruise to the exit. 800 hours of unpaid work away from my husband and son is what NOW looms on my horizon. It is going to suck. But the end result will be exciting because I will finish a dream and take a big step toward living out my purpose (more on THAT subject later. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here). Doors of opportunity will fly open off their hinges for me to walk through if I choose. At the very least they might squeak open a tiny crack and I can use the muscles I've gained over the past couple of years as a fitness instructor to push and kick them open all the way.

Excitement and fear feel very similar to me, so I don't know WHAT I'm feeling right now. All I know is that it's time to put my foot down on the gas instead of keeping it where it is--hovering over the brake, ready to end my journey for good. TWO SEMESTERS. That's IT. Time to finish the race.

Have you ever pressed on to finish something even though the journey was difficult? how did it turn out? How did you feel when it was over?

THIS.

2010-02-13T22:15:00.002-05:00

This is courage and grace:

If only we all could face the end of our lives with such love. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Video taken from: Eva

Blast from the Past Part 2

2010-02-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

And here's the sequel! I know you've been anxiously awaiting it. So go ahead. READ.

Original Post Date: June 7, 2009

GOD just did something...

....and I have to share it with you. If you haven't already, please read one of my previous posts--click here.

I just received a video in my email from my mother-in-law. It might seem insignificant to you, but I truly believe that this video made its way to me because the Lord knew that I needed to feel His presence and know that he is still there, listening and CARING. Even in the smallest little details, he's there, he knows, and he is concerned. I love it. And even though this video is meant to be really cool and just a neat thing to watch, I have tears in my eyes. After you read my previous post, please watch--

Isn't our Lord amazing?! Can I get a hallelujah?!!

Blast from the Past Part 1

2010-02-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

Just because I went to Blissdom, I am now a total blogging rock-star, worthy of a "Greatest Hits" album. In the blogging world that means that I can re-post past posts (alliteration! woohoo!) and here is the first of two I'm re-posting while I'm on vacation. These two mean a lot to me, and you have to read them in order, so pay attention! Installment #2 will come soon young grasshopper, so be patient.

Original Date: May 18, 2009

The God Who Cried, "Purple Lizard!!"

Week two of my new Bible Study, "Believing God'" by Beth Moore, has barely begun and God is already revealing to me some pretty intense Truths. I know the title may have caught you off guard, but read on: I promise I will explain it.

In Day 1 of this week's homework, we were introduced to Isaiah 45:18-25, which reads (in the NIV):
¹⁸ For this is what the LORD says—
he who created the heavens,
he is God;
he who fashioned and made the earth,
he founded it;
he did not create it to be empty,
but formed it to be inhabited—
he says:
"I am the LORD,
and there is no other.

¹⁹ I have not spoken in secret,
from somewhere in a land of darkness;
I have not said to Jacob's descendants,
'Seek me in vain.'
I, the LORD, speak the truth;
I declare what is right.

²⁰ "Gather together and come;
assemble, you fugitives from the nations.
Ignorant are those who carry about idols of wood,
who pray to gods that cannot save.

²¹ Declare what is to be, present it—
let them take counsel together.
Who foretold this long ago,
who declared it from the distant past?
Was it not I, the LORD ?
And there is no God apart from me,
a righteous God and a Savior;
there is none but me.

²² "Turn to me and be saved,
all you ends of the earth;
for I am God, and there is no other.

²³ By myself I have sworn,
my mouth has uttered in all integrity
a word that will not be revoked:
Before me every knee will bow;
by me every tongue will swear.

²⁴ They will say of me, 'In the LORD alone
are righteousness and strength.' "
All who have raged against him
will come to him and be put to shame.

²⁵ But in the LORD all the descendants of Israel
will be found righteous and will exult.

Our homework asked us to consider the challenges we face in believing God, and how they relate to these verses. The Lord gave me a vision. I was transported back to Kindergarten, on the playground at my church, where I went to school. I saw my friend Taylor (who I am privileged enough to still call a friend, after all these years) running toward me saying, "Look! Come see!" And this is what I wrote:

In Isaiah 45:18-25, I hear you partly as angry, and partly pleading like a child who wants a friend to come with him to see a really cool lizard on the other side of the play ground. "PLEASE! I swear! There's a purple lizard over there!" And I say, "No way. I've never seen a purple lizard--I DON'T BELIEVE YOU." And I miss out on seeing a really cool purple lizard. I say I trust you, with my mouth, but my spiritual life thinks of you as "The Boy Who Cried Wolf." I guess I feel like you don't work for me. You do amazing things for others, and I believe in your miracles from the past, but I don't believe in them today. My mind is too skeptical and I am too cynical. Over-spiritualizing everything just seems to cheesey to me. My tendency is to shut down my spirit when I sense you're getting close. I've never seen a purple lizard. In fact, I'm terrified of them, which made my honeymoon fun. Have you ever been to Mexico? There are gigantic lizards EVERYWHERE! They just chill wherever they want, mostly directly in my path, scaring me half to death by their mere presence. Anyway, it would be really super-cool to see a purple one, from a distance, of course. You want to show me one! You do! I know you do! But I don't believe that there is one on the other side of the play ground!

The thing is, when I was in Kindergarten, if Taylor had come running to me and told me about a purple lizard, I would have stopped what I was doing and bolted over to the scene of her amazing find. Even if I didn't think purple lizards were real, I would have gone. So why, when the God of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE wants to show me something, and requires that I believe what he said in the past, I say, "Nah, I'm good. Purple lizards aren't real, silly!" And, even if the purple lizard had run away by the time I arrived, I still would have believed Taylor. So again, why not believe the God who MADE EVERYTHING?

Since I wrote that, God has shown me SO MANY lizards, which, of course, has made my skin crawl, but has also reminded me daily of his promise. There is SOMETHING AWESOME at the other side of the play ground, if I would only believe what he's saying! He is NOT The God Who Cried Purple Lizard, because everything he's ever said has been TRUE.

Blissdom 10

2010-02-08T20:57:00.002-05:00

I have to, once again, give an enormous, huge shout out to Steaz for picking me (even if it was random) to attend Blissdom on their big fat dollar. In case you didn't know, I won a full conference pass and you can check out my entry here.

We (husband and I) drove 10 hours from rural Missouri to Nashville, TN, and I was FREAKING OUT the entire way. I followed Twitter updates all day long and the anticipation only grew. By the time we got there I was so excited and nervous that I almost told Josh to turn around and drive me back home. Pretty much every time I went to ANYTHING at Blissdom, my first reaction was to turn around and run back to my room, into the waiting arms of my familiar husband. At least I knew HIM. Have I told you yet that I didn't know a SOUL walking into this ginormous BioDome? I am so socially awkward (and don't you dare comment and try to tell me I'm not--wait a second, no, go ahead and comment and tell me I'm not), or at least I FEEL like I am socially awkward, that it was easier for me to run and hide; maybe even bury my head in the sand, than face a few cocktail parties. But I didn't. And I am SO GLAD I didn't.

Because I broke out of my shell (and nearly vomited every time I did it) I met some amazing people. There are simply too many to list. Some of the more awkward meetings were between myself and some bloggers that I really admire. Take, for instance, THIS classy lady.
Lindsay, you are so pretty! Sorry. Just had to throw that in there.

*ahem.* Anyway, I saw her at the Potato Tastemaker 2k10 Party , looking absolutely fabulous. Someone I was standing with said, "Oh my gosh. Do you read Suburban Turmoil? Because THERE. SHE. IS." And with that, went up and talked to her. I got a little sweaty in the 'pits right there, I'm not going to lie. Because THERE. SHE. WAS. So I decided to march my little butt over there and make a fool out of myself. So I started the conversation with, "I'm about to really embarrass myself, but I'm okay with that. I'm Rachel Boldman, and Ireadyourblogalotandactuallycomment,whichformeishugebecauseidon'tcommentalotonpeople'sblogs *BIG DEEP BREATH*
ButI'vebeenaskingyouwhattowearontwitterandyoureallyhelpedmeout
*BIG DEEP BREATH*
And I think there was a hug in there. Lindsay, did you hug me because you couldn't understand what the heck I was saying? If so, it's okay. I totally understand.
This is just ONE of a few examples of how I embarrassed myself over the course of the weekend, but I had an amazing time. And I learned a lot.

I learned that blogging, and this whole blogging WORLD is all about connection-- connection with each other through our writing, and connection with ourselves. Connection with MYself. Connections made through the internet are REAL, folks. They are honest-to-God friendships that form over really small common ground between people, like style, or really BIG common ground like grief. I came away with a renewed excitement about my story. Sometimes I think because I don't have many readers I'm insignificant. But it's quite the opposite. I am fortunate--I have more opportunity to share. And I can't wait to share my story with you.

Over the next few days and weeks I hope to give you some more insight into what I learned at Blissdom. I may be in and out while I'm on vacation but rest assured, the thoughts are a-brewin'. I will also share my story, in pieces, as I am comfortable, but I will share it. I promise to open up my little world and let you in just a little bit more (maybe a little at a time) and hope you find something to make you feel not-so-alone.

And thank you to all the FRIENDS I met at Blissdom for making ME feel not-so-alone in a sea of 500 amazing women. You made me feel just as amazing as you are.

Slap me on the wrist!

2010-02-06T12:16:00.002-05:00

I haven't blogged since I've been here at THE Blogging Conference, Blissdom. Honestly, time has passed so quickly that I have barely seen my husband, my twitter friends, OR myself in the mirror for that matter. The Gaylord Opryland is a little bizarre because EVERYTHING is inside. And still, the hosts/hostesses at the restaurants refer to the seating areas as "inside" and "outside." I feel completely cut off from the outside world, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The entire state of Missouri could have been stomped by the abominable snowman and I would have no idea because I am in a constant state of Bliss.

I'll share more of my thoughts and experiences in the next few days, but be patient with me as I'm going on vacation and visiting with my family in Florida until Feb. 15th. Come back though, I promise to share....I'm just busy! :)

Love to you all, especially those of you who I've met at Blissdom. You are all inspiring me in so many ways, and making me feel like a true member of this community. Especially Vodkamom. But yeah. That's a different story. :)

Triumph

2010-02-03T13:34:00.003-05:00

Oh postpartum depression, you saucy minx. You slick temptress.

You tricked me! You told me 21 months ago (that's almost two years in case you didn't know) that I couldn't wait for my sweet baby to go away. But at the same time, you caused me to hold onto him so tight that I refused to let anyone hold him or see him or take care of him. And again, at the same time, you caused me to quietly, even secretly, rejoice in the "alone time" my husband so graciously gave me WAY too often. You told me that I didn't want that helpless little baby to need me, to nurse, to cry, to simply be a baby.
You caused the most conflicting, gut-wrenching feelings to arise in my very soul so that I couldn't move. Paralyzed by fear, I laid in wait for you to consume me. But then, I tricked YOU.

I crawled, clawed, and screamed my way out of you. Much like that girl from "Silence of the Lambs" in that pit ("It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again"--that was me), I was breaking off fingernails trying to get to the top. Trapped in a completely foreign body, leaking fluid I didn't even know existed, I came into my own and got strong. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and medically. You try to throw me back down there when you tell me that it's not me, it's the medicine. Fear is your spear, and you hurl it at me when I notice the looming deadline of "two years" that I set for my time on medication. Anxiety is your shield and you raise it when I run at you (even with your spear piercing my body); yelling that it's too hard for me to stop taking my wonder drug. You lie. You hate truth. And I know I've outsmarted you.

Tears streamed down my face as I watched my baby walk away from me with his grandma, onto a plane, without a glance back. I was broken. I was worried. I missed him already. Still, you tried to lie and tell me that it was you coming back and the emotions were irrational shadows of the fear I had when he was first born; the fear of letting him out of my sight. But then.... I let go. Josh and I prayed and released our sweet baby to God's hands. "You are not any less in control of that plane and its fate than you would be if you were sitting with Zeke," he said, and I believed. And that is TRUE. Zeke is in God's hands. I am in God's hands. YOU are not. So I went to dinner with my husband. We had a great time. I miss Zeke; I am sad that he is not with me, but I am fine. I will enjoy my time away from him and welcome him back with open arms. But someday again, I will let him go. And I will be okay. And I will NOT be on medication. I got away from you on my own. I will keep running because now I'm strong enough to.

I WIN.

I need you.

2010-02-02T08:23:00.002-05:00

Today I feel much better. While I am not yet 100% back to normal, I'm confident that by the end of the day I will be. Antibiotics and steroids are on board. Yes!

Here is what I need from you, blogosphere. Tonight at 7:55 p.m. Central Time, my 21-month-old son will be flying on a plane to Florida with my mother-in-law. He will be in Florida while I am at Blissdom and my husband and I have some much-needed time together. We'll see him again on Sunday. I feel okay about being away from him for several days. But I am BEYOND nervous about him going on this plan without me. I know that no matter what; whether I am there or not, the plane is not in my control. But I am afraid. So will you please pray (or think good thoughts, or send good energy or whatever--I need it ALL) that Zeke will be safe. Will you pray throughout the day if you think about it? And will you also pray at 7:55 Central Time, when he takes off?

Here are some specific things to pray for:
*That the pilot has rested and is feeling well
*That the plane has no issues--no ice, no mechanical issues, everything in working order
*That the flight attendants are sensitive to my Mother-in-Law's needs and are able and willing to help her get on and off the plane and to Baggage Claim.
*That the plane will take off and land safely
*No turbulance
*That I will feel peace
*That Zeke will be have for his grandma
*That my little boy will not, at any point in the trip, be scared.

Please, please please pray. I know there are many in the blogging world who have problems far worse than me, and I know how fortunate I am. I hope that everyone is praying for them. I feel like I am unworthy of your prayers! But I am so afraid. I will update through Twitter and you can follow me there-- @BoldRach4X.

I love you all, I really really do.

This is all you get from me today.

2010-02-01T13:49:00.002-05:00

Are you KIDDING me?

I mean, you have GOT to be kidding me.

I'm SICK???

I'm sick just DAYS away from the start of Blissdom?!

Ugh.

While I wait for my doctor to decide whether or not he will call in a prescription for antibiotics without me paying him through my *ahem* nose for a visit, I sit on my butt on the couch. I'm vegging out, and you can't stop me. This is all you're getting from me in the way of a blog post today. Enjoy it. Getting better is my top priority right now. Love to you all.

Frugal Foot Finds

2010-01-29T22:13:00.006-05:00

I was asked by one of my awesome Twitter friends at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam to link up with some pictures of my AWESOME frugal find, 3 pairs of shoes for $15.98 at Goodwill. It was such a blessing to find these shoes. They were EXACTLY what I was looking for. Because they are "previously loved" they are a little bit loose (that may also be attributed to my freakishly narrow feet, and even freakishlyer narrower heels), but nothing that can't be fixed by an insert and a heel gripper; or even some thicker socks. So here they are! My super-cheap shoes!

Black, with a chunky heel. $3.99

Also $3.99, these are dark gray, with dark blue stitching, and a lower heel than the black ones.

These were $8.00, and are the cutest brown zip-up boots! I've never had boots with heels before! So fun! And I love the little detail on the zipper pull.

Sorry the pictures are a little bit dark. I think you get the picture. :)

OUT-TAKE ALERT!!!

Ooooh la la!

The one where I make an appointment

2010-01-29T15:13:00.002-05:00

It started innocently enough.

I recently uploaded my pictures from my husband's birthday outing to the Harlem Globetrotters game to our local drug store's website for 1-hour processing. By the time I was able to schlep across town to get them, it was about 3 days later. Don't judge me, you know you do that too. I digress. The pictures would be really cute for frames and scrapbooking, or so I thought. When I finally remembered to take them out of the car that night (I forgot about them AGAIN! What a horrible historian I am!) I was pumped to finally see them. I "oohed" and "ahhed" at the ones of my over-tired son refusing to smile, and the ones of my grinning husband brought a grin to my face as well. And then I saw it.

Cue Scene:
Me: *Gasp* Oh no!
Husband (from the kitchen): What?
Me: Honnnnnneeeeyyyyyy... It looks like I have a mustache in this picture!
Husband (walking into the living room from the kitchen): What? Oh, I'm sure it's not rea--(arrives at the scene of the crime, er, mustache picture). Um, well? Uh...
Me (looking up at husband with a look of sheer terror)(In a whiny voice): Do I need to have it waxed?
Husband (in most diplomatic, even politically correct way possible): takes wife by the shoulders, gazes deeply into her eyes, NOT at her mustache Honey, here me well. I am not saying this in the way you THINK I'm saying it. But.... I think you would WANT to have it waxed. Soon. Do you understand that I'm not saying you NEED to have it waxed?
Me (look of sheer terror continues): Yes. Oh my goodness. How could I not have noticed?! Goes into the bathroom for her first long, hard, look in the mirror since her son was born, comes back out of the bathroom to the scene of the crime, er, mustache picure. Well, it sure is there.
End Scene

So it started out as a nice evening looking at pictures and ended with an appointment to get my mustache waxed. And my eyebrows too. In time for Blissdom.

Exercise, For the Win!

2010-01-27T13:17:00.003-05:00

Surrounded by new friends, awesome speakers, and tons of inspiration to write, exercising may be the last thing on your mind while you attend Blissdom. "But I'm too tired." "I stayed up too late last night." "I'm walking around the hotel. That counts, right?!" "I just don't want to. I'm on vacation, dang it!" Are those thoughts bouncing around in your just-for-blissdom-styled head? If so, time to push them out. Exercise is important in your daily life, right? Then why stop for Blissdom? In fact, I think exercise can really benefit your well-being at Blissdom, and really any conference you go to. Why? Read on, friends. Read on.

The number one tip I hear from the more experienced Blissdom ladies is that you need to bring your fabulous smile. What better way to get into a blissful mood than exercising to crank up your endorphins, the feel-good chemicals in above-mentioned just-for-blissdom-styled head. It's a brain game. Exercise may not feel good at first, but give it a few more minutes and the endorphins will kick in. And you'll have more energy later. Score!

All those new friends you're meeting? You could really solidify your In Real Life relationship with them by pounding the pavement. For some reason, exercise gets us ladies talking. Oh yeah, and misery loves company. I'm a group fitness instructor and I see that every day--if someone drags their friend to my class, they are both more likely to stick with it. Think of it as a bonding moment. "*huff puff* I hate this. You?" "Yeah, me too. *ugh*" See? Instant connection.

Two words: Conference food. So far, I've tallied up a few meal-centered events, including the prayer breakfast (which may or may not be a breakfast, but ladies, I will be starving. So whether I eat there or just after, it will involve food.) and the foodie lunch. And then there are the cocktail parties Thursday and Friday night, not to mention Blissful Bites and Bubbles; also on Friday. The Tastemaker party. The (In)Courage Party. The list goes on and on and on. Then of course we have our regular meals. (If I'm missing anything, please let me know--I want to eat it all!) And isn't there someone out there handing out CHOCOLATE business cards?!!! It all adds up to....calorie overload. Simple formula: If you are not burning more calories than you are taking in, you will not lose weight. If you break even, you will maintain. Tilt the scale the other way and you negate all the hard work you put in to lose weight before Blissdom. And don't say you're not trying, because I know you are! Which leads me to my next point...

Don't you want to look hot for Harry Connick Jr.?!

Hear me well. I'm not telling you that you should run 3 miles around the Gaylord Opryland or run like Phoebe from Friends through the hotel (although if you do, please let me join you!) but you should try to stay active. We'll be sitting on our tushies long enough soaking up the amazing sessions. Don't let your muscles (and all your hard work) go to mush. If you can't find time to hit the fitness center, do some simple exercises in your room with your roommate (or while she watches and laughs. It's okay, she's just jealous!): Squats, Lunges, Pushups and Crunches use absolutely no equipment. If you want to add some resistance, pick up a phone book or your suitcase, or your roommate. Whatever floats your boat. Just stay active. It will keep the smile on your face, the calories off your butt, and Harry Connick Jr. wanting your hot bod.

It's a win-win!

More details on my upcoming trip

2010-01-25T15:04:00.003-05:00

Blissdom is coming up quickly. VERY quickly. As in, this week (being just one week away from the week of the event) totally snuck up on me like the boogeyman.

I am nervous. VERY nervous. Not just because I'm about to meet many of my blogging friends in real life, but because I am letting go of something very important (Josh is too, but this is *ahem* all about me, you see) in order to embark on my conference/vacation:

My child.

One week from tomorrow, February 2, 2010, my sweet 21-month-old will board a plane with my mother-in-law (who is more awesome than words can say) bound for Florida. There he will stay (alternately with both sets of grandparents) until Sunday, when we arrive in Florida for the rest of our vacation in the Orlando area.

This is so difficult for me. I am totally stoked for the opportunity to travel without Zeke; to spend time with my husband; and to just be me, without being a mommy. But the "what if's" are killing me right now. Let's not even talk about the BIG "what if," okay? Because planes make it safely to their destinations EVERY DAY. So why don't we just not talk about that. *Ahem* Moving on. What if he is scared and wants his mama or daddy? We won't be there to help him. What if he misses us? Will he cry when he sees us on Skype? Will he sleep okay? What if he loses Harvey Hamel? Or even worse than all of this, what if he is horribly behaved the whole time and both sets of his grandparents never want to babysit AGAIN?

Have you ever taken vacation without your child? Have you ever sent your child on a plane with another family member? How did it go? How did you get over these feelings? I'm literally having trouble sleeping over this, and it's still over a week away! I know he's going to be fine, but I hate the thought that he might feel abandoned or wonder where we are.

Pray for me!

Twitter Issues

2010-01-23T16:46:00.001-05:00

I have a love-hate relationship with social media; i.e., Twitter and Facebook. Especially Twitter. Upon winning the Steaz contest and claiming my ticket to Blissdom, I (figuratively, of course) was shoved with great force and enthusiasm into the foreign land of social media. For the most part, I really enjoy it! Connecting with people from around the country and even the world is first and foremost a great deal of fun. The internet has made the globe a tiny marble and connected us virtually to one another. But I have reservations.

Much of my study in college was conducted in mass media. I had (and still have) an enormous interest in parasocial relationships (PSR's). Many of my papers, finally culminating in my senior thesis, revolved around them. Here's a link to a Wikipedia article about Parasocial Interaction (PSI). Yes I know Wikipedia isn't the most reliable source of information on the planet, but it had a very clear definition.

So basically a Parasocial Relationship is a one-sided relationship between two people. Often it's used to describe fans and "characters," but can you see how easily this translates into web presence? I've seen this with bloggers. Just read some comments on "famous" mommy bloggers' posts. There are plenty of people who comment as if they know the author. And we, as bloggers, foster this relationship. We tell intimate stories about our lives, our families, and at times, really difficult moments. I LOVE that about blogging. You know I love looking into people's lives, and I love people looking into mine. But still, I feel awkward. And I'd like to start a little discussion. You don't have to answer these questions here (but you can if you want). You can message me on Twitter (I'm @BoldRach4X), email me at racheeb (@) gmail (.) com, or better yet, find me at Blissdom!

How do you feel about blog readers who feel they know you?

Do you consider your relationships on Twitter, etc. to be "real" relationships?

I guess what I'm getting at is this: I follow some amazing people through their blogs and Twitter. I don't want to be the one about whom they say "Man, that girl is CRAAAA--ZY! She thinks she knows me and thinks we're friends, but no way! LAAAAME!"

In the digital age, are we forming real connections with each other? As Blissdom approaches, I'm getting more and more excited to meet so many awesome bloggers in real life (which I've learned is abbreviated to IRL!) and solidify our relationships. I want to make sure our friendship isn't parasocial.

A shout out

2010-01-21T15:28:00.006-05:00

I just have to give a shout-out to my husband, Josh Boldman...because it's his TWENTY-FIFTH birthday today!

That's him on the right :)
That's him on the right, again. I think we're pretty cute together, and I'm amazed that he lets me hang out with him.
That's him on the right...again. He was only 21, I only 23. So we've grown up a little bit in age, and both become a little bit (and I do mean a LITTLE bit!) more mature.

So here we are last summer at my big sis's wedding. A little older, a tiny little bit wiser, and still in love. Awwww! ** And check out the dress! I'll be wearing that to one of the Blissdom cocktail parties! **

I love you Josh! I hope you have a great birthday!

Oh well.

2010-01-19T13:18:00.002-05:00

Here's a tiny snapshot of my morning:

4:45 a.m.--wake up, stumble into bathroom to put workout clothes on. Contacts in. Brush teeth. Say goodbye to husband. Wait for him to mutter "bye honey, do good."

5:15 a.m.--out the door in plenty of time to drive like an 80-year-old so I don't hit a deer on our rural roads and arrive at the YMCA at 5:30.

6:00 a.m.--teach a rockin' full-body strength/toning class.

7:15 a.m.--finish teaching, chat with participants and head out,

7:30 a.m.--arrive back home.

7:30-8:45 a.m.--rush like a MAD WOMAN to shower, put on makeup, do my hair, chug a Carnation Instant Breakfast (anyone know if they want a representative for Blissdom? Cause I'd be a GREAT choice!!), feed Zeke, get him into his alone playtime so he can "go," change his diaper, change his clothes, and get out the door.

Why this huge rush, you ask? Baby Storytime, of course! Zeke loves story time, and so do I. I get quality time with him where I don't have to think about what to do, he gets to play with other kids, and I get to meet other moms. Which brings me to last week. I met an awesome "other mom." She had great hair, had her makeup done, cool clothes; in short, she and her little guy (about 8 months younger than Zeke) looked fabulous, and we seemed to have a lot in common. Of course last week, I had barely gotten a chance to shower, so my hair was dirty and I had very little makeup on. I may have smelled. A little. We walked to our cars together, and said "great! See you next week!" I'm going to be really honest with you--I have been looking forward to seeing this particular mom all week. She seemed so...fabulous! So...put together! Everything I want in a friend, and more! You see, today's rush was for her. I was determined to look and feel more put-together and "with it" than I was last time. I got to the library with plenty of time to spare, hoping our boys could play with the "choo choos" together before the official start time. I grabbed Zeke out of the car and said "Come on kid, Mommy needs this." Not really. Maybe. I'll never tell. All of a sudden, Miss Gina yells, "Ok, let's go into the story time room and get started!" WHAT?! Miss Gina, you must be mistaken; my new, awesome BFF isn't here yet! With a nervous glance around the children's section, I reluctantly went inside. SHE. NEVER. SHOWED. UP. And I was so disappointed. I totally could have stayed home OR gone to the later, 10:30 a.m. story time. Oh well.

Storytime and playgroups are like dating...and I guess she's just not that into me. *sigh*

Make Time for Change

2010-01-18T15:12:00.003-05:00

I was just introduced to a great website, Make Time for Change, by Frigidaire. Basically, all you have to do is click on that little link I just put in there for you, and play their new "Spin and Win" game. Just for playing, Frigidaire will donate $1.00 to Save the Children; which promotes healthy lifestyles. You can play once every day, and be entered into a drawing to win some pretty neat prizes that will help you spend quality time with your family--gift cards for books, craft projects (yay!), movies, and lots of other fun stuff! Today I was entered to win a $200 gift card to play dress up. Ummmm, hello! I LOVE to play dress up! Since Zeke is a boy, I would probably have to find someone else to play dress up WITH, but I'm sure I could find someone! I was also entered to win a Frigidaire Affinity Washer and Dryer. Speaking of spending time with family, do you know how much time having those puppies would save me? Right now I HAVE to be home to do my laundry, and HAVE to do small loads because my washer goes off balance very easily and walks itself all over the laundry room. Usually that happens right when I've started doing something else around the house. Convenience at its finest! So having an Affinity would be a huge time-saver because I could leave the house with confidence, knowing that my equipment wouldn't end up on the other side of the room. The Affinity features the "Balance Control System--

Vibration control technology keeps even oversized loads balanced for smooth, quiet operation." That sounds like EXACTLY what I need.

There are so many SWEET features to this washer, it's ridiculous: Delayed start time. TimeWise Technology--wash time equals dry time. Quick Cycle. And the list goes on.

With all the time I save, I could play with Zeke and NOT have to run outside to rescue a wandering washer. I could concentrate on doing things I like to do while Zeke sleeps--crafts, reading, or just resting. Or I could, you know, clean the toilets or something. Yeah. Whatever.

What would YOU do with the time you'd save using an Affinity washer and dryer?

P.S. This post is an entry for a contest to win an Affinity Washer and Dryer. I don't have one. Did I mention I want one?!

Are you going, Y'all?

2010-01-16T17:39:00.001-05:00

I decided to put this MckLinky up here so I could keep track of who's going to Blissdom on my own blog! This gives me (and you) yet another central place to find new friends.

:) I can't wait!

To HAVE and to HOLD.

2010-01-14T13:18:00.003-05:00

I never wanted to have children. I was born lacking that "I want to be a mommy" gene that some women just seem to HAVE. When my nephew was born in 1998 I was 15 years old and had great opportunities to interact with him and become the awesome aunt that I am today! He was over at our house a lot, and over time I grew to love being around him. I started thinking that someday I might like to be a mother, but I still didn't want to HAVE children.

Zeke was a surprise pregnancy, but by that time I was used to the idea of HAVING children and I thought it sounded like fun. Fun, it was not. I had a great pregnancy, WONDERFUL birth experience, relatively smooth postpartum transition (thank you, Zoloft!), and an awesome baby, but I'm having trouble thinking about HAVING another one. I didn't enjoy being pregnant nearly as much as I should have, or as much as my friends did/do. My back hurt, my belly itched, things moved to weird places, and I was hungry all the time. The weight came right off and in some ways I am stronger and more fit than I was before I had Zeke. I looked great during and after my extremely healthy pregnancy, but there are some lasting effects on my internal self from HAVING a baby that I don't like; mental AND physical.

Being a mother has been amazing. Much different than HAVING a child. I love Zeke, and I love being his mom...but still, I am unsure about having another baby. My husband and I have talked a lot about him being an only child. Recently, I got to thinking about why I never wanted to HAVE children in the first place.

I have always wanted to adopt. Even when I was young, I wanted to HOLD my babies, not HAVE them. Working for just over 18 months at a private Social Services agency helped me see some positives and negatives to adoption, and at the end I decided to leave that job to raise Zeke. But there are some experiences with foster children that have burned memories on my heart. There is something to be said for HAVING your own babies, and HAVING a bond with a child who came from you. BUT there is another thing entirely to be said about HOLDING the baby another woman had and giving him/her a life that they would not have, were it not for you.

Because of my desire to adopt, the stories I'm reading about BRESMA orphanage in Haiti break my heart in a very real way. Please click here for more information, but the long and short of it is that there is an orphanage in Port Au Prince, Haiti (one of many in Haiti, I believe) that has crumbled to the ground following the earthquake. The children are sleeping on the lawn outside of the building...hold on a second...on the lawn outside of the building...please let that sink in for a couple of seconds. The kicker is, many of these children already have arms in the United States waiting to HOLD them. I don't know how to make this happen except through prayer and just giving it exposure in any way I can, but these children need to be brought to the United States, to their families, and to safety. And other children need to be given the opportunity to be adopted quickly into the United States, both the ones currently waiting, and the newly-orphaned affected by this horrible tragedy. Hold on a second....newly-orphaned. Let THAT sink in for a while. I pray that someday my husband and I will be able to adopt. Maybe one of these children, maybe another child somewhere else, or maybe we'll HAVE another of our own. I can't say what God has planned for us. But I know that we are open to HOLDING a child that is not our own, and THAT fulfills my long-awaited desire to be a mother.

Help!

2010-01-12T14:10:00.005-05:00

I guess I need a cocktail dress for Blissdom. I guess. I have NO idea what is appropriate for a cocktail party...but cocktail dress has "cocktail" in the title, so I figure that's appropriate. I tweeted a picture of me in a dress at Express, and that can be found HERE so consider that option #1. Please ignore the fact that my son is leaning over, strapped into his cheap-o stroller trying to get his sippy cup, which he had thrown on the ground. I am NOT in any way saying "Honey, mommy will get your cup in a second, I've just gotta tweet this" at the time. Noooo. I'm a GREAT mom. So yeah that's option #1.

Here is option #2
And Option #3

Aaaaand Option #4
So please, please PLEASE weigh in on the issue--are any/all of these appropriate for a cocktail party? And do you like any of them more than the others? Options 2-4 are great because they already exist in my closet. Option 1 is great because it's a very fun dress...but it must be purchased first! That might not necessarily be a problem, because Express has tons of deals all the time. I would love to hear what you think. Really. I have no idea what a cocktail party even is. Halp!